Birds of a Feather
by Otter and Fox
Summary: Two months after Kida's departure Ikebukuro has grown quiet. The gangs have all but vanished, and humans don't thrill the great Orihara Izaya like they used to. In his loneliness, Izaya is surprised by the most interesting human he knows: himself. Shizaya
1. Chapter 1

**So, uh, hey, you guys! :D I've been frequenting this site for _years_, but I've never written a fanfiction before... However, I read and watched DRRR! this summer and liked it so much that I felt an undeniable need to write something for it ;**

**I promise the story picks up! Right now, though, it's in the "setting up" stage, so bear with me! :) Some side notes: I messed with Izaya's "normal family life" in this and took out Kururi and Mairu in order to make rewriting his past a bit simpler. Sorry to anyone who really likes them ;o; And, the famous...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! It wouldn't be as awesome as it is without Narita!**

**Also, thanks so much to my wonderful beta, _pssty_ (LJ user). I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have someone else to point out my convoluted grammar and typos ;A;  
**

* * *

Hurriedly, Akiko rounded the nearest corner, her breath coming in short, labored pants. Far above her, thunder rolled in the dark sky and, behind her, the sound of footsteps was growing louder and louder until it rang out clearer than the noise of the storm.

She stumbled over a pile of trash as she ran down an alleyway, and it was all she could do to keep from crying out in pain as the movement jostled the laceration along her side. Just as she thought that she had finally reached a safe place, a high wall seemed to rise up out of the darkness, trapping her in the alley.

A dead end.

The girl turned around, looking about for something, anything she could use to defend herself.

At the mouth of the alleyway, Akiko could hear her pursuers sprinting through a large puddle, coming ever closer to where she was only barely hidden by darkness.

"Where'd that bitch go?" one of the men asked in frustration, and – with a startled jump of her heart – she could hear him tapping an aluminum baseball bat against his foot.

"She couldn't've gone far," replied one of his buddies, "This alley's a dead end."

There was a moment of tense silent before the man who had just spoken snapped at the others.

"Well? Go find her!"

Akiko's heart clenched in fear, and something like a scream was trying to claw its way out of her throat.

Just as the small group started to make its way towards her, Akiko dove against the wall of the alley, hidden by a trashcan and a pile of bags. If they just didn't come all the way down the alleyway, she would be fine. She was going to be okay, she was-

"Oh? What are you doing here?" she heard a low voice chuckle over her, "Did you think you could hide?"

Akiko's head snapped up in horror as she gaped at the man standing beside her; her hiding spot hadn't worked out after all.

"No, please!" she cried, doing nothing to stifle the sobs and screams that had been threatening to escape since this chase had begun.

The girl had no idea what she had done wrong. The day had been like any other. She had gone to school, and then walked home with her kouhai so she could tutor him. She had left his house at the same time she always did, just as the sun was beginning to sink, with plans to stop at the grocery store for her mother before she got home.

And that's when the group of young men had noticed her.

"P-please!" she begged, "I don't even know what I've done!"

Pain ran along her spine, and Akiko's vision momentarily blurred for a moment, returning just as she collapsed on the rain-soaked cement. Her dark eyes peered up fearfully as the man over her raised his baseball bat once more.

"You stupid bitch, you think we'll let someone off easily if they _beg? _No one gets away with messing with us!" he laughed, and his friends were beginning to collect around him, all wearing sinister grins.

"I didn't do anything!" shrieked Akiko, "I don't even know who you are!"

"Aw, you've already insulted us, little girl, there's no need to add lying to your list of wrong-doings," chuckled the man, and the others echoed him.

Akiko saw one of them pull a knife from his jacket, and that baseball bat came up again. A small gasp left her lips, and she didn't even have time to raise her arms over her head in an attempt to defend herself.

Only two minutes later, there now lay a bloodied mass of flesh where there had previously been a horrified girl. Blood ran freely from the corpse, trickling down the girl's skin and pooling on the ground where it was carried away by the rain, creating a large, pale red puddle around the men's feet.

As the others busied themselves with cleaning their weapons, the man who had spoken before pulled a can of spray paint from his coat, grinning widely to himself as he popped off the cap and shook it.

A soft hiss accompanied the green paint that moved along the wall over Akiko as the man quickly drew the familiar figure. Though the paint was streaked slightly from the downpour, the shape was unmistakable.

Over Akiko's corpse was now a green, smiling skull and crossbones.

"Alright, boys, it looks like we're done here," said the man cheerfully, pocketing the paint and reaching to take his baseball bat from one of his accomplices.

The group left almost as quickly as they had come, but just as they left the alleyway, the head of the group paused for a moment to turn around and survey their handiwork with a self-satisfied grin.

Laughing now, he hurried to catch up with his friends.

"_No_ _one_ crosses the Farewell Rogers, you stupid bitch!" he called over his shoulder.

* * *

Orihara Izaya was bored.

No, that was putting it mildly. If he were being honest with himself, Izaya would put himself somewhere between listless and downright depressed. It had been two months since Masaomi had left, and yet Izaya hadn't accomplished nearly as much as he would have liked as far as expressing his love for the humans of Ikebukuro went.

Well, really, in two months time, he hadn't accomplished _anything._

The Dollars had once more slipped into blissful obscurity, the Yellow Scarves were quiet – if not nonexistent, and any remaining members of Blue Square had either moved out of town or now did their best to live like regular civilians.

Needless to say, Izaya wasn't having any fun.

With an almost heartbroken sigh, Izaya clicked out of the chat window on his computer screen. No one was online right now. How was he supposed to play with any of his beloved humans when he couldn't even talk to them? It made sense that all of them had better things to do than chat at two in the afternoon, but _still_! He needed something, even just a little chat room, to take his mind off of the void he felt.

But, of course, when he needed them most, his humans had abandoned him.

Sighing again, Izaya shifted where he sat in his chair so that he could rest his head against the arm he had sprawled across his desk. He narrowed his dark eyes at the small calendar that stood beside his monitor, honing in on one day in particular.

Most of the surrounding dates were filled in with appointments or personal plans – of course written in a shorthand only Izaya understood; he couldn't have Namie knowing what he was up to all the time – but one day was completely empty. Day four of May stood out mockingly, emphasized by the bright red circle that surrounded its emptiness.

Giggling a little too loudly for the silent office, Izaya muttered under his breath.

"Well, isn't that special~? I've nearly survived another year. How exciting!" the man clapped gleefully a few times, and his giggling increased a little in volume.

But his laughter suddenly ceased as he gave the calendar a particularly dirty look.

"But I really don't need _you_ telling me how old I'm getting," he sneered at the little calendar accusingly, glaring for a moment longer before he burst once more into cackling.

"Not that I'm not enjoying your constant lapse in sanity," interrupted an irritated voice, "But _some of us_ are actually trying to work here."

Grinning broadly, Izaya turned his attention to where Namie stood on the second story pulling files from his expansive bookshelves.

"Eh, Namie? This is my office, and I'll be as noisy as I like," replied Izaya with a happy smirk on his face, "Besides, one of us needs to laugh sometimes. And seeing how you're so serious, I suppose I've gotta laugh enough for the both of us."

Izaya fell silent once more, fixing his employee with a blank stare as his smirk vanished from his pale face into a tight line.

Namie scowled at the man and went back to fishing papers out of the file she currently held cradled in one of her arms. It was silent for about half a minute before Namie glanced down and saw that her employer was still watching her with that empty expression on his face.

"What on earth are you doing?" she questioned testily, frowning.

Izaya's brows tensed over his narrowed eyes, and he leaned forward a bit in his chair so that he could rest his elbows on his knees and steeple his fingers before his face.

"So serious," replied Izaya softly, and it was only then that Namie realized the man was _imitating_ her.

As soon as he saw the realization wash over his employee's face, Izaya's façade shattered, and he broke out into laughter once more.

Shaking her head with a groan of frustrating, Namie turned back to her work. She had been working for Izaya too long for his jokes to bother her. Besides…

The laughter had gradually faded into giggles and then into irregular chuckles until the room was once more silent.

When Namie was sure that Izaya was no longer watching her, she looked down at the game board that sat on the coffee table between the two sofas in the office. Not a single game piece, Shogi, chess, checkers, or otherwise decorated the shining top of the new game board Izaya had purchased after an "unfortunate accident" involving his past board and matches.

It had been two months since Namie had seen a single piece on the board. Two months since that Kida Masaomi kid had left and Ikebukuro had finally calmed down.

Namie hadn't quite decided how she was going to exploit her employer's recent state or if she even would. But she knew that this might be her only chance.

Cautiously, as though any sudden movement of her eyes might once more attract Izaya's attention, Namie shifted her gaze from the empty game board to where the man sat at his desk. Izaya was slumped back in his chair, almost sinking a bit, as he stared vacantly at his computer screen.

Maybe it was the silence of Ikebukuro, or perhaps Izaya was finally beginning to realize how old he was, or it could even be that what Izaya's "beloved humans" had been saying about him was finally getting to him, but…

Namie frowned a bit to herself and began to thumb through the files she held once more.

It didn't take a genius, or even an information broker, to figure it out.

Orihara Izaya was lonely.

* * *

**Hopefully chapter two will be up some time next week; I'm trying to keep my writing two chapters ahead of what I post, so here's to hoping!**

**Thank you guys so much for reading! :) If you would like to leave a review, that's _awesome!_ and I will be SO EXCITED, if not, that's cool, too! (^o^)/ Anyhow, if I can keep to my schedule, I shall see you cool cats next week! Thanks again~!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Due to chapter one being so short and slow, I'm uploading two early :O I should finish chapter four tomorrow, though, so it's not a huge deal if I post these chapters a little ahead of schedule. Also, I apologize for starting both chapters one and two with seemingly random OC (not that the OCs really matter, since you don't see them again) scenes, but they're important to the plot! :) I promise!**

**And thank you to those who have added this story/me to their alerts ^ ^ I really appreciate it! Hopefully you all will enjoy this chapter, especially because... HEY, IT'S SHIZUO FINALLY :D**

**Disclaimer: Hahahaha. Yeah, I definitely don't own Durarara! XD;  
**

* * *

"So I suppose it's settled then? We'll be offering the part to Aaron Ames," spoke the woman sitting at the head of the table, her fierce eyes running down the cast list they had put together in the past four hours.

All around the large table in the conference room sat official, important looking people dressed in expensive business suits, overpriced bottles of water sitting in front of them. Each one nodded in turn as the woman looked up at them for their approval.

One person, a young man – an amateur- did not nod, however. His brow was furrowed in concentration as he looked back over the cast list. This was the man's first casting job, and – like all newbies – he most likely had a skewed perspective of how much say he actually had in the committee's decision.

"I really don't think that Ames is the man for the job," he suddenly said, and thought he mumbled, everyone turned to look at him with varying looks of confusion and shock on their faces.

"What do you mean Ames isn't our man?" questioned the woman to his right derisively, "He's been in all of the big hits released in the past five years. He's more than qualified for this job!"

"Yeah, Murakawa. Ames could be the difference between this film sinking and us making millions," agreed the man sitting across the table from him.

The young man simply shook his head and pulled a manila folder from his brief case, sliding it across the table towards the woman sitting at the head.

"I think this man might be the only one able to pull off the part," explained the young man before glancing about the table, "Have any of you heard of Yuuhei Hanejima?"

"I've heard his name a few times in the industry," remarked another man, and a few of the others sitting at the table nodded their consent, "But he's not a British actor…"

"No," Murakawa confirmed excitedly, "He's an A-list Japanese actor, and he's better than anything we've ever seen in Britain."

"But does he speak English?" inquired the woman at the head of the table as she gingerly lifted the cover of the folder to look at its contents.

"Probably better than most Britons," laughed Murakawa, his cheerful demeanor concealing his anxiety as he watched his boss' gaze read Hanejima's file.

"Hmmm… he has an impressive résumé; I've heard of most of these movies," she said thoughtfully, and then her eyes widened as she got to the actor's photo at the bottom of the page.

Perhaps it was just a trick of the light, but Murakawa was certain that he saw a faint blush spread across her face.

"Anna," the woman suddenly snapped, looking up at the secretary who had been sitting in the corner throughout the entire meeting.

"Yes, ma'am?" Anna replied uneasily, the hand she had been writing notes with jerking in surprise as she straightened up in her chair.

"Scratch our plans to call Ames. I need you to call Hanejima as soon as you can. He's needed in London."

Where he sat at the other end of the table, Murakawa basked in his moment of triumph and allowed himself the tiniest of self-satisfied smiles.

* * *

The door behind Shizuo closed with an unusually soft click; he was too worn out from the day to carry any residual frustration. He and Tom had spent hours trying to hunt down a man with some especially steep debts only to discover that he had fled from Ikebukuro a week ago.

"Tadaima," muttered Shizuo out of habit. He hadn't lived with anyone else in years, and yet he always felt the need to announce his return at the end of the day.

A soft meow sounded from somewhere in the small kitchen that connected to the apartment's living room, and Shizuo looked over to see a mangy-looking black cat staring back at him from its spot on the kitchen counter.

"You're still here, are you?" the bodyguard asked, grinning slightly.

The cat merely stared back at him with those eerily familiar dark eyes.

Shizuo had found the thing outside of his apartment in the rain two nights ago, and he hadn't the heart to throw it out. He left a window cracked open for it before he left everyday, but it wouldn't leave. If Shizuo was lucky, maybe none of his neighbors would notice his new roommate, and he wouldn't even have to pay a pet deposit for the miserable creature.

With a heavy sigh, Shizuo walked past the cat into his kitchen, heading towards his fridge.

"It's a wonder you don't get bored here," Shizuo said to the cat as he opened his fridge and reached in to retrieve two beer bottles, "There's gotta be something more exciting for you out in the city. Aren't there pigeons to kill, girl cats to chase…?"

The cat meowed loudly as it hopped down from the countertop and wound tightly around Shizuo's legs, staring up at the man with its wide brown eyes.

"I guess you're hungry by now," said Shizuo, going back into the fridge to sift through his small stockpile of food.

"You're probably not a huge fan of rice, are you…"

As Shizuo finally found a Styrofoam box of leftover sushi, thinking out loud to the cat all the while, he realized that this was the first time he had had any semblance of "company" in his apartment in months. If a cat could count as company.

He popped the box open and set it down on the kitchen tile, and the little cat leaned down to sniff the old sushi gingerly, unimpressed.

"I promise it's fine," Shizuo said quickly.

The cat looked at him with disbelief for a moment before it lowered its head to pick at the bits of fish it deemed edible. Smiling gently, Shizuo made his way into the adjoining living room and grabbed the nearby TV remote as he settled down on his sofa. With one hand, he flipped the TV to the news while he popped the cap off of one of his beers with the other.

"…wo more found dead this morning. Though the police have been able to attribute the recent murders to a new gang, little else is known."

Lurching forwards, Shizuo reached for the remote and turned up the volume. Were these the same murders he had been hearing about for the past few weeks?

"Yuujin Akiko – a young Riara Academy student – was found dead early this morning right beside this new graffiti-"

Shizuo shut off the TV with a scowl. Yep, the same murders he had been hearing about for the past few weeks. It really shouldn't have surprised him; Ikebukuro had been calm for so long that it was only a matter of time before something bad happened.

Most of the old gangs had gone completely silent, giving this new gang the perfect opportunity to recruit and take to the streets to wreak havoc.

What was it they called themselves? The Goodbye Johnnies? Shizuo snorted with disdain and took a long swig from his beer before leaning over the back of his sofa.

Though it was likely that that goddamn flea was behind this new streak of 'Bukuro violence – the sick fuck had probably finally gotten bored – Shizuo didn't really believe it. One little gang going around killing high schoolers? It wasn't confusing enough to be one of Izaya's so-called games.

Shizuo reached up to massage one of his temples, fighting off what was probably a developing migraine. It was too late, and he was way too tired to bother thinking about that flea right now.

Without the TV on, the apartment was dead silent. Closing his eyes, Shizuo sighed and let himself enjoy the calm. After a long day running around the city, chasing after the indebted of Ikebukuro, and dealing with the everyday conflict that arose in such a lively city, the silence was welcome, relaxing, beautiful. It was- It was…

Goddamn lonely.

A loud meow sounded from the sofa cushion near one of the bodyguard's knees, echoing throughout the empty apartment as if it knew exactly what Shizuo was thinking.

Cracking a single gray eye open, Shizuo scowled down at the cat for a moment before lifting a hand to stroke its head gently.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he chuckled, "I've got you now."

Perhaps Shizuo was losing it, talking to a cat and treating it like a roommate, so he felt the need to tell it:

"And there's always Kasuka. As long as I've got Kasuka, I can't be lonely."

The cat stared at him with its peculiar brown eyes for a long moment before it meowed once more.

Shizuo smiled gently and rubbed the cat's ears, content for now to simply sit and relax after his day. Not ten seconds after his eyes started to close drowsily, the irritating vibration of Shizuo's phone against his thigh roused him. Shizuo reached into his pocket with a scowl. Typical, just as he was about to fall asleep someone just _had_ to bother him.

All of Shizuo's irritation vanished like a puff of smoke as soon as he saw the name flashing on the screen.

"Oh!" he breathed cheerfully at the cat, "It's Kasuka!"

Getting to his feet, Shizuo flipped the phone open quickly and held it to his ear.

"Kasuka, I was just- Oh… No, I'm not busy right now," said Shizuo as he walked from his living room, "What's up…?"

* * *

_ "Shush, darling. Do you want daddy to hear you?"_

_ At the gentle reprimand of his mother, Izaya bit his lower lip to stifle his little cries. Her hands stroked his back in slow, small circles as she tried to soothe him, and Izaya curled up tightly in her lap._

_ "Why don't we leave, mama? Run away somewhere so he can't find us," Izaya whispered weakly into the fabric of her shirt._

_ The hands on Izaya's back tensed, and the little boy squeezed his eyes shut. He knew he had upset his mother with his question._

_ Gradually, though, his mother's hands relaxed once more and resumed their slow pace up and down his back._

_ "We could never do that, sweetie," the woman whispered into her son's ear, "I love your father, and he loves us."_

_ "Then why does he hit you?" persisted Izaya angrily, careful to keep his frustrated questions soft lest his father hear him, "Why does he hurt us?"_

_ Izaya's face was buried in his mother's shirt, but he could tell that she was smiling by the way her voice sounded._

_ "That's just how he shows his love for us, baby."_

_ "How come you're hiding, then, if you love him?" Izaya murmured, eyes falling to half-mast. He knew this line of questioning was pointless. If his mother had wanted to leave, wanted to save herself, wanted to save him, she would have done so a long time ago._

_ "It's part of the game we play," his mother chuckled._

_ Before Izaya could ask any more questions, and he certainly wanted to, his father's voice boomed down the hallway, practically shaking the door of the room they hid in off of its hinges in his fury._

_ "Yumeko! Izaya! I know you're in there!" the man yelled angrily._

_ Swallowing down another scared sob, Izaya clung to his mother even more tightly. His little heart pounded frantically against his ribcage as the footsteps outside of the door grew louder and louder, closer… closer…_

_ Two long shadows were cast across Izaya and his mother as his father came to stand right outside of the door._

_ So this was love, huh?_

_ "Yumeko, let me give my son his birthday present!"_

_ The door thudded louder than thunder as the man outside kicked the door once, twice, thrice-_

_ The sound of the door cracking seemed to reverberate in Izaya's very chest, and his heart fluttered feebly. Those footsteps moved quickly towards where Izaya and his mother were crouched once, twice, thrice-_

Izaya bolted upright in his bed, one of his hands coming up to clutch his chest. A cold sheen of sweat covered his body, and his breath was coming in uneven pants.

He struggled to calm himself down for a few moments before his signature smirk suddenly twisted the corners of his lips and he began laughing. His laughter was soft at first, but as he went back over the details of his dream, it blossomed into a loud cackle.

He had no idea how he could have forgotten that charming birthday memory.

"You two must have loved each other a lot. You were the perfect couple," he giggled acerbically as he slid off of his bed, bare feet landing on the wood floor of his room softly.

There was no going back to sleep after a vivid dream like that.

As Izaya walked across his apartment and into his kitchen, he caught sight of the microwave clock and scowled. It was only two in the morning. He had hours to kill until he actually had to "wake up".

His luck this evening just kept getting better and better.

Tiredly, Izaya busied himself around his kitchen with making tea, and only grew more frustrated when he discovered his electric kettle was broken. Of fucking course.

While he waited for his water to boil, the thrum of the microwave almost deafening in the quiet apartment, Izaya tried to keep his mind off of his dream. It's not like he was surprised about it; his birthday was just over a week away. He was sure that even his beloved humans reminisced about past birthday celebrations each year.

_Beloved_ humans.

Izaya grinned at the thought. It was thanks to his parents that he knew how to love as well as he did. Without their guidance, he might have never been able to love humanity as much as he did.

His grin fell a little, and Izaya's eyes darkened. The microwave had begun to beep, but he ignored its shrill complaints.

Personally, he would _never_ want anyone to love _him._ He had already suffered quite a bit in the name of "love". There was no need to subject himself to that again. Love was for people like Masaomi, Saki, Namie…

Izaya jolted, startled, when his hand missed the tin of tea he had been reaching for and knocked it over instead. The lid popped off, and tea leaves scattered all across the formerly pristine counter.

People like Masaomi, Saki, and Namie who would do anything for the one they supposedly loved.

Tutting to himself, Izaya began sweeping the loose tea leaves off the counter and into one of his hands. It was too late for this sort of deep self-discovery thinking. If he pursued this line of thought for any longer, he just might begin to believe something utterly absurd. Something as absurd as the idea that perhaps he had been _wrong_.

Izaya finally rescued his mug of hot water from the microwave, shutting off his mind just long enough to allow himself to prepare his tea. For a long moment, he contented himself with simply watching the way the steam rose from the water to curl lazily in the air before disappearing.

He couldn't have been wrong for twenty-three years. That was fucking crazy.

Love was invading every aspect of another person's life, finding out enough about them that it took only the littlest bit of information, the tiniest misdirection, to set their entire life off balance. _That_ was devotion. _That _was love.

And then hatred… Well, hatred was the absence of this devotion, or maybe it was even when something was simply an annoyance to you, something you were incapable of loving.

But then why was Izaya the only one who knew this?

Chuckling, Izaya jabbed at his mug of tea with his forefinger accusingly.

"I'm not wrong, little tea," he insisted, "Maybe I'm the only sane one in the world!"

However, it wasn't as if it would hurt to make sure, would it?

"I'll just have to pay my favorite city a visit to get a look at this so-called "love" everyone else seems to believe in, little tea," said Izaya, giggling cheerfully as he picked up his new confidant and made his way back to his room.

He would leave for Ikebukuro tomorrow, appointments be damned. It's not like selling information to yakuza and the rest of the Tokyo underworld gave Izaya the thrill it used to anyway. In fact, he was feeling much more cheerful about his plans for the next day than he had in, well... two months.

He might be able to go back to sleep after all. The effects of his unpleasant dream had been almost entirely washed away by the happy thought of spending some time in Ikebukuro – his favorite playground.

"You'll see soon, you skeptical little tea!" he assured the mug in his hand as he twirled around cheerfully, "I can't be wrong about this!"

* * *

**Ooooh~ a tiny glimpse of Izaya's past! :O Hopefully this chapter was more enjoyable than one, since things are starting to get into motion! ^O^ (chapter three is where shit really starts to go down)**

**Anyhow! Thanks so much for reading~! Reviews make me super happy, but I'll still love you even if you don't review! (though I'll love you a little more if you _do_ XD;)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Oh dear ;^; Let me start by thanking all those who have added me/this story to their alerts and those who have reviewed~ It really makes me super happy to know that someone is reading and enjoying this.**

**Amazed: I'm going to try to update at least once a week :) Hopefully that's not too long a wait.**

**Anyhow, I give you chapter three; which is my favorite chapter so far, in which Izaya has his wonderful day ruined by Shizuo, the slight Shizaya moments start rolling, and Izaya _realizes things._**

**I hope you guys love this chapter as much as I do! :D (Disclaimer: Don't own DRRR!, never will~)**

* * *

_Okay,_ so maybe no one had insulted their supposed loved one with any biting comments before laughing maniacally yet, but that didn't mean he was wrong, Izaya thought with a scowl as he watched another couple walk by behind the sunglasses that made up part of his brilliant disguise.

He had been sitting outside of this café underneath an ostentatious umbrella for the better part of an hour, content to simply watch his beloved humans interact free from his tinkering. Fortunately for Izaya, and most likely due to his genius disguise (consisting of a pair of sunglasses, a simple yellow t-shirt, and jeans just like any other normal young human), the man had been able to observe without anyone noticing his awe-inspiring presence. He certainly wouldn't have been happy if his humans went out of their way to act differently under the scrutiny of his powerful gaze.

Yet another giggling couple – couple number forty-four, to be exact – walked by Izaya, linked arm-in-arm and acting giddy just from being around each other, and Izaya caught himself frowning with displeasure.

Obviously something was wrong. Every couple had its inescapable issues – that was something Izaya knew very well – so for so many couples to act just short of _freakishly_ affectionate was bizarre. And suspicious, he noted. Perhaps they had seen through the disguise he had thought was so foolproof.

Sighing to himself, Izaya took another sip from the mug of coffee sitting before him as he cast his glance as discreetly as possible around the patio of the café. A little glumly, the informant noted that he was the only one sitting alone. Those who weren't with their significant other had come to the café to chat with their friends, and most of them were smiling and laughing as they conversed with one another.

It's not like Izaya was feeling _lonely_ – no, that would be utterly ridiculous – but the informant couldn't help but wonder why no one had approached him. Didn't humans do that sometime; randomly introduce themselves to strangers who looked like they might or might not be lonely or feeling left out?

Grinning a bit and feeling a little more cheerful, Izaya realized that it must just be because his humans were too afraid to approach him. Without his signature fur-lined coat, he was sure that they couldn't recognize him for certain, but a few of them probably felt that he was familiar and sensed that he was someone not to be trifled with. That, or they were simply feeling too self-conscience to approach the one person who pulled all of their strings, whether they knew it or not.

That was definitely it.

With a pleased hum, Izaya pulled the little coffee stirrer from his mug and slowly ran his tongue along its plastic surface, licking off the traces of whipped cream as his thoughts began to wander.

So far, he hadn't seen anything to disprove his sneaking suspicion that perhaps his entire life view when it came to love was skewed to say the least. But just because the informant didn't have any proof to support his view yet didn't mean that it was wrong. Perhaps he was just hanging around the wrong part of Ikebukuro?

Izaya had only just begun to consider which other areas of his favorite city he should visit when an almost feral cry derailed his train of thought.

"IIIZAAAYAAAA-KUUUN! You _bastard!_"

The unlucky coffee-drinkers sitting closest to Izaya suddenly looked at him as they only just now noticed to whom it was they were sitting so close. Leaving their beverages behind, the customers of the small café got up as quickly as they could and sprinted away from the danger zone.

With a gleeful smirk, Izaya rolled to the ground just as a bench came soaring over his head from the nearest, now-benchless bus stop.

"Aw, Shizu-chan! I'm so proud that you were able to see through my clever disguise~!" Izaya cooed as he hopped to his feet and clasped his hands under his chin, "Perhaps you're even smarter than I thought you were!"

"Shut the fuck up, you stupid flea!" snarled Shizuo as he ran closer to the informant, grabbing an unfortunate café table on his way.

"I don't know how you did it!"

The words barely had time to register in Izaya's mind before the table clipped his shoulder as it soared past, and he staggered back a couple of steps, grimacing and rotating his arm.

The huge moron had nearly dislocated Izaya's arm, but at least the informant had been able to move before it hit his skull; Shizuo was _really_ angry today, and Izaya hadn't even done anything. _Yet,_ he thought with a smirk.

"Did what, Shizu-chan?" asked the slighter man as he ducked a moment before an umbrella decapitated him, "I was _born_ this gorgeous~!" he giggled.

"You know what you did!" roared Shizuo as he swung the umbrella he held tightly in his grip once more, the metal bending under his hands as easily as if it were clay.

Izaya danced away from Shizuo with a grating laugh, scowling as soon as he turned his back to run for it. He could understand Shizuo attacking him for the crimes he had framed the other man for or out of simple hatred, but this time Izaya really had no idea what the fuck he had done. And he had been having such a nice day, too.

Why did that blond idiot have to be so unpredictable?

"If Shizu-chan wants to kill me, he'll have to catch me first!" called Izaya over his shoulder as he skipped – very quickly – down the road and away from the bodyguard.

He didn't get very far.

Izaya's face introduced itself to the pavement before the informant could dodge the umbrella that Shizuo had flung at him. The metal bar of the large umbrella had cracked mercilessly across his back, causing the informant to go temporarily numb before a slow, pulsing pain erupted all over his body.

"Don't try to run from me, you worthless piece of shit," Shizuo growled quietly, the softness of his voice much more threatening than any of his shouting.

"Whoah, Shizu-chan," chuckled Izaya as he forced himself onto his feet once more, a wince flashing across his face for a fraction of second before his controlled, cocky mask once more slipped into place, "What's got you all wound up today?"

Though Izaya's voice was as unconcerned and amused as ever, the smaller man's hand grasped tightly around the flickblade in the pocket of his jacket.

"Don't fuck with me, Izaya," warned the blond, nearing Izaya slowly now as a wolf might do with its prey.

Shizuo moved to pull the nearest stop sign from its fixed spot on the road, and Izaya saw his chance. On any normal day, Izaya would have gladly played with Shizuo all around the obstacle course that was Ikebukuro, but today was not any normal day; Izaya had things to do, and he didn't need to waste any of his precious time on Shizuo today.

The instant Shizuo's eyes shifted from the informant to the stop sign he had chosen as his next weapon, Izaya turned quickly, about to sprint into the nearest alleyway and disappear.

A strong hand grabbed the back of Izaya's neck, pulling him off of the pavement so that his feet dangled a foot or two off the ground. Shizuo shifted his hand slightly so that Izaya faced him, and so that he had a better grip on the smaller man's windpipe.

"Sh-Shizu-chan," gasped Izaya, bringing one of his hands up to Shizuo's wrist as little spots began to dance across his vision.

"I can understand you coming after _me_, but messing around with…" Shizuo trailed off, his body trembling with rage and his gray eyes darkening, "But now I've finally got you, you goddamn flea."

_Shit._

Shizuo tightened his grip around Izaya's throat, and the informant wheezed feebly as the strongest man in Ikebukuro began to squeeze the life from him; Shizuo was actually going to kill him this time.

Sunlight glittered off of metal as Izaya suddenly whipped his flickblade out of his pocket and plunged the small blade into Shizuo's forearm. He gasped as he was suddenly dropped to the pavement on his ass, but he was on his feet in a second.

"IZAYAAA!" Shizuo yelled angrily, actually reaching for the stop sign this time and pulling it up from where it was bolted to the concrete. The bodyguard's forearm bled profusely from his movement, but the man didn't even seem to notice.

Izaya ducked as Shizuo swung the sign at him, its sharp edge barely missing his head, and ran at the bodyguard quickly, keeping low in order to avoid the sign as it came for him again. Shizuo wasn't able to let go of it quickly enough before Izaya suddenly rammed his elbow into Shizuo's ribcage.

Winded, Shizuo staggered back, clutching at his chest with his injured arm. His foot hadn't even hit the ground again when Izaya kicked his feet out from under him and Shizuo's back hit the road with a painful thud.

Shizuo was frozen where he lay. Ordinarily, he'd have no problem recovering from such a blow, but…

Izaya loomed over him, straddling Shizuo's waist as he held his flickblade to the bodyguard's throat. Despite Izaya's threatening stance, his brown eyes were wide with something akin to fear.

But as soon as Shizuo thought he had seen it, the strange emotion vanished from the informant's gaze to be replaced by mirth, leaving Shizuo to wonder if he had really seen anything at all.

"I was hoping that the day I killed Shizu-chan would be more memorable, but I suppose this will have to do," pouted Izaya dramatically as he pressed his blade into Shizuo's skin and drew a small trickle of blood.

Shizuo made the tiniest noise of anger in the back of his throat before he relaxed and surrendered himself to simply lay there, his brows drawn down in irritation. He couldn't try to move Izaya off without being stabbed in the neck, but if he stayed where he was, he'd be stabbed anyway.

Several little drops of blood ran down from the small cut Izaya had made in Shizuo's neck and onto the pavement, and Izaya watched them carefully, he found himself hesitating.

Not even two minutes ago, Izaya had been terrified that Shizuo was about to actually kill him even though, after all of these years, the informant had always known this would only end when one of them died. He had accepted that, hadn't he?

Or maybe somehow, along the way, Izaya had forgotten that one of them would have to die. Maybe he had allowed himself to believe that the two of them could forever run around Ikebukuro after one another in an endless, violent game of tag.

Well, even if he had forgotten, he remembered now. If one of them had to die, of course it had to be Shizuo; Izaya would never let himself be killed, especially by such a wild brute.

But _could_ he kill Shizuo? For the first time in two months, Izaya felt alive. His heart was beating ferociously behind his chest, and sweat was rolling down his face, and – most of all – he _felt_ something. Humans interested him again, for however briefly, even if it was just this one particular human.

During the informant's internal struggle, Shizuo watched Izaya warily, waiting for the man to do something other than stare at him with the freakishly seriously look he was wearing on his face.

"Stupid flea…" muttered Shizuo, "If you're going to kill me, could you just do it already?"

Izaya's eyes widened as Shizuo's low voice pulled him from his thoughts, and his signature smirk crept slowly onto his lips once more.

"Actually, Shizu-chan, I think I've changed my mind," began Izaya thoughtfully, straightening his back so that he was no longer hunched over the bodyguard, "Don't you think it would be a waste for me to end this whole thing" – he continued with a flourish of his arms – "so anticlimactically? I haven't played with Shizu-chan nearly enough…"

A single, ring-adorned index finger poked Shizuo in the face with more force than necessary.

"And I haven't seen this handsome face twisted with despair after I've disassembled your life from the inside out, Shizu-chan," Izaya breathed darkly before laughing wildly from where he sat above the bodyguard.

"So it looks like you get to live another pitiful day in the life of Heiwajima Shizuo all thanks to my generous self~!" said Izaya cheerfully as he jumped away from Shizuo and skipped out of the other man's reach.

"Izaya-kuuuun-" Shizuo began angrily,

"Ja ne, Shizu-chan~!" called Izaya over his shoulder, waggling his fingers at the bodyguard in what must have been a wave before disappearing among the afternoon crowds of Ikebukuro.

Had he still been angry, Shizuo would have given chase to the stupid, little flea until he caught him again and could repay him for the lovely gash on his arm that was just now beginning to sting.

But Shizuo's anger had already dissipated.

Izaya's eyes had had that look in them again some time during the short period of time he had spent thinking above Shizuo. The informant had been afraid for the second time that day.

Shizuo could practically hear the sound of something clicking in his mind, and he scowled, rubbing the back of his neck as he began the walk towards Shinra's apartment. The flea couldn't have been _afraid_ of killing Shizuo, could he?

The bodyguard grinned wryly at the thought and pulled a cigarette from the pack in his pocket, content to crush the tobacco between his teeth.

No, that was crazy. It must have been a trick of the light, perhaps a shadow cast across Izaya's face that had made him look so fearful.

Though Shizuo spent the entire way to Shinra's apartment trying to convince himself that he hadn't actually seen what he thought he saw, he was still scowling with confusion by the time he knocked on the door to his friend's apartment.

If it was so crazy, why couldn't he believe any other possible explanation?

* * *

Izaya wasn't one for tantrums, but he couldn't help but kick the door to his apartment open when he got home. The tall wooden door shivered in pain as it collided harshly with the wall behind it and Izaya stalked in past it.

His apartment was already cast in the pale orange glow of sunset. Almost an entire day had passed, and Izaya had learned _nothing_ except-

"Fuck!" he shouted angrily, kicking the door again to close it with much more force than necessary, "Fucking _dammit!_"

"Well…"

At the sound of the feminine voice coming from the kitchen, Izaya froze. How could he have forgotten that Namie was still here?

"I suppose I should start looking for another job since whatever asylum you escaped from seems to have finally found you," spoke Namie flatly.

The woman had moved from the kitchen to look her employer up and down, her arms crossed before her chest as she tried to figure out what Izaya's problem was now.

"Ne? You know I've been able to avoid them for years, Namie," Izaya chuckled, doing his best to make up for letting his emotions slip around the woman, "No reason they should catch me now~"

Namie scowled simply because she couldn't tell whether or not the man was kidding; she was thoroughly convinced that Izaya had escaped from a mental institution. And if he somehow hadn't, he certainly belonged in one.

"But just in case you'd like to avoid any possible conflict that may or may not occur later this evening, you're certainly welcome to go home for the day," continued Izaya, smirking all the while.

Alright, _now_ Namie knew he was joking about the whole thing. Not as if that meant she wouldn't take him up on his unexpected offer, however.

"I suppose that would be best. I don't want them thinking I'm crazy, too, for working for you," Namie said with a nod as she began to quickly shove her belongings into her purse; she didn't want Izaya retracting that statement of his before she could leave.

Even though she expected him to, Izaya said nothing, merely watching Namie as she finish packing up in silence. The man was still smirking as he followed Namie to the door and closed it a bit too loudly behind her.

She stood in the outer hallway for a moment, hands tight around the strap of her purse as she waited.

"SHIT!" cursed the furious voice of her employer from behind the door.

With a pleased little smile, Namie nearly skipped the rest of the way down the hallway. Nearly. She wasn't some psycho like Izaya.

* * *

As soon as Namie was gone and his apartment door was locked, Izaya allowed himself to slump back tiredly into his swivel chair. He ran a hand through his dark hair with a groan, his eyes slipping shut.

Not only had he been stupid enough to forget Namie was working today – thus leading to the woman to see him genuinely angry – but he hadn't even accomplished what he had set out to do in Ikebukuro. His inability to research the phenomena known as "true love" wasn't entirely his fault. After all, he would probably still be in Ikebukuro right now if it hadn't been for that idiot Shizu-chan…

_Shizu-chan._

"Dammit…" Izaya breathed, all of his energy rushing out of his body in that single breath as he opened his eyes and leaned against his desk, staring off vacantly at his empty apartment.

Izaya wanted to believe that what he had said to Shizu-chan earlier had been the truth. After so many years of violent, strategic (well, on Izaya's part) cat-and-mouse, it would have been a shame to end it all with such a lack of ceremony today. Izaya didn't want to kill Shizu-chan unless he had planned out every moment down to the great oaf's last breath.

Yes. His decision today had absolutely _nothing_ to do with the fear that had coursed through his body when he held his knife against Shizu-chan's throat, so sure that he would add the little bit of pressure needed to slice through the larger man's carotid artery. It had nothing to do with the way Izaya's fingers had begun to tremble as he realized what he was about to do, and it _certainly_ had nothing to do with the wild thoughts that had raced unchecked through his mind.

But perhaps some of those thoughts had been right. Izaya had been feeling listless and lonely – yes, he would admit it at least to himself – for the past two months, but when he had seen Shizu-chan today, he had completely forgotten that cold loneliness. All there had been was Shizu-chan and he free to race after one another through the streets and alleys of Ikebukuro.

Izaya smirked to himself, allowing the smallest of chuckles as he rest his head against the cool top of his desk. Leave it to Orihara Izaya to feel most alive when violence itself came chasing after him.

Despite the number of people who knew _of_ Orihara Izaya, no one actually _knew_ him. Izaya couldn't get close to other people; he never saw them as anything more than his beloved pawns. Shizu-chan, though…

Shizu-chan was no pawn. Perhaps the only human – if that's really what Shizu-chan was – alive whose every move Izaya could not predict was Shizu-chan. Izaya saw him as something to be played with, not something to be manipulated to his heart's content.

That was likely the reason behind why the only person Izaya had ever felt any sort of connection with was Shizu-chan; Izaya couldn't manipulate him, and Shizu-chan shared the same thought as Izaya when they saw each other.

_Kill, kill, kill!_

The only time they knew what the other was thinking was when they were chasing each other for Ikebukuro, out for the other's blood. Izaya would be lying if he said that it didn't thrill him.

And that, ultimately, was why Izaya hadn't killed Shizu-chan today. He was addicted to chasing down a man he couldn't understand, he was addicted to the rapt attention Shizu-chan game him while they fought, and he was addicted to the routine they so easily fell into when they saw each other.

Without that, Izaya really would be lonely.

The informant burst out into unrestrained laughter, his massive, void apartment filling with the sound of his bitter amusement.

How surprising! How amusing!

Years and years spent content to be alone, and now that Izaya finally felt the emptiness of his lonely life, the only person had really shared any sort of emotional bond with was Heiwajima Shizuo.

"I suppose even I can surprise myself sometimes!" Izaya tittered gleefully, leaning back in his chair and swiveling around a few times, his eyes barely catching sight of the lights that were just coming on in the skyline of Shinjuku as the nightlife awakened.

Jumping out of his chair and bounding across the room, Izaya twirled in a small circle and danced over to his coffee table where his untouched game board waited.

"The world is just too much fun; humans never fail to entertain me! Even myself," giggled the informant, "I love, love, _love_ humans!"

"Or…" he murmured darkly, an amused smirk curling the corners of his lips as he shuffled around in the drawer under the table for his game pieces, "Taking my recent revelation into account should I say I _hate_ humans?"

With another fit of hardly-sane laughter, Izaya began to place his pieces on the board with care.

"And my stupid, little Shizu-chan. The personification of violence who so absurdly claims to be a pacifist…" spoke Izaya softly as he rest his finger on the last piece he had placed, a white king from his chess set.

"Shall I claim to _love_ you now?"

The small informant sat back against the seat of his sofa as he examined his new set-up, chin resting on his hand, with a pleased look on his face, his brown eyes glittering with excitement.

"Well, I'm not going to go down alone, Shizu-chan! You can't get the best of me!" declared Izaya as he laughed once more at some inside joke and leapt to his feet.

All around the white king sitting at one end of the board was an assortment of various shogi and checkers pieces. And, completely alone – how appropriate, Izaya thought with a grin – sat the kingpin of the whole set-up, the black king.

After two months of utter boredom and disinterest, Izaya could once more think those satisfying words he hadn't even thought to miss.

_Let the game begin, Shizu-chan._

_

* * *

_**Izaya in love is just as scary and crazy as normal Izaya, I suppose... o_o; A-anyway! Now the main plot has been introduced and things are going to get _very_ interesting x)  
**

**Also, I should mention that I think chapter four is going to be a little late P: Probably some time in the middle of next week... I completely spaced that Birth By Sleep is coming out tomorrow ^ ^; WOOPS. So I'll be working my way through that ASAP while I juggle working on chapter four.**

**As always, review if you'd like, if not, that's cool, too :D (though I'd really like some reviews; they kind of sort of make my day). And with that, I will see you cool cats next week~!  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm actually surprised I managed to get this chapter done as quickly as I did :) I was worried BBS would distract me, but... I actually have just enough schoolwork that I don't have time to game, but I have time to write. Which I guess is better XD;; Not much to say since I'm falling asleep on my keyboard here, but this is the last chapter before the Shizaya REALLY STARTS GOIN' DOWN. Prepare yourselves!**

**Thanks again to my wonderful beta, _pssty_! Aaaand... I do not own Durarara!**

**Also, thanks so much for all of the nice reviews and alerts/favorites! ;o; THEY MAKE MY HEART SING.  
**

* * *

_Hunger, cold and empty, clawed at Izaya's stomach. The teenage boy weakly raised his head as he heard the sound of soft footsteps stop outside of his door; the door he was slumped against._

_ "Mom?" he called softly._

_ For a long moment, there was no reply, and Izaya figured that his mother must have walked off, but a squeaky floorboard close to his door gave her away._

_ "Sweetie, how are you?" asked his mother in response, her voice timid._

What a foolish question.

_Izaya caught himself scowling. How was he? He had been stupidly concerned about his mother, so he had finally come home for once instead of going to an acquaintance's house after school. All his concern had earned him three days locked up in his room, which his father had apparently turned into something of a jail cell during Izaya's absence._

_ And all the woman bothered to say to him after _threedays_ of neglect was 'How are you'?_

_ "Hungry, I guess," he muttered._

_ He could almost hear his mother biting her lip in regret._

_ "You know I'd get you something if I could, darling, but-"_

_ "Dad," Izaya finished for her dryly, allowing his eyes to slip closed as he pressed the side of his face against the cool surface of the door._

_ "Izaya, sweetheart, we're doing it for your own good. We can't have you running around the city all day and night. It's too dangerous…"_

Dangerous? Izaya was one of the most dangerous things that had ever happened to Ikebukuro; he had nothing to fear in _his_ city.

_"We have to do this," she continued, "We love you, Izaya."_

Haha, of course. That "love" again. The one that had been responsible for so much of Izaya's past misery. But it was all done in the name of _love_, wasn't it?

_Izaya sighed in defeat and pressed his lips together into a thin little line, waiting in absolute silence until-_

_ "Izaya?" his mom pursued timidly._

_ She waited a few seconds before sighing in disappointment and walking off. It would have been so easy for her to let Izaya out, so easy to simply unlock his door and let him run away._

_ But her "love" for him would never let her do that; she knew that if he got away this time, he wouldn't be coming back. Izaya chuckled dryly and opened his eyes to stare at the clock at his bedside._

_ 14:00. Had he not made the mistake of returning home, Izaya would be getting out of school soon – if he hadn't already decided to leave early, that is. He would have gotten to see the boys he considered his friends today. Shinra, Kadota… Even that monster Shizuo._

_ Shizu-chan… Why did his heart lurch when he thought of the blond? It was probably the food deprivation that was making Izaya's thoughts stranger and stranger._

_ He couldn't actually _want_ to see Shizuo!_

_ Groaning as yet another grumble came from his stomach, Izaya lay down on the floor, staring at his barred window listlessly. Someone had to have noticed he had gone missing, right? They'd come looking for him. And, as if on cue, a furious cry sounded just behind Izaya's window._

_ "That fucking louse thinks he can hide from me? I'll _kill_ him!"_

_ Another voice, harder to hear, said something worriedly, and Izaya could barely hear Shizuo's frustrated snort._

_ "Okay, okay, Shinra. But if he's not actually sick, I'll break every bone in his worthless body."_

_ Izaya could barely make out the shadow of someone coming closer to his window and reaching up to grip the bars over it tightly. The pained squeal of metal being torn and pulled apart was deafening compared to the previous silence, and Izaya's heart began to beat frantically as – overhead in his parents' room – he heard his father's angry voice._

_ Sunlight flooded the room and Shizuo's angry face suddenly came into view as the window was pulled open. Behind him stood Dotachin and Shinra, the doctor-to-be's eyes wide as he saw Izaya._

_ "Flea…?" Shizuo began uncertainly._

_ Izaya only had a moment to register the concern on the brute's face before Shinra laughed anxiously and clambered through the window._

_ "See, Shizuo? He's just sick!" said Shinra as he crouched on the floor beside Izaya, giving the other boy a quick once over with his eyes._

_ Izaya caught his glance for a moment and grinned his appreciation weakly; Shinra, and only Shinra, knew about Izaya's parents, and Izaya wanted to keep it that way._

_ "Then what's he doing out of bed?" Kadota asked._

_ "We'll worry about that later," Shinra replied quickly, no doubt able to hear Izaya's parents running down the stairs from where he was, "We should get him to my place."_

_ One of Shinra's hands grasped the back of Izaya's jacket as he hoisted the other boy to his feet, wrapping Izaya's arm over his shoulder and hurriedly dragging the slighter boy over to the window._

_ Before Shinra could even begin helping Izaya over the ledge of the window, Shizuo suddenly reached towards him, holding his arms out expectantly, a deep scowl on his face._

_ "Shizuo, what-"_

_ "Give him here, Shinra," muttered Shizuo, "It'll take forever for you to get to your house carrying that flea like that."_

_ Shinra, Kadota, and Izaya all exchanged a look of surprise. Was this_ their _Heiwajima Shizuo?_

_ "I don't think that's the best idea…" Shinra said, and Kadota looked like he was preparing to stop a fight if he needed to._

_ "I'm not going to kill a guy that can't even walk," growled Shizuo, losing his patience and pulling a frightened Izaya from Shinra's grip._

_ Izaya tried to squirm his way from the brute's arms, convinced that these might be his last seconds on earth, but Shizuo held him tightly and began walking – much to Shinra's relief – quickly down the small street._

_ "Stop wriggling, you goddamn flea," huffed Shizuo, "I've got more important things to be doing right now, so the faster I get you to Shinra's, the better."_

_ "Whatever. Just don't drop me," Izaya spat back, but his voice lacked its usual malice._

_ How could he be cruel when Shizuo was looking at him with such worried eyes? The idiot probably thought he was hiding his concern rather well, Izaya thought with a snort. And even as Izaya began to wonder at this strange, new emotion of Shizuo's, warmth began to creep through his veins._

_ Was it disgust?_

No, it had been…

_ Shinra, lagging behind the other three, glanced over his shoulder and just caught sight of Izaya's father bursting into the boy's room, his face contorted with rage as he saw the open window, before hurrying after his friends._

The soft pulse of light behind Izaya's eyelids broke the haze of sleep, and the informant sat up groggily, rubbing at his eyes.

It hadn't been disgust. It had been affection, hadn't it? Even then, Izaya had felt something for Shizuo.

"Ugh, I'm too tired for this," he muttered, opening his eyes and staring at the screen he had fallen asleep in front of.

What the hell had even brought up that memory anyway? Izaya had completely forgotten the incident, letting it fade into the recesses of his mind with the rest of his wonderful family memories.

Grumbling to himself, he turned his focus back on his screen. He had fallen asleep while reading an incredibly long list of names of residents in Ikebukuro. More specifically, residents who were in debt and would be receiving a visit from Tanaka Tom and his faithful bodyguard.

_Ah_. So that's what had caused Izaya to remember that particular incident, he realized, warmth rising in his cheeks. He had been plotting a way to make Shizuo's life a little easier and had decided to start with the man's job. Even if he didn't act like one, Shizuo was a pacifist. Izaya could only imagine the frustration and self-loathing the other man endured due to his inability to control his violence.

Namie had retrieved the list of Tom's "clientele" earlier that day, and Izaya had spent the last few hours finding the locations for each and when Tom planned on paying them a visit.

The only problem now was that Izaya had all of this information, but he wasn't quite sure how he wanted to go about his plan. He could visit these people himself before Tom and Shizuo got to them, but that was too risky. Someone would certainly mention him, and then Shizuo would think Izaya was up to something. Which he was. But it wasn't anything _bad_ this time.

Izaya giggled to himself and tapped his nails against the top of his desk in thought.

"Looks like I have my end but no means whatsoever…" he chuckled softly, "But, I suppose it will have to wait until tomorrow. I have to get my beauty sleep if this plan is going to work~!"

The informant leaned forward to turn off his monitor, his office brightly lit one moment and then cast in total darkness the next. Izaya's silly grin was the last thing to fade as he yawned tiredly and made his way to his room.

This new game was too exciting!

* * *

"…aya! IZAYA!"

Looking up from his work slowly, Izaya let an innocent smile work its way onto his lips.

"Yes, Namie?" he asked, fixing his assistant with the least conniving look he could muster.

For a fraction of a second, he saw one of Namie's eyebrows twitch in frustration and a little vein by her temple throb. The woman had every right to be irritated. She had, after all, been trying to get Izaya's attention for the better part of a minute. Meanwhile, Izaya had been doing his best to ignore her; he had more important things to focus on, after all.

"Oh, I'm so honored!" she muttered, "The great Orihara Izaya has finally given me his attention."

Turning back to the papers on his desk, Izaya's smile widened.

"If all you wanted to do was tell me how wonderful I am, Namie, it could have waited. After all, I-"

"Are you responsible for this?" the woman suddenly blurted as she shoved a newspaper in her employer's face.

Izaya craned his neck back a little so that the words weren't right up against his nose, and – as he began to read the article presented to him – his heart began to beat faster with excitement.

Some new gang called the Farewell Rogers had apparently been tormenting Ikebukuro for the past four weeks, hunting down any and all who questioned their reputation.

The information broker might have just found the means to his end.

Seeing the time it took Izaya to peruse the article, Namie knew she had probably been wrong in her assumption, that, or Izaya was a wonderful actor, which she knew he was.

"So this is the best Ikebukuro could come up with in two months?" Izaya said with a little disappointment, pouting childishly, "I guess it'll just have to do…"

That smirk of his tugged at the corner of his lips as his eyes glittered with joy.

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Namie~! This is just what I was looking for!" he giggled, bringing the article with him as he twirled in his chair and holding the thin paper up to the window so that the sunlight could glimmer through it.

"Beautiful!" he remarked, much too happy for Namie's liking.

"Just what you were looking for for _what_, exactly?" she questioned.

"Don't you worry about it," Izaya replied dismissively as he waved a hand over his shoulder at Namie, "It doesn't involve you, or even really the rest of Ikebukuro. This time it's just Shizu-chan and I."

"Heiwajima…?" said Namie, unable to hide her surprise. Her employer had never devoted much thought to Ikebukuro's strongest, and he certainly had never developed a plan solely for the other man.

Despite Izaya's reassurances – which really weren't worth that much anyway – Namie found herself feeling much more concerned than she had earlier when she had read the disturbing front page article.

Shaking her head, Namie decided she wouldn't bother Izaya about it until it became _her_ problem.

"Never mind, I really don't want to know," she decided, "Just keep me out of it."

Izaya twirled in his chair once more so he could face Namie, setting the article down gently before him.

"Oh, I will, Namie. I can't risk you ruining everything after all," Izaya said as he grabbed his fur-trimmed jacket from where it had hung on the back of his chair.

"Where are _you_ going?" snapped Namie irritably.

Izaya paused where he stood in front of the door and turned to grin impishly at his assistant.

"I have work to do, Namie," Izaya replied, "I don't have much else for you to do today, so if you'd clean the apartment and make dinner for when I get back later, that would be wonderful~"

Before Namie could protest or even throw a scathing retort at her boss, the door had shut behind Izaya, leaving Namie alone in the large apartment with a list of chores.

"That _asshole_," she growled angrily, her fists clenching at her sides.

And even from where she stood, she could hear him cackling all the way down the hallway.

* * *

**Fffff- and this is where Izaya just starts getting tooth-rottingly cute 8D Well... in his own way. Chapter 5 should be up around the same time next week, as Sunday seems to have turned into my official fanfic writing day ^o^ We'll see, though, since I should be finishing/getting a lot done on my second college app this weekend.**

**Anywho, thanks for reading! :) As always, review or don't, you're still awesome, reader! But reviews do make me super happy ;^; /loves reviews lots.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**I feel like the Queen of Herp Derp today 8D; I have NO idea how I completely missed updating last week; it's not like school's gotten super work-heavy or anything... I think I just really didn't like this chapter so much, so I got stuck. But my lovely beta, _pssty_, has made me feel much better about it, sooo... x)**

**Haha, you can all thank _KonspiracyKid _for my finally updating! She made me feel bad about reading and reviewing a bunch of stories when I hadn't updated mine in a little over a week XD;**

**Disclaimer: Haha. Nope. Not mine~!  
**

* * *

The sun was shining high over Ikebukuro, and a cheerful din of chatter and laughter had settled over the streets as the city's residents enjoyed the unseasonably cool day. Despite the blissful atmosphere that seemed to permeate every corner of the large city, one person was entirely unaffected.

Namely, one Heiwajima Shizuo.

As he followed behind Tom, Shizuo couldn't help the dark cloud that hung over him. His little brother was leaving the country soon for what would seem like forever, and there wasn't anything Shizuo could do about it. Hell, there wasn't even anyone he could blame like he had initially – and wrongly – assumed. Shizuo had been so sure that that goddamn flea was responsible; he thought Izaya was simply delving into some new and exciting way to ruin Shizuo's life, but now…

He hadn't been able to get the image of Izaya's face tense with confusion and fear out of his mind. It had been four days since Shizuo's "chat" with Izaya, and he hadn't seen the worthless louse since. Perhaps he had scared Izaya out of Ikebukuro for good?

Shizuo scowled as he felt his heart sink at the thought. He only felt bad because he had hurt the louse for something he hadn't even done; at least, that's what he kept telling himself. Either way, he needed to talk to Izaya and clear up any misunderstanding about their last encounter. Extending any show of human decency towards another might not be something Izaya would ever do for Shizuo (actually, not _might._ The flea _definitely_ wouldn't.), but Shizuo was the better man here; he was nothing like that manipulative bastard.

But first he had to find Izaya, and as the informant had been MIA for several days, Shizuo resigned himself to the fact that his explanation, apology, or whatever the hell it was would have to wait.

"So where is it we're headed anyway, Tom?" Shizuo asked suddenly, surprised by the sound of his own voice in the oddly quiet alleyway they were walking down.

"Park's hangout," his employer replied, "I've already given him several warnings, but now it's time for him to pay up."

The rare frustration in Tom's voice caused Shizuo's brow to furrow as he racked his brain for any recollection of a man named Park. The name didn't really sound familiar, but…

His hands suddenly balled into fists as he remembered a particularly rude Korean he and Tom had visited about two weeks ago. If this Park was the same guy, Shizuo's already shit day was about to get even worse.

"Shizuo…" Tom began with concern.

Shizuo glanced up from the spot on the cement he had been glaring furiously at and felt some of his anger vanish as he noticed the worried look in his employer's eyes.

"Don't get yourself worked up over nothing. You never know, he might be much more cooperative today," said Tom, tilting his head slightly as Shizuo looked away with a frown.

"Yeah, yeah…" returned Shizuo skeptically.

Tom sighed in defeat and continued down the alleyway, his bodyguard following right behind him in brooding silence.

* * *

Izaya could hardly contain the excitement bubbling in his chest as he raced along the rooftops after that familiar head of bleached-blond hair. He had spent the majority of the past two days setting up for this moment, and he wouldn't miss it for the world. The informant hadn't been this thrilled with one of his plots since well… two months ago when Ikebukuro was at war.

And now he was playing a completely different game that went by very different rules, and where much more was at stake.

Three stories below, Shizuo and Tom were getting closer to the goal Izaya had set up so nicely for them. Well, for Shizuo, anyway. Izaya really couldn't care less whether or not Tom was pleased by his handiwork.

Giggling softly to himself, Izaya decided it was time for him to get a front row seat while he still could and proceeded to hop as silently as possible down the nearest fire escape. He couldn't give himself away, after all. That could ruin his whole plan!

With a very soft tap as the soles of his shoes hit the pavement, Izaya landed behind the wall of a building just one over from where Tom and Shizuo now stood. His heart hammered in his chest, but not from fear. Izaya was giddier than a child let loose in a candy store. Sure, being found out would complicate his plan, but that would also make it more interesting. And, with Shizuo, Izaya could certainly expect the unexpected.

All Izaya could do know was keep on his toes and watch the scene before him carefully.

* * *

Whatever Shizuo had been expecting from his and Tom's pleasant Korean friend, it certainly hadn't been _this._

Tom had knocked politely on the large door of Park's small back alley garage hideout only to receive no answer. The debt collector had only been able to knock once more before his bodyguard had angrily yelled out to the unresponsive men hiding inside.

Despite Shizuo's various colorful threats regarding not only what he would do to the flimsy metal door standing between him and Park but what he would do to the men once he got inside, no response – not even a cry of terror – came from the shady little building.

Just before the bodyguard's foot promptly met the door, Tom placed a hand on his shoulder and pointed down at the handle.

Peculiarity number one: the lock that had been firmly in place on their last visit lay broken on the pavement.

Not ones to pass up a stroke of good fortune, Tom and Shizuo threw the door open, glad that at least their job had been made a little bit easier.

However…

Peculiarity number two was more disconcerting than number one had been.

"Holy-" Shizuo began under his breath, reaching into his pocket hastily for a cigarette.

"What happened _here_?" asked Tom, his eyes open wide in surprise.

The compact room of the garage had been completely and utterly trashed. Papers were scattered all over the floor along with Styrofoam boxes half full of food and crushed soda cans. Just as Shizuo noticed the dark red splatters that seemed to cover everything in sight, a feeble groan came from behind the pool table that sat in the very center of the garage.

Tom made to take a step forward, but Shizuo put up a hand to stop him.

"I'll check it out," said Shizuo quickly, chewing on the end of his cigarette in thought.

Whoever had done this might still be nearby.

Stepping around the pool table, Shizuo saw a man lying on the floor who might or might not have been Park; he honestly couldn't tell with all of the blood that was caked on the man's swollen face.

"Would you like to tell me what happened here?" questioned Shizuo as gently as he could. His day was already bad enough without him having to play crime investigator.

The broken man on the floor groaned again and attempted to sit up. His frightened eyes met Shizuo's just as a wet cough made its way out of his throat and more blood spattered on the floor around him as he clutched at his stomach.

"J-just…" he gasped softly, breaths coming it in unsteady wheezes, "take it… and… go…!"

Shizuo was about to ask what the hell it was he was supposed to be taking when he noticed the man's eyes flickering pitifully towards the corner of the room.

The bodyguard followed his gaze only to be met with a sight that made his day that much worse.

Over a plain wooden desk towards the front of the room – and still dripping – was the dark green symbol with which the whole of Ikebukuro had become increasingly familiar during the past few weeks.

The fucking Ta-ta-for-fucking-now Jimmys or whatever they called themselves had struck again.

Peculiarity number three, however, was much better for Shizuo's rapidly declining mood than anything else had been that entire day.

"Shizuo, what did he say…? Tom questioned uneasily as a tiny grin began to tug at the corners of Shizuo's lips.

"It was those punks again," replied Shizuo as he strolled cheerfully over towards the desk.

Noticing what it was that had caught his bodyguard's attention, Tom cast his wary glance around the garage and outside alleyway once more. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched, and this strange turn of events was doing nothing for his nerves.

"Don't you think this is a little suspicious?" asked Tom.

Shizuo's minuscule grin had blossomed into an all out smile as he reached the desk and began sifting through safe underneath it that had been left wide open, his fingers rapidly counting out the bills that lay inside.

"Suspicious or not, Tom, this definitely made our job easier," Shizuo chuckled.

He had been worried that he might have to hurt someone today if Park insisted on being as stubborn and poorly-mannered as he had on their past visits. Not that he wouldn't have enjoyed finally getting to hit the smug con-artist, but this way Shizuo didn't have to lose any control over himself.

Tom had been right. Park _was_ more cooperative today!

* * *

From where Izaya now stood hidden just behind the corner of a rundown building, he could see everything perfectly. And why wouldn't he? He had planned every minute detail about this scene himself.

The only thing he wished he could have changed was the irritating presence that was Shizuo's employer. Scowling, Izaya edged further back into the shadows as Tom once more scanned the area with that suspicious glare of his. Since he and Shizuo had arrived at the garage, Tom had looked around the alleyway more times than Izaya could count; the informant had the sneaking suspicion that Tom knew someone was watching them. It was almost as if the other man was _trying_ to ruin Izaya's fun!

But, really, Izaya could only care so much about Tanaka as Shizuo neared the safe. The safe which had so conveniently been left wide open for discovery, thought Izaya to himself with a smirk.

His pulse began to quicken as the tiny upturn of Shizuo's lips grew into a cheerful grin as he replied to something his employer had said to him. A moment later, the impish grin faded, and Izaya had to stop himself from laughed gleefully as he finally saw exactly what he had come for.

Shizuo's smirk had been replaced by a gentle, genuine smile, his warm eyes glimmering with satisfaction and relief as he counted out the money he had for once been able to acquire without having to use any of his brutish strength: the brutish strength Izaya knew Shizuo hated so much.

The sun overhead cast a soft glow on the bodyguard, causing his smile to seem all the more brilliant, and Izaya felt an unfamiliar warmth run through his veins as he gradually began to mimic Shizuo's calm expression. He felt like a thousand butterflies had been trapped in his chest and slightly dizzy, but Izaya couldn't look away from something he had previously only seen before it was replaced by a look of infinite rage: Shizuo's smile was addicting.

Leaning his face against the cool surface of the building he hid behind, Izaya let out a soft sigh. Was this what all of those humans he had been watching felt for one another as passed him by, too distracted by the high they got from being around each other to notice the frustrated look he had been sending their way? Was this warm, tingling feeling spreading throughout his body the very same thing that caused all of those couples to smile so freely around each other while holding hands?

If so, he supposed he could forgive his humans for their strange behavior; this strange feeling could become addicting.

"You don't look like such a monster when you're like this, Shizu-chan…" Izaya whispered softly to himself, feeling another surge of what must have been affection rise in his chest as he watched Shizuo speaking animatedly to Tom, a smile still on his lips.

"In fact, I might even go so far as to say you look almost _human_," the informant chuckled.

His voice must have been just a little too loud that time, for another pair of eyes suddenly locked onto Izaya's hiding spot.

Biting his lip nervously, Izaya felt all of that addicting warmth leave his body so quickly that he could hardly remember it being there in the first place. His breath caught in his throat, and he stood as still as he could, hoping, _hoping_…

Tom's eyes narrowed as he peered into the shadows, ignoring the cheerful ramblings of his employee as he tried to see who the hell that whispering had come from; was it the same person he had felt watching them the entire time?

An eternity – that was probably only a matter of seconds – passed before a victorious smirk suddenly spread across Tom's face, the formerly happy sunshine glittering off of his glasses mischievously as he slowly, oh so slowly, turned to Shizuo and said something under his breath.

Izaya glanced around the tight alleyway, heart beating rapidly in his chest now as he considered his options. He could stay where he was and hope that Shizuo – ignorant to Izaya's newly found motive for following him around – would spare him, or he could take his chances and make a run for it.

The informant didn't have any time to weigh his pros and cons as Shizuo began storming over towards the area Tom had pointed out to him; his happy expression a thing of the past. No matter what sort of life-changing revelations Izaya might have had about his feelings towards the bodyguard, there was only one thing his mind was thinking as Shizuo grew nearer and nearer with violence in his eyes.

_RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!_

So Izaya did just that, bolting from his now defunct hiding spot into the sunlight and right into Shizuo's line of sight.

"Izaya!" exclaimed Shizuo in surprise.

And Izaya could have sworn that Shizuo's tone held none of the anger he had been expecting, that maybe it even sounded _pleased_. But fuck if he was going to stand around and consider whether or not Shizuo was actually planning on killing him today. After their last encounter, Izaya didn't want to see Shizuo face-to-face until more of the pieces to his game had been set in place. Right now, it was way too risky.

There was certainly no way Izaya could win his abstract little game if he became a broken pile of flesh and blood in some shady alleyway.

Therefore, in the name of future victory and survival, Izaya ignored the cries from the bodyguard behind him and focused on getting far away from the danger zone as quickly as his legs could carry him.

* * *

"Izaya!"

Shizuo's anger at the mysterious person who had been spying on him and Tom was forgotten, as the person appeared to be exactly the man he had been hoping to see.

His relief at finally finding Izaya was short-lived, though, as – wide-eyed and terrified – Izaya sprinted away from him.

"Fucking cowardly louse!" yelled Shizuo angrily, taking off after the informant; Tom could carry on without him. There weren't any other people in the area, just an annoying _flea._

Shizuo refused to lose sight of Izaya. He had been waiting for even a glimpse of the smaller man for days so he could fucking _apologize_ to the bastard, and Izaya was trying to run away?

Shizuo wouldn't stand for it!

Though Izaya darted down narrow, winding alleyways and scaled building after building, that ridiculous jacket of his acted like a red flag for Shizuo, catching his attention just when the bodyguard thought he might have lost his quarry.

"Izaya!" Shizuo tried again as the informant executed a particularly difficult maneuver that had Shizuo scrambling quickly over a wall just to keep Izaya in sight.

"Stop running, Izaya! We need to talk!"

As expected, his words had no effect on the other man. Actually, it looked like Izaya had started running even _faster_ at the sound of Shizuo's voice.

"DON'T IGNORE ME, IZAYA-KUUUN!" roared Shizuo angrily, and before he realized what he was doing, he ripped a questionably stable ladder from the nearest fire escape, the miserable little ladder screeching in pain as it was torn from the building.

Maybe Izaya hadn't heard anything Shizuo had being yelling at him, but he _certainly_ heard the sound of the other man readying a weapon.

Finally, Izaya turned around to face Shizuo, his expression caught somewhere between irritation and horror, only to see the ladder that was now flying through the air straight towards him.

* * *

Well, fuck.

Izaya had been trying so hard to get away from Shizuo without fighting back, but now the caveman seemed to have lost his patience. In Izaya's defense, though, it's not like Shizuo could have really expected him to stop just because the bodyguard was convinced they "needed to talk" or whatever.

Taking a step back, Izaya felt his back brush up against the wall of the alleyway he had run down, and he blanched. He was stuck between a wall and rusty, airborne ladder.

After the dangerous life Izaya had lead thus far, what a way to go: impaled by a fixture intended for safety. It was almost poetic.

He closed his eyes tightly and braced for impact, body tensing at the thought of metal tearing into his flesh.

Maybe he hadn't been meant to win his best game yet after all…

* * *

**I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as my beta! ;~; OH, ALSO. I finished chapter 6 yesterday, so as soon as it's beta'd, I should be tossing it up here :) Probably Wednesday or tomorrow, we will see!**

**As always, thank so much for reading~! Review if you'd like, or don't, but reviews make my day super marvelous! :D HAVE A HAPPY MONDAY!  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh goodness! Not much to say today XD; I'm frantically trying to get this up before I have to leave for school, so I'm in a hurry! :O BUT, I will have you all know that this is my favorite chapter so far, so I hope you enjoy it! :D**

**Thanks so much for all of the wonderful reviews and alerts/favorites thus far, guys~ ;A; I really, really appreciate them!**

**Aaaand, disclaimer: PFFFFT. If I owned DRRR! I wouldn't have allowed the dub... ;o; Srsly. I'm so concerned.  
**

* * *

For a fraction of a second, Shizuo was certain that his heart had stopped.

He hadn't meant to get angry at Izaya; hell, he was supposed to be _apologizing_ to the goddamn flea! And not only had he snapped and hurled yet another innocent inanimate object at the informant, but the other man wasn't even dodging.

How the fuck was Shizuo supposed to straighten things out with the bastard if he let himself get killed?

"Izaya!" he shouted, and his voice – which he had meant to sound as frustrated as he felt – sounded just a bit too strained, a bit too worried.

* * *

Maybe it was the realization that he wasn't at all okay with dying so young, or maybe it was the thought of leaving a brilliant plan unfinished.

It could have even been the way Shizuo called his name so anxiously just now and the way Izaya's heart beat quickly in response.

Whatever it was, Izaya was glad that his body had decided to act of its own accord. He had dropped into a crouch at the last second; well, tried to drop into a crouch anyway.

As Izaya opened his eyes, which he had just squeezed shut moments ago, and glanced up, he could see what it was that had halted his motion.

The ladder Shizuo had thrown had gone right through the hood of Izaya's jacket before penetrating itself deeply into the brick wall. The informant let out a breath that sounded too shaky for his liking. Had he not moved, his _head_ would be where his hood was right now.

But things being as they were, Izaya was not dead, and his adrenaline rush was beginning to fade, leaving him with an entirely different list of present concerns.

Shizuo had finally caught up with him, panting heavily as he leaned forwards and placed his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

The bodyguard looked up, and Izaya felt his heart squeeze painfully as those concerned gray eyes met with his.

"Goddammit, flea, I wanted to talk to you," Shizuo growled angrily.

"Oh, rest assured, I heard you, Shizu-chan. And might I say, you're doing a wonderful job with this whole communication thing," commented Izaya with a smirk.

For a moment, Shizuo's brows furrowed in anger, and Izaya thought the other man might hit him; Izaya could deal with an angry, violent Shizuo. He didn't know how to handle this strange, calmer-than-normal Shizuo. So when Shizuo visibly relaxed, his anger replaced by thoughtfulness, Izaya's anxiety only grew.

Why did Shizuo have to pick now of all times to be completely unpredictable?

"You heard me, but you didn't stop, huh?" asked Shizuo, and Izaya could only roll his eyes.

"You idiot, of _course_ I didn't. I figured something like this would happen if I did," Izaya said, pointing up at the object of offense that kept him pinned to the wall.

Shizuo mumbled something under his breath, avoiding Izaya's gaze as he grasped the ladder and wrenched it out of the wall before tossing it aside.

"Eh~? What was that, Shizu-chan?" Izaya questioned innocently as he straightened up from his half crouch. Of course he had heard what Shizuo said – a life of gathering information had perfected his hearing – but it was in his nature to irritate the other man.

"I said I'm sorry, okay?" the bodyguard ground out, reaching into his pocket for another cigarette.

Izaya giggled at this, slipping out of his jacket as he spoke.

"Shizu-chan apologizing to _me_? My birthday must have come early this year!" laughed Izaya, as he carefully inspected the hood of his jacket, "However…"

His dark eyes betrayed a bit of his disappointment as he poked his fingers through the sizeable hole made by the ladder.

"Shizu-chan also ruined my favorite jacket," he sighed, raising his gaze to meet Shizuo's, "How _could_ you?"

Before Shizuo could respond with whatever frantic apologies it looked like he was about to splutter – and why the fuck he even cared, Izaya had no idea – Izaya reminded the bodyguard of why he had come chasing after him in the first place.

"So what on earth is it you wanted to talk to me about that's so important you felt the need to chase me through half of the city?" questioned the informant.

At the sudden serious question, Shizuo seemed to clam up, and he raised a hand to scratch at the back of his neck uneasily. His eyes were narrowed, and Izaya could tell that he was trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to say. Ordinarily, Izaya would have mocked the blond's inability to organize the thoughts floating around in his feeble mind, but he decided that demeaning another's intelligence was in fact not the best way to get them to like you.

"About the other day… when I attacked you…" began Shizuo nervously, and it was all Izaya could do to smother a fond smile.

That this man who chased after him with such reckless abandon, destroying an entire block just to catch him, could be so self-conscious and unsure was something Izaya should have found hilarious, but now he could only consider it endearing.

Shizuo raised his eyes to see what sort of a face Izaya was making, and the information broker nodded for him to continue, humming softly in the back of his throat to show he was listening.

"I was angry because I assumed you had done something I wasn't really sure you had done. I guess I just thought that you had gotten bored with your old methods for ruining my life…" – Izaya flinched at that, but if Shizuo noticed, he didn't say anything – "I didn't think to ask you about it, though, and now I'm not so sure that it actually _was_ you after all…" Shizuo scowled slightly as he trailed off, looking as though he was not at all pleased with what he was saying.

Taking a deep drag from his cigarette, Shizuo watched Izaya searchingly as he exhaled a pale cloud of smoke. Izaya wanted to speak, to ask Shizuo what the hell he was talking about, but he could tell that the bodyguard wasn't quite done yet.

"All I'm trying to say, Izaya, is that I hurt you for something I might have wrongly accused you of, and I apologize for that. You might be an asshole, but I'm no better if I blame you for every bad thing that happens to me."

Shizuo had probably been expecting Izaya to laugh at him, or to claim he really had done whatever horrible thing Shizuo thought he had, because the blond looked startled by Izaya's reaction.

"Out of curiosity, what is it you thought I had done, Shizu-chan?" asked Izaya as he picked absentmindedly at some loose fur on his jacket. He would have expected Shizuo to ask him about the occurrence _before_ apologizing to him rather than giving him the benefit of the doubt; but since Shizuo had been so generous to him, Izaya knew it wouldn't hurt to return the favorite by dispelling the former bartender's doubt.

A controlled fury smoldered in Shizuo's eyes as he stared at Izaya, all of his previous uncertainty having returned. Despite what Shizuo had said, he still harbored the lingering suspicion that Izaya was guilty.

"Izaya, are you responsible for Kasuka's contract with a British movie studio? He won't be coming back to Japan for two years, and it seemed suspicious because he's never had a job out of the country before, so-"

"So you assumed I had set it up," Izaya finished for him, frowning slightly.

"Was it so crazy for me to think you did?" growled Shizuo, "It's not like it'd be anything new for you."

Well excuse _him_! Here Izaya was, trying to be as nice to the brute as possible, and Shizuo was insulting him!

Izaya hesitated, caught between his desire to defend his character (not like there was much defense anyway, he had always been a complete dick to Shizuo) and the need for him to play his game flawlessly. His dedication to his game won out, and Izaya forced himself to relax.

"No, I suppose not," conceded Izaya with a shrug, "But I swear I had no part in whatever job your brother was offered, Shizu-chan. I'm actually not surprised that a foreign studio has finally hired him, he _is_ a superb actor after all. Besides, if I _really_ wanted to piss you off, I'd do something to ruin his career."

Izaya chuckled and smirked at the displeased face Shizuo made at his last line. And though normally Izaya so much as suggesting harming Kasuka in anyway would have sent Shizuo into a blind rage, the other man now merely looked relieved.

"Yeah, I guess that sounds about right," muttered Shizuo as he tossed his cigarette to the cement and ground it out with the heel of his shoe.

Nervous about what he might do or say if he stayed any longer, Izaya shifted his gaze about the alleyway, intent on seeking out the best means of escape.

"Can I go now, Shizu-chan? As much as I love having these _deep_ conversations with you, I'm a busy man."

Really, whether or not Shizuo said he could leave, Izaya was getting out of here.

"Yeah, I'm done here. Get the hell out of my sight, flea," Shizuo muttered, waving once of his hands dismissively at Izaya as he turned on his heel to head back to Tom.

Sighing with relief, Izaya began to head down the opposite end of the alleyway, planning on scaling the nearest fire escape and putting as much distance between himself and Shizuo.

Before he had taken more than three steps, a hand suddenly wrapped around his wrist tightly, and pulled him back.

"Izaya…"

Heat spread from the point of contact on Izaya's wrist through the rest of his body. The informant could feel his heart fluttering like a trapped bird in his ribcage, and he was pretty sure he might be blushing.

"_Yes_, Shizu-chan?" snapped Izaya a bit too sharply, and he instantly felt a pang of guilt.

It's not like Shizuo knew the effect his simple touch was having on Izaya.

There was a tense moment of silence, in which Izaya was sure Shizuo wanted him to at least turn around and look at him, but Izaya wouldn't risk it. Not with the way heat was rising to his face or the unguarded look he probably had in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," the blond whispered softly.

"Didn't we just go through this?" Izaya asked with a forced laugh.

"No, I meant about your jacket. I know you wear it all the fucking time, so-"

Izaya broke off the pitiful apology before it got any worse; was all of that guilt in the bodyguard's voice really because of a little tear in Izaya's clothing?

"Shizu-chan," began the informant with exasperation, "You _can't_ be serious. I'm pretty sure I ruin one of your outfits weekly."

Shizuo said nothing, but his grip on Izaya tightened just slightly. Shit, was the other man really getting that worked up about something so simple as-

_Oh._

Izaya supposed he could understand where Shizuo was coming from. Whenever Izaya destroyed Shizuo's clothing during one of their fights, the blond became enraged. But, if Izaya remembered correctly (and he most certainly did), that was because Shizuo's bartender outfits had been a gift from his brother. Izaya's jacket held no such sentimental value; he had bought it for himself on a whim one day when he was out in Shinjuku.

But it wasn't like Shizuo knew that.

"Shizu-chan…" murmured Izaya, finally chancing to look over his shoulder at the taller man.

Shizuo's eyes widened at whatever he saw in Izaya's expression, and the informant cursed silently to himself. He knew looking at Shizuo right now was a terrible idea. But the damage was already done, so it's not like there was much to do about it now.

"Don't worry about it. It's really no big deal," he assured Shizuo with a genuine smile.

Shizuo looked like he had been about to say something, his gray eyes still impossibly wide, but Izaya pulled his wrist from the bodyguard's grasp and ran for it, scaling the nearby fire escape before Shizuo could even open his mouth.

Though Izaya was certain Shizuo wasn't chasing him, he still sprinted across the rooftops of Ikebukuro, frantic to get as far away from the other man and the feelings he sparked within him.

His wrist still tingled from the aftereffects of Shizuo's touch, and a small, foolish part of Izaya's mind was urging him to turn around.

Cursing under his breath, Izaya lunged onto another rooftop and stifled the crazy thought.

If he weren't more careful, he could ruin everything.

* * *

"What the hell…" Shizuo groaned to himself as soon as Izaya was out of sight.

He ran one of his hands through his bleached hair tiredly. Maybe it had just been a really fucking long day, but once again, Shizuo was pretty sure he had seen something's in the flea's eyes that Izaya hadn't meant for him to see.

Those dark eyes, normally so cold and cruel, had held something in them that Shizuo could almost call affection.

_Affection? _The flea?

Izaya had been so close to him this time that Shizuo really couldn't brush it off as a trick of the light this time. And the gentle way Izaya had spoken to him right before disappearing over the wall of the now-lonely alleyway… Shit.

Fleas didn't have feelings!

But Shizuo wouldn't deny that he was pleasantly surprised about being able to carry on a completely civil conversation with the other man wherein no threats or punches were exchanged. It was probably the first real conversation Shizuo had had with anyone other than Tom in…

An embarrassingly long time.

_God_, and with fucking Orihara Izaya of all people!

Shizuo was determined to forget the matter entirely, and turned to go find Tom, but the bright glimmer of sunlight off of metal caught his attention.

Shizuo walked over to the strangely familiar-looking item on the ground where it lay underneath the fire escape and, as he bent to pick it up, realized why it was that it looked so goddamn familiar.

It was Izaya's flickblade, blade still safely concealed. The louse must have dropped it in his hurry to get away from Shizuo.

Turning the small weapon over in his hands, Shizuo scowled to himself as another inconsistency arose. Not only had Izaya been acting abnormally normal and polite (he had insulted Shizuo _once_, and that had been right after Shizuo had nearly killed him), but Shizuo just now noticed that he hadn't even drawn his knife.

Now why would that be?

Either Izaya had somehow forgotten he even carried a weapon – which was completely absurd – or he simply didn't _want_ to draw it on Shizuo.

"Fuck, flea," groaned Shizuo, pinching at the bridge of his nose to stifle the pounding in his head, "You're not even here and you're givin' me a headache."

Izaya _could_ have hurt Shizuo today, but he hadn't, and the bodyguard really had no clue why. It's not like Izaya didn't have a reason after what happened last time Shizuo had chased him down.

And then he had spoken to Shizuo so _tenderly_.

If that didn't make Shizuo feel even more guilty about losing his patience and chucking a freaking ladder at him, then he didn't know what would. Izaya had looked so frightened, too…

"What kind of a louse lets me attack him and doesn't even fight back?" Shizuo grumbled.

He ran his index finger along the handle of the flickblade he held, drawing out the blade thoughtfully and examining it in the sunlight. This blade had cut into Shizuo's flesh countless times in the past several years; Hell, it was his first memory he had of the annoying flea.

Reaching into his pocket for another cigarette, Shizuo began to make his way back to his employer (who was probably wondering where the hell he had run off to).

Even as he grew nearer to where Tom was waiting, his gaze was still locked on the small blade.

"I guess I should return you to Izaya, huh?" he asked it.

At the thought of the louse, Shizuo felt something tug curiously at his heart, and he scowled in confusion.

Maybe Izaya wasn't the only one who had something wrong with him.

* * *

**I MIGHT ACTUALLY MAKE IT, YOU GUYS! 8D Anyhow! Stay tuned for chapter 7; I'm probably the most excited to write that one more so than I have been with any of the others, but I guess that's because it's the first chapter where things get... well, you'll see. (haha, no, no sex yet, though. Sorry XD It'll be worth it when I get to it, though! o/) Have a lovely Tuesday, guys! :)**

**As always, review if you want, or don't, but reviews make me hella happy! ^o^  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for being so late again, you guys :( I've been having college application drama all week (found out I probably can't go where I thought I'd be able to for this past year), so I've been a little slow with writing ;n; Because I'm a loserrr... Anyway, I hope this chapter is worth the wait! My beta definitely made me feel better about it XD;  
**

**Disclaimer: Yeah. Don't own DRRR!  
**

* * *

The box had been sitting on Izaya's desk for the better part of the morning, unopened, untouched, and – most importantly – unmarked. Though Izaya had a pretty good idea who had left the mysterious package on his doorstep the previous night, he knew better than to open curious little boxes.

Especially in his line of work.

It was seven o'clock, and Izaya only had half an hour remaining before Namie got there. If he wanted to open the box, he knew he should do so before his assistant arrived unless he wanted to answer a slew of probing questions. But if the box really did contain something dangerous, it would probably be better to wait until Namie came so that Izaya could have _her_ open it…

"Oh, to hell with it," Izaya grumbled as he tapped the top of the cardboard box, "You've been harassing me all morning, and I really can't wait any longer."

The informant dove one of his hands into the pocket of his jacket to grab his knife, and he paused – a sly grin working its way across his face – as his fingers reached the bottom of his empty pocket.

How could he have forgotten? He had "accidentally" left his flickblade behind the last time he had run into Shizuo. Though Izaya had always considered Shizuo to be a bit dense, he hoped the other man was at least smart enough to realize that Izaya hadn't pulled his knife on him once during their last encounter.

Grinning at his own genius, Izaya began rifling through one of the drawers under his desk, certain that he kept a pair of scissors somewhere.

As soon as he gripped the pair of blades, he returned to the box with an expression of mock sorrow on his face.

"I hope you can forgive me for this. As soon as I cut you open, there will cease to be anything intriguing about you, and you will once more be a plain, cardboard box," apologized the informant.

He paused in anticipation for a moment before plunging the scissors into the top of the box and tearing them along the feeble tape that held it closed.

Despite what Izaya had been expecting, his eyes still widened in disbelief as the contents of the package were revealed to him.

"Shizu-chan…" he breathed, a giddy smile beginning to tug at the corner of his lips.

As always, Shizuo had proved to be unpredictable.

* * *

Groups of friends enjoying another beautiful – albeit cloudy – day in Ikebukuro scrambled out of the way as quickly as they could as Heiwajima Shizuo stalked by. The bodyguard's pale eyes were downcast, his brows furrowed just slightly, and he wore a dark scowl. Today was his day off, so Tom wouldn't be there to stop Shizuo if he suddenly snapped, which – to the panicked onlookers – he looked dangerously close to doing.

Shizuo was oblivious to the frantic citizens around him, for once not angry or irritated, but lost in thought.

Had it been a good idea to leave that package (he refused to call it a gift) for Izaya, or had he just played right into the flea's hands?

And if he had, what the hell did the flea want from him?

If Izaya really did have some master plan involving Shizuo, then the blond was pretty sure it wasn't simply to guilt him into buying the goddamn flea new clothing.

A businessman walking near Shizuo gave a particularly unmanly squeak as Shizuo absentmindedly kicked a bottle cap down the street out of frustration.

And then there was the fact that Izaya hadn't even attempted to defend himself the last time he encountered Shizuo…

The flea could be initiating some sort of truce, Shizuo thought. Maybe their destructive fights had become too much for him, and he had decided that making Shizuo's life a living hell wasn't worth the hassle anymore.

"Tch, like hell," grumbled Shizuo half-heartedly, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Maybe, though, just maybe…

Could Izaya not be planning anything at all?

No matter what Shizuo knew about the scheming bastard, he couldn't forget the way the flea had looked at him last time they had spoken.

God, did that sound weird. If anyone had suggested even a week ago that Shizuo would one day hold a civil conversation with Orihara Izaya, he would have crushed them.

Not only had Shizuo spoken with Izaya, but he hadn't felt the overwhelming need to hit the other man repeatedly each time he opened his mouth. And it was all because of that weird look in the flea's dark eyes.

Izaya must have thought he was keeping his mask in place perfectly, or that Shizuo was a lot less observant than he was, because while he had been able to keep his expression relatively neutral as he had spoken with Shizuo, his eyes had given him away completely.

The louse had to be sick or something; Shizuo could think of no other explanation for that smitten look.

No one had ever looked at Shizuo with that sort of adoration before, and he couldn't believe that anyone would now. At twenty-five years of age, the bodyguard had never had someone look at him like he was something _important_ before.

Even if it was the flea of all people, Shizuo wasn't really in the position to be picky.

The beginnings of a faint smile were chased away as a dark cloud settled over the blond's thoughts.

No one…

Not even Kasuka had ever looked at him quite like _that_.

"Kasuka…" murmured Shizuo, suddenly remembering how little time he had left before his little brother left the country for who knew how long.

What had started as a wonderful day had been ruined in an instant.

* * *

Izaya smiled to himself and nuzzled his face against the soft material of his brand new jacket. Perhaps it wasn't something the informant would have picked out for himself, as it certainly wasn't the least bit threatening, what with its white fabric and bright pink buttons, but the fact that it was a gift from Shizuo canceled out any complaints Izaya might have.

Not to mention that he could smell the bitter scent of Shizuo's cigarettes on the jacket. If Izaya closed his eyes, he could almost imagine that Shizuo was in the room with him.

The informant let out a sigh that was half fawning and half frustration as the door at the other end of his office clicked open softly, announcing the arrival of Yagiri Namie.

Reluctantly, Izaya opened his eyes to the sight of his assistant, who appeared to be biting her lip in an attempt to hold in a fit of giggles.

Her gaze darted from Izaya to the stack of files waiting for her on the coffee table and back again.

Frowning slightly, Izaya ran his fingers along the reacquired flickblade in his pocket and rolled his eyes.

"In the interest of time, Namie, please just spit out whatever's on your mind. I'd rather not have you tittering about the office all day while I'm trying to work," said the informant, a bit too haughtily for his liking.

The erratic twitching of Namie's face grew into a malicious grin, and her eyes glimmered with amusement.

"It's just… You really do get more and more masculine every day, Izaya," the woman remarked, "Why the change in attire? Was your black, _fluffy_ jacket not intimidating enough for you anymore?"

Izaya crossed his arms over his chest and held his chin up in mock offense, huffing under his breath.

"I'll have you know that this was a gift from Shizu-chan. But perhaps you don't quite understand the concept, as the object of _your_ perverse affections seems wholly oblivious to your feelings. Ne, Namie~?" he replied.

Namie's eyes widened, and she was pretty sure that her jaw would have hit the floor if it could. As things were, however, she settled with a sharp intake of breath.

Insult aside, had her boss just admitted to harboring affection for _Heiwajima Shizuo?_

Perhaps she really was still sleeping, because this was a dream come true. Izaya had held her complex for Seiji over her head for far too long, it was about time she had some dirt on him.

Izaya scowled as he watched his secretary absorb this new information. If she was going to react so calmly, then there really hadn't been much point in intimating his feelings for Shizuo to her, an where was the fun in that?

Namie didn't disappoint, though, as she suddenly burst into a fit of sharp laughter, hands clutching her sides.

"Y-you and Heiwajima-san?" Namie managed to question between her laughter, "You have to be _kidding_ me!"

Izaya was about to respond with what he was certain was a brilliant comeback to shut Namie up, but the woman interrupted him before he could speak.

"There's no way Heiwajima-san knows about whatever sick feelings you have for him. You might think that man's some sort of monster, but he'd certainly never accept someone like _you_, Izaya. And even if you weren't a complete freak, you'll always be Orihara Izaya to him," she said, wiping away a stray tear that had appeared during her laughter.

Silence was all that met Namie's words, and she chanced a look in her boss' direction, wondering if she had perhaps finally crossed the line.

What she saw made her day. Hell, Namie was pretty sure it made her _year._

Izaya had turned away from her, facing his computer with a peculiar look on his face. His eyes were tensed, and it looked to Namie as though his lips were quivering just slightly, debating whether or not frowning before her would be a good idea.

He stood without another word, striding past his surprised assistant and pausing just as he placed his hand on the doorknob of the office.

"When I get back, all of today's work better be done," muttered Izaya flatly before he left, slamming the door behind him.

Irritation flared in Namie's breast for a single moment as she realized how large of a workload Izaya had just left her with, but she remembered the look of what must have been the great Orihara Izaya's version of pain, and her joy instantly returned.

It had been worth it, decided Namie as she went to start on the piles of work Izaya had left her with, humming cheerfully to herself all the while.

* * *

Shizuo had really been hoping he'd be able to enjoy his day off peacefully. Sure, his mood had declined since he had woken up, but he wasn't about to let that ruin his plans to bask in the warm summer sun and revel in the sights and sounds of Ikebukuro.

So he was more than a little disappointed when he felt rage beginning to flow through his veins like ice, numbing him to nearly every sensation but the furious pounding of his heart and the trembling of his fists.

"Like, ohmygod! Are you serious?" a shrill female voice gasped not seven feet from where Shizuo now stood.

"Yeah," her friend replied, waving one of her hands at her companion, "I read it in a fan magazine last week. He won't be back for at least three years."

"No! How could Hanejima do this to us? I _love_ him!" the first girl nearly sobbed.

Though Shizuo was trying to do his best to control himself – grinding his teeth in frustration as he battled with his anger – he wasn't so sure he would win against his temper this time.

These stupid girls thought they _knew_ Kasuka? They thought their worlds would end without their beloved Hanejima Yuuhei?

How dare they pretend they knew him! They didn't really care about Kasuka!

"Movies just won't be the same without him! There aren't any actors more talented or beautiful than Hanejima," pouted one of the girls.

Shizuo swore he felt a vein near his temple pop, and a single feral growl managed to escape his throat as he glared daggers at the two teenage girls. Anger was beginning to overwhelm his common sense, and a terrified voice in the back of Shizuo's mind cried out in horror.

What was he _doing?_ He couldn't get angry at a couple of adolescent girls! He might be Heiwajima Shizuo, the strongest man in Ikebukuro, but he was still a gentleman! Shizuo wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he lost control and hurt these girls.

Hell, he'd probably kill them! They were so small compared to him…

"Now I'll _never_ be able to marry him…" the second girl said sadly, and Shizuo swore he saw a tear glimmering down her face, "No one will ever compare to him! He's totally the hottest guy I've ever seen, Haruka!"

Whatever her friend's reply was, Shizuo couldn't hear it over the roaring in his ears. His blood was pumping too quickly through his veins for him to focus now.

These girls thought they cared about Kasuka, thought they _loved_ him just because they thought he was attractive? They had no fucking right to be broken up about him leaving!

As Shizuo reached for the nearest projectile, an unfortunate trashcan, those around him seemed to finally notice his presence and began to scatter, leaving a clear line between him and the oblivious teenagers.

Even as Shizuo's fingers dug into the hot metal surface of the trashcan, he didn't register what it was he was about to do. A woman yelled in terror, and the two girls finally looked to see Heiwajima Shizuo aiming his unorthodox weapon for them, but Shizuo had already pulled his arms back, ready to send the trashcan flying.

It was too late for him to stop, and the girls looked too shocked to move. Shizuo was really going to kill two innocent kids just because–

"Eh? Shizu-chaaaaan~! Fancy seeing you here on such a beautiful day!"

The familiar, grating voice acted like a jolt of electricity to Shizuo's system, stunning him and stopping him in his tracks.

Whatever spell had hung over the tense scene was broken, and the girls ran, crying out in fear as their legs carried them quickly away from the monster of Ikebukuro.

And even though Shizuo knew he'd feel guilty later for what he had almost done, relief flooded his system as he let the trashcan drop to the ground.

He had never once thought he'd be as happy, as _grateful_ to hear the flea's voice as he was in that moment.

* * *

Namie's carefully aimed barbs had finally gotten to Izaya, he'd admit it. As much time as he spent harassing the woman, he had never stopped to consider that she might one day cross some unspoken line and give her employer a taste of his own medicine.

If Izaya believed in it, he supposed he'd say it was karma.

He should have expected that his clever little assistant would take the bait he had accidentally dangled before her. Izaya's main intention had been to make Namie jealous, not to make a stupid mistake like letting her know about his newly realized feelings for Shizu-chan.

Shit, he might as well have stood on his rooftop and yelled to all of Shinjuku that he loved Heiwajima Shizuo for all the damage Namie would be able to do with her new bit of information.

Not only would his reputation suffer if Namie decided to tell anyone else, but – _dammit_ – that wench's words had really hurt. Is this what she felt like every time Izaya harassed her for her brother complex?

_He'd certainly never accept someone like _you.

Ugh! Izaya refused to believe that the stinging in his eyes was due to anything other than the wind in his eyes. He was not going to _cry_ over something that foolish woman had said to him!

"I'll show you, Namie. I am not incapable of being loved," growled Izaya under his breath as he leapt onto yet another rooftop, moving closer and closer to who knew where.

Well, actually…

Now that Izaya stopped in his mad dash away from his apartment and examined the buildings around him, he saw that he was headed towards the heart of Ikebukuro. He hadn't meant to go straight towards the home of his biggest problem, but he supposed now that he was here he might as well work on his plan a little.

Perhaps a little progress would help Izaya forget about Namie's cruel comment. And if progress somehow didn't make the informant feel better, he knew the mere sight of his quarry would.

Izaya's heart fluttered in his chest at the thought, and he smiled. Even the mere anticipation of possibly feeling that high again made him giddy.

He took off across the familiar rooftops, sprinting and leaping across four story drops with reckless abandon as he looked for his unsuspecting prey.

It was a Saturday, so Shizuo wouldn't be working, but while that made things easier for Izaya in the "not having to deal with Tom" department, it would certainly make finding the monstrous blond more difficult.

Barely five minutes had passed before Izaya caught sight of a very familiar head of bleached hair in the crosswalk below.

He froze, reaching into his pocket for his knife nervously as he tried to decide on the best way to approach Shizuo. His mind was made up for him the moment he realized what exactly was going on down below.

Shizuo was holding an undoubtedly heavy trashcan over his head, his jaw tensed with fury as he aimed for his target: a pair of teenager girls frozen in horror as they gazed upon the man who could very well be their murderer.

No one looked like they were about to come to the girls' rescue, too shocked by the scene unfolding in front of them to act. The only one in the area who seemed to be thinking clearly was the informant watching it all happen from three stories up.

Heart pounding loudly in his ears, Izaya hardly heard his own voice call out to Shizuo.

* * *

**Ch. 8 will hopefully be up around the same time-ish next week as this one, since I really need to get cracking on more of my college applications :/ Ugh... Future, come baaaack~ OTL  
**

**The next chapter will be full of painfully fluffy Shizaya nonsense :D So keep your eyes peeled! As always, thank you for reading ^ ^ If you'd like to leave a review, that's cool. If not, that's cool, too, but reviews make me super-duper happy.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for disappearing, you guys :( I had a lot of application stuff hanging over my head, so I put the story on hold for a little so I could get my college applications done. I'm pretty much done with all of them now, though, so there shouldn't be anything else to make me miss so many updates! :) Anywho, this chapter isn't nearly as fluffy as I would have liked, but... such is life, I suppose. I hope you all enjoy it regardless! :D (P.S. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments and alerts/favorites! ;~; They make me really happy.)  
**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Still don't own DRRR!.  
**

* * *

Anger and gratitude warred within Shizuo for a long moment as he peered up at the informant several stories above him. He was so used to becoming enraged whenever he saw the flea that the reaction was practically reflexive. But Izaya had done Shizuo a favor this time, hadn't he?

Grinding his teeth, the bodyguard forced himself to relax.

Whether or not he was going to attack Izaya, Shizuo had still planned on replying as normally to the informant as he could with some short, rude remark.

"Yo-" Shizuo's jaw froze mid-word, still open, as he noticed the difference in Izaya's appearance.

Izaya was actually wearing the weird pink-and-white jacket Shizuo had found for him. _And_ he was wearing it out in public. Orihara Izaya, asshole extraordinaire and destroyer of lives, willingly wearing the fluffy white jacket his mortal enemy had given to him.

What the _fuck_ was wrong with Izaya?

While Shizuo had been staring, the informant had quickly made his way down from the rooftop to the street, and now stood not six feet from Shizuo, his hands in the pockets of his new coat and his customary, shit-eating smirk plastered on his face.

"So you've finally taken to harassing teenage girls, I see," Izaya giggled in that irritating way of his that normally made Shizuo's blood boil.

Normally, but not today for some reason.

"Personally, I think it's a bit more fun to watch their expressions of horror as I crush their cell phones, but to each his own I suppose," said the informant with a shrug.

"Why are you…" Shizuo began uncertainly, and Izaya's eyes widened at the sound of the bodyguard's voice.

"Hmm, Shizu-chan? 'Why am I…?'" he questioned, tilting his head slightly to the side.

Shizuo scowled, hating how calm the flea was. If things were like they usually were, the two of them would be halfway across the city by now, Shizuo pelting whatever he could after the goddamned informant while Izaya ran for his life.

And yet there they stood, just… talking. What did Shizuo want to ask anyway?

Why are you here? Why did you stop me? Why have you been acting so strange?

Unable to decide on what he wanted to know, Shizuo settled on:

"Why are you wearing that?" he finally asked, and instantly wished he could take back his words. Not only had the question been incredibly stupid, but the happy grin on Izaya's face was creeping him out!

"Oh, this?" chuckled Izaya as he pulled lightly on the sleeves, "Some stranger left it for me this morning. Rich or not, Shizu-chan, I still appreciate free things, and since you sort of ruined my old jacket, I decided I might as well wear this one. Besides, I think it's cute."

Shizuo's eyebrows twitched as his face tried to decide on the proper expression needed to show his shock; had Izaya really just called something _cute?_ And something Shizuo had picked out for him, no less.

Whatever Shizuo thought he should be feeling, it certainly wasn't pleasure.

Heat began to rise along the back of his neck, and Shizuo lit a cigarette in agitation as he averted his gaze from the flea.

Why should he care whether or not Orihara fucking Izaya liked a present – no, NO! It was definitely _not_ a present – Shizuo had gotten for him?

"It's really girly, flea," grumbled Shizuo derisively, but the insult sounded weak even to him.

"To each his own, Shizu-chan~" Izaya chuckled in return and then, before Shizuo could think of a decent reply to the informant, he quickly added, "You're off today, right?"

The unexpected question caused Shizuo to raise his eyebrows and look at the flea once more. He had detected something akin to nervousness in the question that caused him to examine Izaya a bit more carefully, taking in the tense figure of the informant. Izaya's hands were buried deep in the pockets of his coat and his eyes flickered from Shizuo to the ground and back again uncertainly as he did his best to hide his true emotions behind a mask of proud indifference.

A devilish smirk appeared on Shizuo's face and it was all he could do not to laugh. He had never seen Izaya act anything less than one hundred percent confident. He would have to take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity before it was gone.

"What's it to you?" he growled, and Izaya glared at him.

"I was only _wondering_, Shizu-chan, since I'm already headed there, and I really don't want you harming any of my beloved humans with that brutish strength of yours…" the informant paused, and Shizuo caught the slightest hint of frustration pass over the louse's face.

"If you would like to come to lunch with me," he finished softly.

Shizuo didn't even notice his cigarette fall from his mouth to the pavement.

_What?_

A variety of confused thoughts ran through the bodyguard's head, the loudest of them being that he needed to take Izaya to Shinra immediately, because something was very, very wrong with him and it might be contagious.

"W-what…?" Shizuo managed, staring wide-eyed at the smaller male.

Glowering, Izaya looked away from him, perhaps convinced that the motion would keep Shizuo from noticing the embarrassed blush that was working its way across Izaya's face and up to his ears.

"You. Me. Lunch. Don't make me repeat myself, Shizu-chan," Izaya ground out, and Shizuo noted with pleasure the way Izaya's shoulders hunched just slightly as he spoke.

It was so tempting to continue harassing the flea until he snapped, but something kept Shizuo from replying cruelly. The little louse just looked so goddamn _unsure_ of himself, he wouldn't feel right being mean when Izaya was acting so vulnerable.

"I guess, flea. I didn't really have any other plans for today anyway. You're paying, though," Shizuo conceded with an awkward shrug as he reached into his pocket for another cigarette.

Nearly giving himself whiplash, Izaya turned back to Shizuo, his dark eyes wide with shock as though he wasn't sure he had heard right. If Shizuo had known the informant could make such an entertaining face, he would have started being nice to him years ago.

"Well, c'mon, louse. I don't have all day," muttered Shizuo, jerking one of his thumbs in the direction of Russia Sushi.

Izaya's expression of surprise slowly gave way to something much gentler, and he grinned up at Shizuo. It wasn't his normal impish grin, but a genuinely happy smile that Shizuo couldn't help but mirror back at him. The blond was pretty sure his heart might have even skipped a beat. And though Shizuo had no idea why, he found himself feeling pleased that he had been the cause of such an honest expression of happiness on the informant's face.

Uncertainty completely forgotten, Izaya's eyes once more glimmered with confidence as he brushed by Shizuo and began walking towards the small restaurant down the street.

"Follow me then, Shizu-chan~!" giggled Izaya cheerfully.

* * *

Despite the happy face Izaya wore on the outside, he was angrily cursing himself in his mind as he led Shizuo down the sidewalk.

What the _hell_ was he thinking? He had meant to work on his personal project a bit, but he hadn't intended to do anything too drastic today. But before he could think twice, the unexpected invitation had tumbled out of his mouth, his chest tightening at the thought of leaving Shizuo so soon and desperate for a way to make him stay.

If Izaya weren't more careful, he really was going to ruin everything!

Due to his little slip up, though, he would get to spend more time with Shizuo.

A little smile crept across Izaya's lips. Just this once, he decided, he supposed he could forgive himself for such a careless mistake. As soon as the words had left his mouth, Izaya was sure Shizuo would strike him down – emotionally or physically – but as always, Shizuo had done the unexpected, and now the informant couldn't seem to get off this little high of his due to Shizuo's acceptance.

Strange, fuzzy feelings aside, this whole "love" thing really was troublesome. Izaya knew he would have to be more careful about his behavior around Shizuo in the future unless he wanted to destroy his whole plan.

Izaya sneaked a timid glance up at the behemoth of a man he walked beside only to feel himself blush for the second time that day.

Shizuo was staring down at him, his brows knitted together with thought just slightly as though he were trying to figure something out. Being so used to dealing with angry Shizuo and only angry Shizuo, Izaya wasn't certain how he should react to being scrutinized so carefully by the other man.

Before Izaya could open his mouth to ask the bodyguard what his problem was, the blond finally spoke up.

"Once we get inside, you're explaining to me what the hell's wrong with you, Izaya," said Shizuo gruffly.

Unable to stop the stupid grin that once more tugged at the corners of his lips at hearing himself referred to by Shizuo as something other than an insect, Izaya was surprised to see the way the bodyguard looked away quickly as though he had seen something he shouldn't have.

"There's nothing _wrong_ with me," Izaya replied, "But I'll gladly humor whatever game of twenty questions it is you'd like to play."

Izaya could practically feel the irritation rolling off of Shizuo in waves as the other man bit his cigarette against an angry retort. Really, though, love struck or not, Izaya would never pass up a chance to get under the ex-bartender's skin unless it stopped being fun.

Which, unfortunately for his lovely Shizu-chan, it hadn't yet, so too bad for him~

An imposing figure came into view as he and Shizuo drew closer to the small sushi restaurant, and Izaya instantly felt his body go cold.

How could he have forgotten about Simon? The informant wasn't ready for the Ikebukuro rumor mill to go crazy about him and Shizuo yet! But if he turned around now, Simon would only make more wild assumptions that Izaya would have to deal with.

More importantly, he wouldn't get to spend any extra time with Shizuo.

Expression as self-confident as ever, Izaya raised one of his arms in greeting to Simon as the massive Russian man noticed Ikebukuro's Most Destructive walking towards him.

"Ah! Izaya, Shizuo!" said Simon warmly as the two men stopped before him, "So good to see you two not fighting. This never happens! Are you finally coming to eat sushi as friends?"

Next to Izaya, Shizuo made a very un-Shizuo sort of gurgling noise in the back of his throat as he nearly choked on his cigarette.

"F-friends?" Shizuo spluttered, "Me 'n the flea? H-how…! You know us, Si-"

"Of course, Simon~ Shizu-chan and I are the best of friends!" interrupted the smaller male with a giggle that was so cheerful it was borderline psychotic.

"The hell, flea?" growled Shizuo, a vein near his temple pulsing dangerously.

It was a miracle that the bodyguard didn't snap when Izaya suddenly wrapped his arms around one of Shizuo's and began dragging him towards the restaurant. Shizuo jerked back, not enough to completely dislodge Izaya, but enough to make the informant lose his footing so that the only thing keeping him from hitting the ground was his grip on Shizuo.

"_Izaya-kunnn_…" Shizuo hissed dangerously.

Scowling, Izaya stood on his toes so that he could whisper into the blond's ear, his dark brown eyes narrowed in frustration.

"Unless you want to receive a lecture on the wonders of friendship, you idiot, I suggest you get moving," he threatened.

With one more furious look at Izaya, Shizuo began to storm the rest of the way towards the doors of Russia Sushi, but not before Simon and Izaya could share a brief exchange.

While Izaya was enjoying his close proximity to Shizuo, Simon chuckled a few words of Russian to the informant, his dark face contorted in amusement as Izaya stared back at him with wide eyes.

Izaya knew there was only one way to react to Simon's question without giving anything away.

At the price of further irritating Shizuo, Izaya burst into a fit of hysterical laughter, merely shaking his head at Simon and uttering one of the only Russian words Shizuo recognized.

"Net, Simon, net!" breathed Izaya in between giggles.

"What did he ask you?" Shizuo grumbled as the informant pushed him through the doors of the small sushi restaurant, away from an unconvinced Simon.

Izaya put on his best innocent face as he looked up at Shizuo.

"What did who ask me, Shizu-chan~?"

"Don't fuck with me, flea. Simon," growled Shizuo, wrenching his arm from Izaya's grasp.

Izaya would never admit that the loss of contact left him feeling a little hurt, even if he _had_ deserved it. A pout was dangerously close to appearing on his face, but he managed to cover it up with a sinister smirk.

"Let's sit down first, Shizu-chan. You're not going to like it."

* * *

Well, this was awkward.

The last time Shizuo could remember eating lunch with the goddamned flea was back when they were both still in high school. And even then, it had been forced, the two students having been dragged unceremoniously into Russia Sushi by Simon. Never had Shizuo ever considered that he might one day be sitting across the table from the flea _willingly._

Other than a very angry sounding "What the hell are you looking at?", no words had been exchanged between the two since about fifteen minutes ago when Izaya had practically shoved Shizuo into a booth towards the back of the restaurant. Actually, no words had been exchanged between them at all, since Shizuo hadn't even been talking to the flea, but rather to a particularly daring group of teenagers sitting nearby who had been staring at the two men since they had walked in together.

While Shizuo grappled for what he wanted to say Izaya, which of the millions of questions bouncing around his brain he wanted to ask first, Izaya was watching Shizuo calmly, his signature, smarmy little smirk back on his face.

At least one thing was still right in the world, decided Shizuo.

Swallowing what Shizuo was pretty sure was Izaya's twelfth piece of ootoro (where did the man _put_ all that food?), the informant rapped his fingers against the tabletop thoughtfully and cocked his head to the side.

"Alright, Shizu-chan, spit it out. You're going to give yourself a headache if you keep all of those thoughts bottled up," Izaya said, his voice not nearly as condescending as Shizuo would have liked, and the bodyguard swore the flea's eyes had even softened a bit.

Shizuo glared at Izaya half-heartedly, angrier about being forced to decide on his question than he was about Izaya's words.

"What did Simon say to you? You said I wouldn't like it," growled the blond.

The smaller man sitting across from him looked not at all surprised by the question, his smirk growing slightly. Damn it, was Shizuo getting predictable?

"Oh, that?" giggled Izaya, his dark eyes glimmering with mischief.

"He asked if we were on a date."

A long moment of silence stretched between the two, Izaya's smirk falling, and Shizuo completely unable to decide how to react. He was certain he was giving the flea a priceless look of blank horror, but he didn't really care.

How could Simon even think-?

Shizuo heard a stifled snicker from the booth behind him, and he considered punching the offending teenagers through the thin booth seat that separated them from Ikebukuro's Strongest, but he had more important matters to focus on.

Breathing deeply, Shizuo forced himself to calm down, making sure his tone was completely even as he replied.

"Well, are we?"

Now it was Izaya's turn to look surprised, his dark eyes widening.

"Why would-"

Shizuo didn't bother letting the flea finish, as the informant would probably only say something to distract Shizuo and lead him further away from the truth. He was going to find out what the fuck was wrong with the louse, and he was going to find out _now._

"You can't fault me for asking, Izaya," Shizuo began gruffly, "You've been acting really weird since that day I accused you of setting up Kasuka's new job. You could've killed me, but you didn't, and I want to know _why_, flea. You're acting stranger than normal, and I don't like it."

Izaya tensed, resting the side of his face against his fist and looking anywhere and everywhere but at Shizuo. He appeared understandably frustrated by such a direct question, but he was also worrying his bottom lip in a manner Shizuo would call nervous.

Haha, now that was rich. The flea, _nervous?_ This was exactly the odd behavior Shizuo had been talking about!

"Are you really complaining about _not_ being killed, Shizu-chan? Because if it bothers you that much, I can always rectify the situation," sneered Izaya, but Shizuo wouldn't have it.

"Just answer the question, you little shit," Shizuo growled.

Izaya sighed and muttered something under his breath that was likely far from flattering; Shizuo barely caught the world "Neanderthal".

"It's not like you're going to believe me anyway," Izaya snapped, finally making eye contact with the bodyguard again, "I didn't kill you when I had the chance because… because I didn't want to."

* * *

**I hope it was worth the wait ;~; Oh! Also, _hetare_ here on FFnet(_he-ta-re_ on dA) drew some REALLY CUTE Birds fanart, so you should definitely go check it out! :) I'm gonna go work on ch.9 now, so hopefully that'll be up relatively soon ^ ^ As always, comments make me super happy, but if you don't comment, that's okay, too!  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the wait, guys (again)! u_u; I've been frantically getting ready for the big Houston anime convention - Onicon - that I'm leaving for tomorrow. Haha, I'm going as a sort of femme!Psyche :D Anyhow, let the exciting (and rather lengthy) chapter commence! It's the last chapter before we get into some real Shizaya, so... enjoy? 8D;**

**P.S. Thank you all for such wonderful feedback on the last chapter ;u; I got more reviews and alerts on the last chapter than any other, and I was really, really thrilled. You guys are too sweet! :)  
**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own DRRR!, but I do have this tasty bag of Blow Pops!  
**

* * *

Internally, Izaya was screaming.

Anything, he could have said _anything_ but that! He could have easily lied and Shizuo would be none the wiser. Yet here he was, unable to take back the words that had just spilled out of his mouth.

Shizuo looked genuinely surprised for a moment before a bone-chilling smirk turned his expression into something a little more familiar to Izaya. A low chuckle rumbled from his throat, and Izaya considered running now and cutting his losses.

"Damn, I always knew you were a coward, flea," Shizuo remarked, pulling off his sunglasses to rub at his eyes wearily, "I suppose I shouldn't be complaining, though, since I'd be dead if you were more than just talk."

Angrily, Izaya deliberated between the two options he had just been given by Shizuo's insulting words. He could hide his true feelings and concede to being unable to kill a human (though Shizuo wasn't really human, was he?), or he could defend himself and risk the brute understanding what it was that was actually going on here.

Izaya decided to have faith in Shizuo's denseness. Chances were low that the bodyguard would think Izaya's actions were the product of anything more than his love for toying with others.

He certainly wouldn't think that Izaya was acting out of a love for _him._

"It's not that I _can't_, Shizu-chan. I could easily kill you myself, or I could have someone else do the deed for me, but I don't _want_ to," chuckled Izaya, pulling a piece of fatty tuna off of its rice bed and chewing on it thoughtfully.

"Bullshit," Shizuo grumbled, "The only reason you could have for not wanting to kill me is because you're planning something. I know you hate me as much as I hate you, and I definitely wouldn't pass up a chance to kill you, flea."

Izaya smirked brightly, and Shizuo's glare doubled in its intensity. The informant never would have thought Shizuo would walk into his hands so easily.

"Ahah, Shizu-chan~" Izaya giggled as he waggled one of his fingers at the blond as one would a naughty child, "You have the perfect opportunity to kill me right now, do you not? I don't think I would be able to get away quickly enough if you suddenly decided to reach out and break my neck. And it's not like anyone here would care or be able to stop you. So how is it that I continue to sit here alive and well?"

"I want answers," Shizuo replied simply with a shrug as he lit his third cigarette since the two had sat down.

"That could be, but then what is it that's stopping you at all other times? You know where I live, Shizu-chan, and even I – just like my wonderful humans – have to sleep. If you wanted to kill me as badly as you have lead me to believe you do, then you would have already done so," continued Izaya, loving the way Shizuo's eyebrows twitched just slightly in irritation.

"Unlike you, flea, I actually have a conscience. No matter how evil you are, I'm not gonna murder you in your sleep. 'Sides, we're not talking about me here, we're talking about _you_," Shizuo reminded him, "What the hell made you suddenly decide that you don't wanna kill me anymore?"

Frustrated that the ex-bartender had sensed Izaya's intent to lead the conversation astray from its original purpose, Izaya grasped for whatever words came to mind. At this point, he wasn't even trying to keep Shizuo from the truth, he just wanted to piss the other man off as much as he could before his secret was revealed.

"That's assuming I ever really wanted to kill you in the first place," said Izaya, "I have always found you to be a remarkably fascinating individual after all."

"Fascinating and unpredictable. You hate that you can't manipulate me like you manipulate everyone else, flea. If I died, your life would be a hell of a lot easier, so you have just as much reason to want to kill me as I have to kill you."

"I wouldn't go so far as to compare the two of us, Shizu-chan. My mind doesn't work like-"

Izaya – and the rest of the people in the restaurant – jolted as one of Shizuo's hands slammed down hard on the table, a little snap signifying that the table was nearly at its limit. All eyes were suddenly focused on the two men sitting in the back of the now-silent room.

The blond growled angrily and cast his narrowed gaze around the restaurant.

"Any of you got a problem with me?" he demanded.

Several pairs of eyes blinked at him in horror before the restaurant burst back into its regular din of chatter.

Izaya, however, was still staring at Shizuo like a deer in headlights.

"Sh-shizu-chan…?" he began uncertainly.

"Answer the goddamned question, Izaya!" Shizuo snarled, and Izaya could tell from the serious look on Shizuo's face that his time had run out.

He couldn't outright lie to Shizuo, the bodyguard would see right through it. All that was left was the truth.

Closing his eyes, Izaya quickly breathed an unintelligible string of words that he hoped would pacify the beast before him.

"Eh? Speak up, flea."

Izaya really couldn't believe Shizuo had been able to drive him to this point. But now that he was here, he might as well just spit it out and hope for the best, right?

Haha, hope was far too silly and fickle for someone like him.

"I _said_, Shizu-chan, that I realized Ikebukuro would be too quiet without you. And I'd be admittedly more lonely."

Silence was all that greeted Izaya's monumental statement, and Izaya opened his eyes slowly, afraid that he might see Shizuo with one of the surrounding booths hoisted over his head, prepared to crush the informant and put an end to his pitiful existence.

Shizuo, however, was just staring at him with that tense look on his face that Izaya had learned meant the blond was trying to figure something out.

"You'd be… lonely?" Shizuo repeated carefully, as though he might have heard wrong.

"Just think about it. If you're able to, that is," sighed Izaya in exasperation, "I've spent a little over a third of my life running from you. If one day there were suddenly no one chasing after me I'd be-"

"Thrilled! Wouldn't you be glad to know there was no one to mess with your plans?"

Izaya scowled slightly at the interruption, but when he focused on Shizuo's eyes – eyes he once thought to be so vacant but for the animalistic rage in their depths – he could see his own confusion and uncertainty reflected back at him.

It was understandable that Shizuo was so surprised to hear the man he had thought hated him all these years tell him that, no, he did not want to kill him. Hell, Izaya himself was still baffled by the whole situation.

"I would definitely be happy if I no longer had to worry about you interfering with my plans. However, it was only when my chance to finally kill you presented itself to me that I realized how boring that would get. Life would cease to be a challenge if I no longer had to allow for an outlier, some unanticipated variable, in my plots. In short, Shizu-chan, you make my life interesting, and I'd have to be a fool to get rid of you."

So there it was, everything Izaya had wanted to tell Shizuo had been laid out plainly before him. Well, everything he wanted to tell Shizuo for now.

He really had to stop getting ahead of himself.

All the informant cared about now was whether or not Shizuo would believe what he was saying, or if he was about to be hurled out the nearest window.

For the sake of his heart and his genius plan, Izaya hoped it wasn't the latter.

* * *

Were it not for the seriousness with which the flea was treating the situation, Shizuo would have laughed. The man Shizuo had thought to be the most complex and eccentric in all of Japan suffered from the very same problem Shizuo himself was now battling.

Loneliness.

It was too fitting that the good-for-nothing louse finally be brought down by such an everyday problem. But as much as Shizuo wanted to laugh at the smaller man, to harass him for such a basic problem, he couldn't.

After all, he had also been unable to conquer that empty feeling that settled in his chest when he came home to an empty apartment at the end of a long day.

Shizuo took a long drag from his cigarette as he examined the flea thoughtfully. From the way Izaya was focused so intently on him, as though the blond's next move could very well be his undoing, Shizuo didn't think it looked like the informant was up to anything.

But Orihara Izaya hadn't earned his reputation for being a tricky bastard for nothing.

"I see," Shizuo finally said at length, releasing a thick cloud of smoke as he sighed, "Loneliness, huh? I suppose even fleas can feel like the rest of us."

If this comment hurt Izaya, he didn't make any show of it, continuing to stare Shizuo down with those wide brown eyes of his as he unconsciously worried his lower lip.

"So what? You want like… a truce or something? As long as you don't fuck with me, I don't fuck with you?" asked the ex-bartender tentatively.

Haha, a truce with the flea? Shizuo could hardly believe the thought was crossing his mind, but…

It would be nice. The only time Shizuo really completely lost control these days was when he fought with Izaya; to not have to worry about losing himself to his anger like that anymore would be amazing.

The grin Izaya suddenly flashed at Shizuo was so unexpected that the bodyguard had to resist the urge to rub at his eyes furiously to see if he was dreaming. Seeing the informant honestly happy several times in the span of a few days was unnerving.

"I suppose, Shizu-chan. That's certainly more than I was hoping for," said Izaya.

Ignoring this slightly ambiguous comment that the flea had been hoping for anything at all, Shizuo extended his hand across the table to the surprised informant. It took Izaya a moment to get over his instinctual fear of getting too close to the bodyguard, but the smaller man eventually managed to grasp Shizuo's hand tightly in his own.

Shizuo's stomach did a peculiar flip as the flea's surprisingly warm palm made contact with his own. Maybe it was because of Izaya's cold-heartedness, but Shizuo had always assumed a man like Izaya would have cold skin. And, Shizuo thought to himself, the informant's hand was soft, pleasantly so.

He almost didn't want to let go.

"Ahhah… so civilized, Shizu-chan," chuckled Izaya under his breath.

Jolted back into reality, Shizuo freed his hand from the informant's grasp with a little more force than necessary, a gesture that wasn't unnoticed by Izaya if the impish smirk on his face was anything to go by.

"With any luck, flea," the blond muttered, trying to ignore the warmth that was rising to his cheeks, "We won't even run into each other from now on."

Izaya flinched slightly, and a hurt look passed over his face for a fraction of a second. Though he did his best to cover it up, bringing one of his hands up to brush some of his raven hair from his face, Shizuo had caught the expression.

"What, you don't want that?" he pursued, raising one of his eyebrows.

This day was just getting weirder and weirder. Fleas who didn't want to kill Shizuo, fleas who smiled more cutely than they had any right to, fleas who didn't want to _not_ see him… what the hell came next?

"Did you not hear anything I just said, you dense brute?" snapped Izaya.

Any other day, Shizuo would have gotten angry at the remark, but where he sat so close to the informant, he could tell it was just a mask. Izaya's attitude was his last line of defense.

Before Shizuo could embarrass himself by replying, Izaya continued.

"You make things fun, Shizu-chan. Or interesting at the very least, I suppose. The last thing I would want to do is isolate myself from such a source of excitement."

_Isolate._ That was the keyword here. It all came back to the louse's sense of loneliness.

It made sense, though, Shizuo considered while looking at Izaya. The other man might try to play it off, or act like it didn't matter to him, but the informant didn't have any friends. Even when he had hung out with Shinra, Kadota, and – to an extent – Shizuo back in their Raijin days, he had always distanced himself. But what the blond had previously thought was arrogance seemed much sadder now.

Did Orihara Izaya, self-proclaimed lover of mankind, have difficulty associating with his dear humans on a personal level?

"Not just a truce then," spoke Shizuo matter-of-factly, impressed with his ability to take this bizarre situation in stride, "But you wanna be friends."

Shizuo didn't bother asking when he knew it was true, and Izaya didn't bother denying it. It wasn't like Shizuo had anything to lose by making the fact known. He knew as well as Izaya that the two of them were very similar in one way: they were both completely, or nearly-completely, friendless.

Life had a sick sense of humor, Shizuo realized. It was as though the two had been designed to reach out to one another in their loneliness.

"Maybe not quite that close, Shizu-chan. I would appreciate being able to see you without having anything thrown at me is all," Izaya said with a nervous little shrug.

Shizuo figured that was a close to a "yes" as he was going to get.

"Whatever keeps you from ruining my life, lou- Izaya."

There was no time like the present for practicing this new being-nice-to-the-flea thing. Izaya caught the slip, though, and his uncertainty seemed to vanish in a puff of smoke.

"I won't disappoint you," stated Izaya, and Shizuo heard a promise in those words.

"Your ootoro's gonna get stale if you don't hurry up and eat it," the bodyguard remarked, finally shifting his gaze away from Izaya and back to his lunch, thus ending their serious conversation.

Of course, the informant then preceded to spend the rest of their meal together talking Shizuo's ear off about how fish, in fact, did not get _stale_, along with a variety of other topics Shizuo chose to tune out. He was content to simply hear Izaya prattle on cheerfully, his anxiety about their discussion a thing of the past.

* * *

"Give me your phone, Shizu-chan~!"

"Huh? What for?" grumbled Shizuo.

The bodyguard glanced over his shoulder to see Izaya holding his hand out expectantly, dark brown eyes determined. It had been a little over an hour since Shizuo had sat down to his surprisingly pleasant lunch with the flea, and he had been intent on getting home and thinking the insane events of the day through.

Just when he thought he'd be able to get away from the louse's confusing presence, Izaya was calling him back.

"Seriously, 'what for'?" Izaya giggled as Shizuo began to fish through one of his pockets for his outdated cell phone, "To give you my phone number of course! How else will you be able to contact me?"

"It's not like I don't know where you live," replied the blond, but he handed his phone over to the informant without a fight.

Izaya flipped the device open and quickly began to enter his information.

"Yes, but this way, Shizu-chan, you can call or text me at any and all hours of the day!"

The gleeful twinkle in Izaya's eyes that accompanied his words reminded Shizuo just how surreal this whole day had been. He was still expecting to suddenly snap awake; though he really wouldn't know what to make of things if he really _was_ dreaming about the flea.

"And why would I want to do that?" Shizuo growled, rolling his eyes and slipping his sunglasses back on against the bright Ikebukuro sun.

Izaya didn't grace the question with an answer, his focus somewhere else entirely as he continued to press buttons on the bodyguard's phone. Uneasy to have given the one device that held his personal information – well, a little bit of it anyway – to the informant, Shizuo craned his neck to see what the hell it was the flea was doing.

"Hey!" Izaya jumped with surprise at being caught, "What the hell are you doing, flea?"

"Sorry, I was just curious about what contacts Shizu-chan had in his phone. You can tell a lot about a person by knowing what sort of people they speak with," explained Izaya with that trademark smirk of his.

Shizuo merely checked to make sure the goddamn flea hadn't deleted any of his very, very few contacts before snapping his phone shut and placing it back in the safety of his pocket.

"Friends… acquaintances, whatever… or not, Izaya, I don't want you snooping around my personal business."

"Alright, alright~! But remember what I said about getting in touch with me whenever you want," Izaya laughed, "And… thank you for having lunch with me," the informant added, turning on his heel and waving one of his hands over his shoulder at Shizuo before the blond could reply.

Wondering what the hell had just happened between he and Izaya, why it made him smile to himself, and why Shizuo felt as though his whole day had improved, the blond began to make his way home, rather troubled by the fact that he was so untroubled by the day's events.

* * *

"Tadaima," called Shizuo tiredly into his empty apartment.

The sun had long since set by the time the bodyguard had finally arrived at his home, having taken his time to enjoy the abnormally calm evening. It had been nice to walk home without encountering any irritating people – _especially_ irritating fleas – on the way.

But the empty feeling that sunk into Shizuo's stomach the instant he closed the door behind him to the outside world chased away his contentedness. In the short amount of time Shizuo had spent with the louse, he had somehow forgotten the loneliness he had to return to at the end of the day.

How did Izaya do it? Though Shizuo was certain the informant was feeling the same disconnectedness with the world around him, Izaya still managed to put on a cheerful face. Shizuo wished he had the capability to at least lie to those around him if he could not lie to himself. A mental image of himself behind the very same modern desk Izaya worked at stopped all thoughts in this direction, and Shizuo laughed under his breath, rubbing at his temples wearily.

Too tired to bother eating or showering (that could wait until morning), Shizuo shuffled towards his bedroom, a meow from somewhere behind him and a soft tapping against the floor signifying that his uninvited guest was coming along.

* * *

_3:00AM_

Shizuo frowned as the blinding numbers on his alarm clock came into focus. If the clock was right, that meant he had been lying awake in his bed for somewhere around four hours.

Knocking the back of his skull against his headboard lightly, Shizuo groaned in frustration and fixed his eyes on a peculiar shape in the ceiling above him that he had been passively contemplating for the past half hour or so. He had yet to decide whether or not it looked more like a giraffe or more like an airplane…

It wasn't that the blond wasn't tired; he was exhausted. It was just that Shizuo's mind couldn't seem to keep quiet long enough for sleep to finally take him. Of course, this inability to fall asleep could be attributed to one being and one alone:

Orihara Izaya.

Ever since parting with the informant, Shizuo hadn't been able to think of anything else. He kept wondering "why?" about every little detail of their encounter. Izaya had explained his reasons well enough to Shizuo, and the bodyguard – strangely enough – found himself believing him, though why he would take the risk, he had no idea. That wasn't what Shizuo was hung up on.

What bothered Shizuo was the fact that he couldn't figure out what the catalyst for Izaya's finally approaching him was. The flea had always been lonely, that wasn't anything new. Just like Shizuo, Izaya had never been swimming in friends. While the blond's strength scared off any potential friends, Izaya's abrasive, proud personality tended to ward off anyone who might be insane enough to try to get close to him. Something had to have happened, had to have changed, to make Izaya speak with Shizuo so bluntly about his feelings.

Perhaps it had been that Raira kid's leaving, Kida Masaomi, and the end of Izaya's gang war that had pushed Izaya over the edge. Or maybe…

"Ugh, it's too late for this kind of shit," Shizuo grumbled to himself, rolling over on his side to face his alarm clock.

Illuminated only slightly by the faint glow of the clock was Shizuo's phone.

"I wonder if…" thought Shizuo aloud, sitting up and reaching over for his phone, narrowly avoiding brushing by and waking the cat sleeping curled up on the pillow beside him.

The screen of the phone cast the blond's face in a bright blue light as he scrolled down his list of contacts, stopping more out of surprise than out of finding what he was looking for.

Right there above "Kasuka" was a new name.

"Iza-chan!".

Shizuo's exhausted frown gave way to a smirk as he read the name and noticed the caller ID picture right beside it: a light pink heart. Well, wasn't that just too cute? It scared Shizuo that a tiny part of his mind actually agreed with the sarcastic comment.

Laughing a little too loudly, Shizuo promptly went to change "Iza-chan!" to the far more appropriate "Flea", but not before a pair of bright eyes opened beside him and the cat meowed in protest at being woken up so rudely by the light of the ex-bartender's screen.

"Sorry," said Shizuo, only half-concerned that he was genuinely apologizing to a cat.

The cat looked at Shizuo haughtily, and the bodyguard was struck with a brilliant, three AM inspiration.

"Iza-chan," he suddenly gasped, grinning down at the black cat.

That's who the arrogant little creature reminded him of.

"I guess you've finally gotta name, though I don't think the louse'd be too happy," chuckled Shizuo, taking the way the cat closed its eyes and went back to sleep as acceptance of its new title.

Glad that at least something good had come of his being awake so late, Shizuo returned his focus to the screen of his phone where he had opened a blank e-mail to send to the re-named "Flea".

Shizuo sat up in his bed for a good five minutes before he finally typed out the short message.

_[All hours of the day, huh?]_

The ex-bartender lay back down, setting his phone close to his face as he finally felt both his body and brain come to an agreement that yes, Shizuo was indeed very tired and he needed sleep.

Just before he finally drifted off to sleep, Shizuo felt the small device vibrate as his phone received an e-mail.

Well, damn. Either the flea couldn't sleep, too, or Izaya – as Shizuo had always suspected – didn't actually need to sleep. Hell, he probably lived off the misery of others, Shizuo thought to himself with a tired chuckle.

Shizuo flipped his phone open slowly, in disbelief not only that he had received a reply so soon, but that he had received a reply at all. His eyes skimmed the message before he snapped the phone shut once more and tossed it back onto his nightstand.

It wasn't even five minutes before Shizuo had fallen asleep with a faint smile on his face, his loneliness once more mysteriously fought off by Orihara Izaya. Even if the flea was a flea, Shizuo's natural born enemy, and they were connected only by phone for now, any friend was better than no friend.

_[Haha, do you doubt me? Whenever you want, Shizu-chan, though you really should be going to sleep now. Good night~! (^u^__)__ノシ__]_

_

* * *

_**/really has no intelligent comments to make right now.**

**Needless to say, I'm very excited for the next chapter, since we're finally getting into the meat of the story :) WOOOHOOO! Also, if any of you happen to be at Onicon and spot some small chick walking around in the coolest pink and white jacket _ever_, feel free to say hello!**

**As always, review or don't, but your reviews make my day a bajillion times better ;u;  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Say hello to the longest chapter yet, guys! 8D; I decided to go ahead and work on this story for my NaNoWriMo this year, so I've been flying through it lately... Ch.10 was actually supposed to be even longer (there was a specific scene I was working towards), but it was getting too long, so just consider ch.11 (which will hopefully be out at the end of the weekend) a sort of 10.5.**

**I THINK you all are really going to like this stretch from ch.10-12 (_especially_ 12... *u* fufufu~)... I've got some fun plans before a bit of angst sets in x)**

**As always, thanks to my lurvely beta _pssty_! Which reminds me; I finally completed my beta profile on here :) So if anyone's looking for a fast, thorough beta... message me! AND thanks to all of those who have alerted/favorited/reviewed this story ^ ^ Every time I see a new review, my heart does a little dance... Uh, anyway... to the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned DRRR!, I wouldn't have let JYB do Izaya's dub voice ;n; He seriously sounds like he's trying to seduce Shizuo, you guys... OTL  
**

* * *

_Cold._

_Snowflakes hit Izaya's face like needles as he pressed on against the high winds of the storm. It was freezing, and Izaya felt as though he had the entirety of Ikebukuro to himself. He probably did._

_After all, no one else had a reason like his to brave the violent weather._

_Izaya was finally running away from home. Part of the boy wondered at how he thought he could manage on his own; he had just entered high school after all. Another much louder part of Izaya's mind was marveling at why the hell he hadn't gotten out of there sooner._

_Shuddering, Izaya pulled his thin school jacket closer to his body. His eyes glanced up the long street, though he really couldn't be sure since he could scarcely see a foot in front of him. But if Izaya was right – and he almost always was – he was getting nearer to the high-end district of Ikebukuro._

_He paused for a moment in the light of a street lamp, appreciating the slight warmth it gave him. It occurred to him for a single moment that he had only two options: he could return home or he could freeze to death._

_Izaya chuckled softly to himself, that chuckle turning into a mad burst of laughter as the boy remembered why he had left his home in the first place._

_His father had been beating his mother, and Izaya had finally had enough. He had leapt in to help his mother, pulling the knife he had bought only a week prior from his pocket. Triumph had burned brightly through Izaya's veins when he had plunged the blade into his father's arm._

_And for a second, as Izaya had taken in the sight of his mother's wide eyes, he thought that everything would finally change. But his happiness was short-lived, as his mother had suddenly lunged at him, attacking Izaya so violently that his only chance had been to run._

_Now Izaya was out in the snow, completely and utterly alone._

"_What was I thinking? Running like this… I'm going to die out here!" he giggled._

_The first sharp release of breath made Izaya feel a million times lighter, and he knew it was simply the endorphins rushing to his brain, his own body working to make him believe he was happy right now, but he couldn't stop._

_Izaya threw his head back, icy snowflakes whipping at his face, and laughed beneath that warm street lamp until the back of his throat was raw with cold and forced laughter._

_The empty street no longer seemed as empty with the sound of his own cheerful voice echoing all around him, bounding off of the walls of surrounding buildings and perhaps the very darkness itself._

Why the fuck had he ever thought he needed anyone? All he needed-

_Izaya's shoulders shook as his giggling fit died down, and he bent forward, clutching at his chest as he tried to regain his breath. The cold air burned at his mouth with every intake of oxygen, but Izaya didn't care._

_He didn't care what happened to him now or later. All that mattered to him now was that he had gotten out of that hellhole!_

_Though it would probably help if he had somewhere to go, otherwise his victory would be very short-lived…_

"_Who do I know who would let me stay with them for a little while?" questioned Izaya out loud, glad that he had realized he didn't feel as alone if he could at least listen to the sound of his own voice._

_Slowly, Izaya fell back against the lamppost, sitting himself down in a far-from-comfortable pile of snow. The light flickered once, twice, before suddenly shutting off, and Izaya narrowed his eyes against the harsh darkness._

_Now that his only light source had been extinguished, Izaya could see the faint glow of headlights coming through the snow, and the rumbling of an engine could be heard over the shrill gales of wind._

"_Haha, what kind of a nutcase is out driving in this weather?"_

_And then, with an amused grin:_

"_But I suppose that makes me a nutcase, too! Whoever this mysterious driver is, they must be a kindred spirit~"_

_As the car came closer, Izaya's heart began to flutter in his chest._

_The car was slowing down._

_The teen attempted to make himself appear smaller, pulling his knees up to his chest and hoping that he might go unnoticed by the strange driver_

_Izaya had been having "wonderful" luck that evening, however, and he really hadn't expected it to run out on him now. Of course the car came to a standstill as it reached Izaya, its engine snapping and crackling in protest at the storm._

_Izaya looked up at the tinted passenger's window, his breath freezing into little crystals before his face._

_With an ominous squeak of glass against rubber, the window began to roll down with a labored slowness that made Izaya's mind race with panic even more._

_Anyone could be in that car; a murderer, a pervert, yakuza… Whoever was out in such weather with such an expensive car certainly wasn't any good._

_But then, who was Izaya to judge?_

_It was hard to see in the dark, but a faint light in the car outlined the face peering back at Izaya just enough so that the teen could discern some features of the man who could be either his savior or his killer._

_The man was dressed well. The white jacket of his suit practically glowed in the darkness, and his face had a roughness to it that suggested a hidden cruelty._

_Yakuza, Izaya decided._

"_You need some help, kid?" the man asked suspiciously, and Izaya knew there was more to that question that what the words suggested._

_Haha, did this man think he was in some sort of gang?_

"_No, sir," replied Izaya, already resenting whatever it was about this man that made him fearful enough to respect him._

_The car stalled in the snow, and Izaya heard the man's driver say something to him, but the man merely waved his hand dismissively. Though Izaya couldn't see clearly in the storm, he could feel the older man examining him carefully, and Izaya began to feel incredibly uneasy._

"_Get in," said the man gruffly._

All Izaya needed was himself. If he didn't look out for himself, then no one would.

_With one last thought of the life he was likely leaving behind forever – the parents who claimed to love him in the same breath they took as they hurt him, the friends he had never felt connected to – Izaya got to his feet._

Groaning, the informant clutched at his comforter, pulling it over his body and rolling over onto his side.

And promptly onto the floor.

"Ow… fuck," Izaya growled, propping himself up with one arm as he glanced back at his bed resentfully.

He couldn't have been sleeping for more than four hours. It was only fitting that Izaya's exhausted mind would replay a terrible memory for him the one night he had planned to get some sleep.

Two and a half weeks had passed since he and Shizuo's little "heart-to-heart", and things had only gotten more difficult for the young informant. Between his game with Shizuo, orchestrating the increasingly erratic Farewell Rogers for said game, and work, Izaya was struggling to take care of himself.

He had puppeteered all of Ikebukuro into a three-way gang war, and now he couldn't even handle one man. All of the stress was beginning to take its toll on Izaya's body, so much that he hadn't bothered to see or text Shizuo in the past few days.

Speaking of the brute…

Izaya reached back up onto his bed for his phone, certain he had left it somewhere near him before falling asleep. He pulled it before him with none of the usual excitement that accompanied the knowledge of possessing a new text from Shizuo.

He could only imagine the messages the older man had left him in the past few days.

Scrolling through the list of unread texts, Izaya caught himself smiling fondly. It hadn't even been long, but already their relationship had evolved into a casual sort of friendship. Things had been awkward at first, but after some time together, the two learned to relax around each other at least enough to enjoy themselves. The horrified looks they received when they walked around Ikebukuro together had even ceased, with the exception of those few who knew them personally.

And now Shizuo was _worried_ about him.

_[I haven't seen you round Bukuro lately, flea. Where are you?]_

Haha, the man was trying to pretend he didn't care much, but Izaya saw right through his act, even if it was only text.

_[You were right. It is really quiet around here when it's just one of us…]_

His texts lost their unconcerned air by day two of no contact with Izaya, and the informant giggled as he read the next set of messages.

_[Izaya, what the hell's up? Where are you? Are you gone for work or something?]_

_[You haven't called or texted me back. I know something's wrong.]_

_[Are you okay, Izaya? No one's seen you in a few days…]_

And then, at the very top of the list, the most recent message Shizuo had sent Izaya, was a suspiciously simple pair of words.

_[G'morning, Izaya.]_

The time stamp was from twenty minutes ago.

Raising an eyebrow at Shizuo's apparent loss of worry, Izaya typed back a tentative reply. What was going on in that confusing mind of Shizuo's? To act so concerned and then to suddenly not care at all… it was too weird.

If Shizuo were acting as he _should_, he would have already come storming to Shinjuku and busted down Izaya's door.

But instead he had chosen to send a simple, levelheaded message to the informant. It was so un-Shizuo that the informant really had no idea why he was surprised; leave it to Shizuo to be as unpredictable as possible when Izaya needed the confusion least.

_[Good morning.]_ Izaya typed back slowly, sending the message before setting his phone on the floor beside him and leaning his head back against the side of his bed.

He certainly couldn't go back to sleep after a haunting dream like that. The first time Izaya had met Shiki… the brunet still hadn't decided whether or not it was the best or worst day of his life.

The sudden buzz of his phone, accompanied by the obnoxiously peppy ring tone Izaya had chosen specifically for Shizuo, startled the informant and caused him to jump.

Why the hell was the brute calling him? Izaya had finally replied, hadn't he?

Swallowing harshly in anticipation of what it was the blond had to tell him, Izaya snatched his phone up, pressing the answer button and holding it to his ear.

"What?" he snapped, sounding a lot sharper than he had intended to.

"I'm coming over, flea. You better be home when I get there," Shizuo growled.

And then he hung up.

What the hell was Shizuo thinking? He couldn't just barge into Izaya's apartment and expect him to be there! For all the bodyguard knew, Izaya very well could be out on business, and Shizuo would accomplish nothing more than possibly scaring Namie.

Fortunately for the informant, he didn't have to deal with his secretary today, though it would have been nice to have her around if Shizuo was coming over in a rage. He could have used her as a human shield.

Sighing in frustration, the brunet forced himself to his feet, deciding he might as well be showered and properly dressed if Shizuo was coming over. Leave it to the monster to decide to come over when Izaya was at his moodiest and most exhausted.

What a day this was turning out to be.

* * *

Water was still dripping down Izaya's skin when he heard a series of short, impatient raps at his door. He glared at himself in the mirror, wishing Shizuo were already there so he could direct his venomous look at the blond instead. Finishing toweling off his hair, Izaya stumbled out of his bathroom hurriedly as he slipped into the dark red shirt he had picked out for himself.

Another series of knocks, harsher this time, echoed loudly throughout the spacious apartment.

"Hold on!" Izaya yelled in frustration to the man in the hallway, "I don't need you breaking my door down."

A grumbled curse came from the other side of the door, but Shizuo ceased his angry knocking.

Izaya inched the door of his apartment open just as he finished buckling his belt, his irritation only magnifying at having to get ready so quickly because of a man who knew nothing about etiquette. Honestly, who the hell invited themselves over to someone else's home?

Izaya's irritation washed away as soon as he peered out from around his door and caught sight of Shizuo's worried expression. The bodyguard's pale eyes were evaluating him, probably looking for any physical signs of damage or illness.

Haha, so Shizuo really _was_ worried about him.

"Yes, Shizu-chan?" asked Izaya, doing his utmost best to keep his mask in place.

Shizuo couldn't know that anything was wrong with him. Not to say that there was anything wrong with him; he was absolutely fine. Everyone had nightmares, and everyone had rough weeks, even those as seemingly omnipotent as Izaya.

* * *

The first thought that came to Shizuo's mind when Izaya opened the door just slightly was that the flea looked like shit. He could tell that the smaller man was hiding his real emotions from him. Well, trying to, anyway. Even after being around the flea for only a few weeks, Shizuo could tell that Izaya's smirk was just a little too fake, his voice a little too high-pitched.

The second thought – that Izaya looked good with his hair damp and messy like it was now – was much less constructive, so Shizuo smothered it quickly, much too focused on his current mission to bother feeling horrified over such an observation.

"Let me in, louse," Shizuo growled.

Izaya's brows furrowed, and his smirk faded.

"First you decide to show up in Shinjuku completely by random, and now you demand entry into my home, Shizu-chan? I thought even you possessed more manners than that," the informant scoffed.

Had it been only a few days prior, Shizuo would have been able to keep calm in the face of Izaya's unnecessary stubbornness. As it were, though, the blond had been out of contact with Izaya for three and a half days and two hours (but who was counting?), and he needed to know what the louse's problem was this time.

So instead of replying like most others would, the ex-bartender merely shoved Izaya's door open the rest of the way, causing the informant to stumble back a little, and let himself in.

"You can't want to be friends with me one day, Izaya, and then ignore me the next," said Shizuo, "Something's up."

And with that, the debt collector began wandering about Izaya's office, swinging his head sharply from left to right as he scrutinized every tiny detail of the apartment. Shizuo almost hoped he'd find some sign that someone else had been here in the past few days, maybe one of the flea's yakuza buddies. At least that way, Izaya would have a very understandable reason for not having contacted him for so long.

And for looking so goddamn miserable. Honestly, Shizuo was _not_ falling for the brunet's act-

"What do you think you're doing? I'm not hiding anything in here, Shizu-chan," Izaya said, coming up to follow alongside the taller man.

For a split second, Izaya smirked at some unspoken joke, but the expression was gone before Shizuo could be sure of what he had seen. Goddamn it, this was not the time for the flea's strange, psychotic humor!

"Have any of your yakuza friends been here recently?" Shizuo snapped, not quite sure why he felt the beginnings of a rampage stirring in his chest. He and the flea might be friends or whatever now, but what the informant did on his own time was none of Shizuo's business. …Right?

"No," Izaya answered simply.

"No one's been threatening you or anything?"

Shizuo scowled. He had concluded his search of Izaya's large office and had found no sign of their having been any unfamiliar people around. That meant something was probably wrong with the louse himself.

"No, Shizu-chan."

Izaya was getting irritated, Shizuo could tell by his tone, but the questions still had to be asked for the bodyguard's peace of mind.

And Shizuo wasn't sure why, but he felt himself relax significantly at Izaya's answers. Even if this meant the flea's problem would be harder to fix, Shizuo felt better at knowing no one had been coming after Izaya. He tried to convince himself that this pleased him because he wouldn't have to use violence against whatever punks decided to threaten one of his few friends, but Shizuo knew he was simply relieved that Izaya was in no immediate danger.

"Then what the hell's wrong with you, flea? I thought you'd gotten everything that was bothering you off your chest already," Shizuo said, glancing at the informant from the corner of his eye.

Izaya grinned back at him. The expression didn't reach his eyes.

"I'm fine, Shizu-chan. You really needn't get yourself so worked up over nothing. I've just been very busy with work, though I do appreciate Shizu-chan being so worried about me~" he chuckled.

Shizuo didn't see the humor in the situation. He hastily retrieved his phone from his pocket, flipping it open and finding Izaya's most recent message before shoving the screen at the informant's face.

"Just busy, huh? Then explain this, Izaya," Shizuo said, his face serious and determined as he held the phone up.

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't see what-"

"No little faces, no symbols, no exclamation points, not even a fucking 'Shizu-chan'!" explained the bartender vehemently, shaking the small phone for emphasis.

The flea's mask slipped for a moment. A look of horror crossed his face as he realized his mistake, and one of his hands reached up just slightly in the direction of the device as though Izaya needed to see proof of his error up close.

That devilish smirk of his was back again, though, and he merely shrugged in response.

"I don't see what the big deal is, Shizu-chan," he admitted, raising his eyebrows at the blond as though he had gone crazy, "Did you really get worked up and come all the way to Shinjuku just because I forgot to type a couple of emoticons?"

Shizuo grinned with triumph, shoving his phone back into his pocket and taking off his sunglasses so that he could examine the flea without the blue tint.

"I know you don't make mistakes often, but you really can't squirm your way out of this one, Izaya," Shizuo said, "Something's on your mind, and I want to know what it is."

"Shizu-chaaaan," Izaya groaned, rubbing a hand over his face, "There's seriously nothing wrong with me. Your concern is flattering, it really is, but I don't have time for this right now-"

"Pretending you're okay isn't strength, Izaya," Shizuo suddenly interrupted.

Izaya broke off mid-sentence, his eyes widening just slightly.

"Excuse me?"

"It's easy to lie to others and act like there's nothing wrong," the blond continued evenly, "Lying isn't strength. Opening yourself up to someone else and being honest is a much more difficult thing to do."

For a moment, Shizuo thought he had gotten to Izaya, as the informant's face fell at being found out. His dark brown eyes softened with what Shizuo had learned was affection, causing the bodyguard's stomach to flip uncomfortably, and he looked like he was about to give Shizuo the truth. But the mask was back in place almost as soon as it had slipped.

"Such an unexpectedly profound statement, Shizu-chan," Izaya chuckled without humor, "But, unfortunately for you, it is made in vain. I already told you nothing's bothering me; you're wasting your time."

So fucking _stubborn_, thought the ex-bartender as he grit his teeth against the urge to beat some sense into the stupid little louse.

"Friends open up to each other," said Shizuo.

"Are you deaf as well as dense? I already told you-"

"Fuck, shut up, Izaya," the blond snapped.

"Those are terribly contradictory requests, Shizu-chan," Izaya pointed out, "I can't both confide in you and shut up at the same- What the _hell are you doing?"_

Izaya cried out as Shizuo snapped, suddenly reaching out to grab the back of Izaya's coat tightly and wrapping his other arm around the smaller man's waist.

Really, why did Izaya feel the need to be so difficult about everything? He wanted to be friends with Shizuo, so that's exactly what he was getting.

The flea squirmed angrily against Shizuo's tight hold, trying to angle himself so that he could punch Shizuo in the side, but he had never been able to beat the other man in a contest of physical strength, and now was no exception.

"Put me down, Shizuo!" Izaya demanded, and the serious tone made Shizuo raise an eyebrow at him curiously.

Izaya was glaring furiously up at Shizuo from where the ex-bartender held him tightly, but the faint blush of pink dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears took all of the menace out of the expression.

Why the hell was the flea blushing? One of Izaya's hands had found its way to the arm Shizuo had wrapped forcefully around his waist, attempting to pull it away, and Shizuo realized how precariously low he was holding the flea, his hand almost on Izaya's hip.

Warmth began creeping up the back of Shizuo's neck, but he ignored it, only holding the brunet more tightly as he dragged Izaya over to one of the posh sofas in his office. Sure, the position was a little compromising, but if embarrassment got the fucking flea to talk, then Shizuo would do whatever it took.

"No," replied Shizuo simply, pulling Izaya down with him as he sat down on the sofa so that his back was against one of the arm rests and his legs were stretched across the cushions, "You aren't going anywhere until you tell me what's up."

"Nothing is 'up', Shizuo. How many times must I repeat myself before that underdeveloped brain of yours understands?" Izaya grumbled.

He ceased fighting against Shizuo's strength, and the blond situated Izaya so that he lay in between his legs comfortably, the informant's back against his chest and Izaya's head on his shoulder. Shizuo kept his arms wrapped around the flea's waist since Izaya still looked ready to bolt as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

For someone who dealt with the dangerous Tokyo underworld and needed to hide his emotions and thoughts completely, Izaya was being uncharacteristically transparent. If nothing was wrong like he kept insisting, then why was he being so stubborn?

"You must think I'm pretty stupid, huh? You're a good actor, but not that good. I don't see why you're so bent on keeping whatever it is that's got you so worried to yourself, Izaya," said Shizuo, and Izaya grumbled in reply, biting his lip and shifting his head so that the blond could not see his face.

"Even if something is on my mind, it's not any of your business," Izaya replied meekly.

Shizuo smiled. The flea was finally coming around.

"You've never had a real friend before, have you?"

Izaya didn't deign the question with a response, his scowl growing in intensity in a way Shizuo found quite endearing. It was rare that the ex-bartender got to see the other man with his feathers so ruffled, the first time being when Shizuo had shot down Izaya's choice of a film for them to watch… some weird, artistic film in French or something.

Grinning at the memory, Shizuo plowed on:

"'Cause friends are supposed to help you, flea, even if you don't want them to. So let me help… please," he requested gently, peering down at Izaya's face as he waited for some kind of response.

Izaya stared at Shizuo for a long moment, his small body tense against the bodyguard's as he was trapped in indecision. Shizuo understood how difficult this was for the informant; after all, he was in the business of giving out information on others, not himself. Telling the man he had considered his most hated enemy up until just recently something so personal had to be absolutely terrifying for him.

Finally, Izaya took a deep breath, his frame shaking just slightly.

"You really want to know, Shizu-chan?"

* * *

**Not a whole bunch happened in this chapter, I know ;n; B-but.  
**

**Ch.11 and 12 will _definitely_ make up for it. I PROMISE :) Now I'm off to go fill my word count quota for the day! As always, review if you'd like, but if not, that's okay, too! ^ ^ Thank you for reading~!  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Move aside, chapter 10! Chapter 11 is the new massive chapter on the block! Haha, you all will see what I mean once you get to the end of this chapter, but I was working towards a specific scene, so ch.11 ended up being much longer than all of the chapters before it 8D; ehheh. BUT! This chapter was really, really fun to write, so I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)**

**As always, thank you so much to all of those who have alerted/favorited/reviewed this story ^ ^ It makes me really, really happy to know that people like this story! Also, thanks to my wonderful beta, _pssty_, who always makes me feel better about these chapters XD And...**

**Disclaimer: If I owned DRRR!, I would have already forced someone to translate the novels into English ;n; B'awww...  
**

* * *

Izaya's heart was pounding painfully in his chest. He was completely and utterly trapped, ensnared by Shizuo both literally and figuratively.

Oh, he knew this love thing would give him nothing but trouble.

Unbeknownst to Shizuo, the informant had become so quiet and cooperative not only because of the strong hold he had around Izaya, but because Izaya would do whatever it took to get a safe distance away from the other man. Though the brunet had long since surrendered to his feelings for Shizuo, he hadn't anticipated his _physical_ reaction to be so strong.

Izaya felt as though his skin was burning beneath his shirt where Shizuo held him, and his heart was beating far too quickly for his liking, speeding up with every rise and fall of Shizuo's chest against his back as he breathed onto the small informant's neck.

Even if Ikebukuro's Most Destructive were now friends, Izaya still had an instinctive need to keep himself at a safe distance from Shizuo, developed from years of running away from the older man. So the fact that his body decided that where Izaya currently sat was perfectly safe, and that he should relax against Shizuo, was scaring him more than Shizuo's line of questioning.

Hopefully the bodyguard would release him if Izaya answered his questions.

"Yeah, I really wanna know," Shizuo said.

Where, oh where to begin? It would be easy to tell Shizuo about his dealings with the Farewell Rogers (as averse as Izaya was to the idea) and be done with it, but something told him that not even Shizuo would fall for that. Izaya had handled a three-way gang-war without breaking a sweat; the idea that he could be so affected by manipulating a little gang of nobodies was preposterous.

Once more, it seemed that Shizuo had cornered Izaya into telling the whole truth.

"Though Shinra probably already let this slip when we were in high school…" mumbled Izaya more to himself than to Shizuo, "My parents were abusive-"

Shizuo's grip grew painful, and Izaya's heart lurched at the protective gesture. Whether with fear or pleasure, he couldn't decide.

"Let me finish, Shizu-chan," Izaya added quickly when he heard the sharp intake of breath from the man behind him.

"They never meant any harm. Perhaps, like me, they were a little crazy, and they acted in the name of what they thought was love. My father was usually the more violent of the two, but my mother never ran away, even when I begged her to take us somewhere far away from him. I finally left by myself when I entered Raijin, and even though I was glad to get away from them, I never hated them… They _are_ my parents after all," chuckled the informant uneasily.

"Real parents don't hurt their kids," Shizuo growled, his voice dangerously soft in Izaya's ear.

From the way Shizuo's body was beginning to tense up, Izaya could tell the other man was only minutes away from being sent into a rage. Did he really care that much…? After all, Shizuo had still despised the very ground Izaya had walked on when this had been going on.

"Mine did. And I always loved them, no matter how much they abused me, Shizu-chan," said Izaya softly, "But it finally came to be that I feared their supposed love for me, and I knew I was only putting myself in danger by staying with them. That day you, Shinra, and Kadota came to get me after school was the last time I ever saw them."

It was as though all of the nearly forgotten pieces came together in that moment. Shizuo brought a gentle hand underneath Izaya's chin, raising his face so that he could stare into the informant's eyes. Izaya flinched away from the touch, set on edge by Shizuo's serious, sad look.

"Then those bars that were on your window…"

"Weren't for keeping people out. My parents were convinced something terrible would happen to me if they let me out of their sight," confirmed Izaya with a shrug.

The pitying look on Shizuo's face intensified, and Izaya looked away, disgusted with himself. Recalling the memories wasn't painful for the informant in that he felt as though he were reliving the trauma.

It was painful because Izaya felt completely and utterly pathetic.

He could only imagine how Shizuo must think of him now that he knew about what had been going on when they were in high school. Izaya had always put on such a careless, arrogant mask around his friends, that it must seem like some sort of divine justice in Shizuo's eyes that he had gone home every single day to submit to his parent's abuse.

During all of his internal worrying, Izaya hadn't even noticed that Shizuo's fingers had begun stroking his hair soothingly, his warm fingertips sending little sparks of pleasure across Izaya's skin. But as soon as he did, all of his anxious thoughts shut off, mind frozen in a completely new state of panic.

Shizuo was speaking again, Izaya could tell by the way the other man's chest rumbled just slightly with the reverberations of his deep voice, but the brunet couldn't focus on a word he was saying. Instead, Izaya was fighting with all the will power he had to keep from relaxing into Shizuo's touch and to prevent his eyes from fluttering shut.

"…sorry I never asked. I always noticed you were covered in bruises and stuff, but I just thought you kept getting into fights," Shizuo was explaining.

Izaya wasn't so worried about losing himself to Shizuo's calming ministrations as he realized what the bodyguard had just said, and he started slightly as if he were coming out of a doze.

Wait, why the hell was Shizuo sorry for something that wasn't even his fault?

"Heh, Shizu-chan," the informant snickered, angling himself so that the side of his face was resting against Shizuo's chest, his amused eyes staring up at the blond, "What are you apologizing for? It's not like you're the reason my parents were psychotic. Besides, my childhood isn't really the issue here. I have been having some irritating dreams, but those haven't done much more than make me lose sleep…"

Izaya trailed off, laughing awkwardly as he waited for Shizuo to reply, to say something, _anything._ But the ex-bartender was quick enough to know this was headed somewhere, and waited in patient silence for Izaya to get to the goddamn point.

"It's merely necessary background information that I, in my infinite kindness, decided to tell you so that your protozoan mind can make sense of things," continued Izaya, trying to smirk and failing miserably.

Shizuo scowled at the insult, looking wholly unimpressed with the little informant leaning against him, and Izaya felt a fleeting sense of triumph for being able to rouse a normal, predictable reaction out of the other man.

At least he hadn't completely lost his ability to irritate Shizuo!

"Stop stalling, flea," Shizuo growled.

Izaya wanted to laugh at the contradiction between the bodyguard's rough tone and the gentle way Shizuo was still petting his hair, but he decided not to take the risk. He had his physical wellbeing to consider, after all, and was very aware that he was still trapped in the arms of the strongest, most unstable man in Ikebukuro.

"Okay, okay. The simple answer to your question, Shizu-chan, the problem that has been bothering me so much lately is my unwanted realization that I–"

Like you, _love_ you. It would be so easy for Izaya to admit to it all here and now and put an end to his manipulation of Shizuo, as good as his intentions might have been. Too much was on the line, though. Everything could be ruined if Izaya took the risk and told the man who hated him that the feeling was no longer mutual.

Yes, Izaya still very firmly believed that Shizuo hated, or at least disliked, him. The informant was a terrible person while Shizuo was too decent of a person for his own good. Their strange friendship was able to exist only because of the fact that the blond resting against Izaya was kind at heart and was unable to be cruel to anyone, even the man who had made his life so difficult.

Who was _still_ making his life so difficult.

"Izaya…?"

Izaya smiled, and this time it was real. He couldn't lie, but he could continue to withhold just enough information to protect his interests.

"I apologize, Shizu-chan, it's a little difficult for me to say," said Izaya, "The realization I came to is that I – Orihara Izaya – have been wrong for almost twenty-four years of my life."

The horrific statement hung in the air for a long moment, and Izaya chewed on his lip nervously. He hated having to admit it to himself, but admitting it to another person was painful. Izaya had a reputation to uphold, even if he was talking only to Shizuo.

Making a mistake was one thing. Izaya would admit to having made a mistake or two in his lifetime, but being _wrong?_

Orihara Izaya had never been wrong before.

Izaya jumped with surprise as Shizuo's chest convulsed slightly, his eyes wide as he tried to get a good look at the bodyguard's expression, but Shizuo had brought up one of his hands to cover his face. His broad shoulders were shaking, and for a moment, Izaya thought the other man might be crying for some unknown, completely asinine reason (it was Shizuo, after all, man of unpredictability).

"What are you-?"

"Only you, Izaya…" Shizuo gasped, giving himself away as he let a rich laugh escape his mouth.

As soon as the informant realized Shizuo was laughing at him, he regretted opening up to the other man. Scowling, Izaya moved to get off of the sofa, only to be pulled back down by Shizuo, who was still laughing, his eyes squeezed shut with the effort of trying to calm himself down.

"Only you would care so much about something so simple," chuckled Shizuo, opening his eyes and wiping away a few tears that had started to form, "Is that really what's been bothering you so much? You were wrong about something?"

Even if it were at him, Izaya could have listened to Shizuo laugh all day. The deep, happy sound was infectious, and the informant caught himself smiling. As soon as he realized it, though, he wiped the expression from his face and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Yes, Shizu-chan, that really is the root of all of my recent worries, because my being wrong is not as simple as you might think. This is related to my history with my parents, remember?" Izaya replied calmly, relishing in the way Shizuo instantly sobered up at the reminder.

Though it gave Izaya the control over the situation that he so coveted, he did not enjoy using Shizuo's pity against him. But it had to be done if he wanted to keep the blond from prying too much, from finding out the truth that might send him running from Izaya.

"Dammit, sorry. That was rude…" sighed the ex-bartender, absentmindedly resuming his previous ministrations on Izaya's hair, "I won't laugh at you again, Izaya. Please continue. How does you being wrong tie into your batshit insane parents' abuse?"

Anger was laced heavily in Shizuo's voice as he recalled what Izaya had just told him about his parents, and Izaya smirked. Maybe he didn't feel quite so bad about manipulating Shizuo's emotions if it got the other man to act so protective.

"What I was wrong about is the direct fault of my parents. I've gone on for so long believing that I love mankind and all of its flaws, so I have shown my supposed love in the only way I knew how, the way I was taught by my parents," he explained, closing his eyes and leaning into the hand Shizuo had in his hair, "Of course, because of my abuse, my humans keep their distance from me, and I have ended up… alone."

"No surprise there, flea. People don't like being treated like they're toys for your amusement," replied Shizuo, and though Izaya knew he was only being honest, the comment still hurt.

"Besides, it's not like you can't change or anything. Now that you know what you've been doing wrong, you can fix it, Izaya. Just stop being such an asshole to everyone all the time," the bodyguard suggested thoughtfully.

Izaya appreciated that Shizuo was even bothering to help him out, but he was admittedly a little frustrated that Shizuo didn't understand the full extent of his problem.

"I still enjoy watching humans try to scramble out of the shambles of their lives once I've pulled a few strings, Shizu-chan. But I realized that I don't do it out of love. I don't love my humans… I only love abusing them."

Shizuo opened his mouth to respond, but the informant lying against him continued before he even had the chance to take a breath.

"And then there's _you, _Shizu-chan," snapped Izaya with frustration as he turned the full force of his glare on the man behind him, "Whose mere existence has thwarted my entertainment time and time again. You have caused me nothing but trouble since the day I met you, because I have absolutely no idea what's going on in that illogical mind of yours, because you're nothing like my predictable humans. You're something completely different, Shizu-chan, and for so long I hated you for it. However, just as I realized I do not truly love mankind – or really feel any affection for it whatsoever – I also decided that perhaps I do not actually hate you."

Shizuo's hand froze in Izaya's hair, his brows furrowing as he tried to make sense of what the informant had just said. As soon as Shizuo's eyes widened, Izaya knew he had said too much.

"So what are you saying, flea? You don't hate me, yeah, I figured out that much for myself," Shizuo said with another chuckle, flashing that beautiful smile at Izaya that caused his heart to speed up in a way he was certain was unhealthy.

"I'm saying that I don't really mind you, Shizu-chan. Hell, I might even _like_ you. I can't control you like I can control everyone else, but I don't resent that anymore. I might even respect you for it…" explained Izaya as he cocked his head slightly at his own words.

He hadn't meant to say what he had just said, but it was true, wasn't it?

"But it worries me that I'm not sure how I feel about you. I do not like being confused, Shizu-chan, and yet I have somehow gone from despising your existence to preferring your company to the games I play with my humans. It's incredibly frustrating," Izaya grumbled, and from the way the ex-bartender's grin only grew larger, he sensed that their serious discussion was over.

Finally, the universe was granting him some luck.

"Well you can't know everything all the time, louse," said Shizuo, shrugging.

"Oooh, Shizuo-chan~" parried Izaya with fake offense, "That can be a very dangerous thing in my line of work. Of course I need to know everything about everybody all of the time!"

_Especially_ himself, Izaya added silently, doing his best to keep his smirk in place.

Shizuo was shifting on the sofa as Izaya spoke, edging out from behind the informant gently as he got to his feet and stretched his arms over his head. Izaya tried to ignore the way the bodyguard's white shirt rode up just slightly, revealing the beginnings of a very toned stomach. The fact that Shizuo hadn't even bothered to put on his vest before hurrying over to Izaya's apartment had not gone unnoticed – or unappreciated – by the informant.

That irritating bowtie was even absent today, allowing some of the buttons at the neck of the shirt to go unclasped. Just as the beginnings of a blush were once more working their way over Izaya's face, and the brunet was certain Shizuo had noticed he was staring a little bit too intently at him, Shizuo derailed his inappropriate train of thoughts.

"So you're not sure how you feel about me. I'm sure that's not going to land you into any sort of serious trouble, Izaya," Shizuo said, and then – hearing Izaya's stomach grumble just slightly – added, "Would you mind if I used your kitchen? I'll make breakfast to make up for coming over here so early to bother you."

Sh-shizuo could _cook?_ Izaya had the sudden mental image of the other man in an apron, and smothered a fit of gleeful giggles that threatened to bubble out of his throat. Must not laugh at Shizuo when the ex-bartender was in such a good mood…!

"Haha, I guess you _do_ owe me, Shizu-chan! But whatever you make better be really good if you intend to apologize for making me get ready so quickly this morning. I didn't even get to blow-dry my hair because of you," the informant replied with a mock pout, waving one of his hands dismissively in the direction of the large kitchen. It wasn't as if he really used it himself anyway. Whenever Namie wasn't around to make him something, Izaya usually didn't have the time to make himself a decent meal.

Shizuo snorted, probably at the blow-drying comment, as he headed towards the kitchen. As soon as the ex-bartender disappeared around the corner, Izaya allowed himself to sigh with relief, and he slumped against the back of his sofa.

That had been way too close!

Had Shizuo pursued his dangerous line of questioning, there was no doubt in Izaya's mind that he would have finally coughed up the whole truth under pressure. How the hell was the blond so adept at getting Izaya to open up to him? It wasn't fair; Izaya was the one playing a very precarious game, not Shizuo. _He_ was the one in control!

Izaya shuddered to think of the catastrophe he had just avoided, but he supposed he should be grateful that the object of his strange affections was so slow. Things could have been much, much worse.

* * *

Shizuo grinned to himself as soon as he turned the corner into Izaya's kitchen, chuckling as softly as possible. Tempting as it had been to press Izaya for more answers, Shizuo had considerately backed off; the informant had told him enough for now. Besides, the blond didn't like how uncomfortable he had been making Izaya. Though the smaller man probably thought he was completely unreadable – which he was at most times – it didn't take any sort of genius to figure out that the way Izaya had tensed against Shizuo and kept shifting his gaze away from the ex-bartender indicated anxiety.

Let Izaya keep his little secrets, Shizuo had decided. Perhaps if things had seemed more severe, if Izaya were plotting another three-way war or another wonderful way to make Shizuo's life miserable, he would have bothered Izaya until he got the whole truth.

But Shizuo was more worried about losing one of the very, very few friends he had than any weird, personal secret of Izaya's. Even if that weird, personal secret did seem to pertain to the bodyguard himself…

Cold air from the fridge hitting his face as he looked for ingredients to make himself and Izaya breakfast, Shizuo hesitated, his eyes narrowing as his curiosity was rekindled. Why would the flea have some weird secret regarding Shizuo? It didn't make any sense. They had gone from hating and trying to kill one another to having a very awkward sort of friendship due to their mutual loneliness; There was nothing complicated about it.

Unless…

Goddamn it! Shizuo would not pry!

He grabbed a nearby carton of eggs and some meat and slammed the refrigerator closed a little too harshly. If it were that important, the flea would tell Shizuo himself. Because if Izaya even so much as suspected that Shizuo was getting a bit too interested in his personal business, the blond didn't doubt that Izaya would end this odd relationship of theirs.

"Unless you know something about my refrigerator that I don't, I doubt it said anything to offend you," spoke an amused voice from the entrance of the kitchen.

Shizuo jumped slightly, nearly crushing the carton of eggs he held in his hands as he whipped around to see the informant watching him, hands on his slim hips and smirk plastered on his face.

"Just thinking," Shizuo replied as evenly as he could as he busied himself around the kitchen, retrieving pans and spatulas.

Meanwhile, Izaya settled himself down at his kitchen table, lacing the fingers of his hands together and resting his chin atop them, content to watch Shizuo go about his business with those dark, scrutinizing eyes of his.

"Ah, that explains it," Izaya giggled, and Shizuo tried to pretend that the noise irritated him as much as it used to, "Maybe, for as long as the fate of my breakfast hangs in the balance, you should give up on multitasking, Shizu-chan~"

Shizuo scowled, ignoring the louse's playful comments and instead busying himself with heating up the pans over the stove. It would be much easier to drown out Izaya's commentary once the crackle of frying meat filled the kitchen.

As soon as Shizuo's focused shifted from the informant to cooking their breakfast, however, the flea fell unexpectedly silent. Shizuo wanted to look over his shoulder to see what the hell Izaya was doing, but he could practically feel the other man's eyes on his back, watching his every movement. It figured that when Izaya wasn't listening to the sound of his own voice he took to absorbing every little bit of information around him.

Shizuo felt himself beginning to grow uneasy. What if Izaya was just waiting for him to make a mistake so that he could make fun of Shizuo? The last person Shizuo had cooked for was Kasuka, and that had been forever ago. Friends or not, Shizuo wouldn't put it past the louse to be a dick to anyone and everyone no matter what his relationship with them was. Even if they were making him food.

Surprisingly enough, Shizuo managed to get through his cooking without another snide remark on Izaya's part. The informant was probably just worn-out from their discussion and the frantic start to his day.

Shizuo turned around to join Izaya at the kitchen table, and froze.

The flea had been looking at him with that weird expression on his face again! Izaya's eyes had been bright, and there had been a gentle smile on his lips. Of course, the instant Izaya noticed Shizuo looking at him, the look that denoted either affection or illness was gone, replaced by the informant's regular arrogance.

"I wonder if Shizu-chan is trying to poison me?" questioned Izaya softly as he poked at the eggs on his plate with the sharp end of his fork (Shizuo had been totally unable to find more than a single pair of chopsticks in Izaya's overly Western kitchen).

"As if I'd go to the trouble, flea," Shizuo grumbled, sitting down across from the smaller man and scowling at the way Izaya only tittered in response.

Izaya turned his focus to the food in front of him, placing the first bite in his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. His head cocked to the side ever so slightly, and Shizuo became a little nervous. What if the flea somehow managed to hate his simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and ham?

And why the fuck did Shizuo even care?

"Huh…" the brunet finally said at length, tapping his chin as he regarded Shizuo with that look of his that said the ex-bartender had once more surprised him, "I suppose you really _can_ cook, Shizu-chan. I never thought someone with a lack of patience such as yours would be able to apply himself to such a delicate art."

"Stupid flea, of course I can cook," mumbled Shizuo, "Unlike you, I don't have the kind of money to hire people to cook for me."

The words were meant to be an insult, but they weren't as barbed as Shizuo would have liked. He averted his eyes from the increasingly amused countenance of the man across from him. Of course Shizuo was only saying that so Izaya wouldn't know how happy his praise – however roundabout it might have been – made him.

"I would expect you to be the sort of guy who would live off of cup noodles or something. Cooking isn't a very manly activity, Shizu-chan~"

"Are you really all that surprised that you were wrong about me for the millionth time, louse? Looks like Orihara Izaya really _doesn't_ know everything," and then he felt the need to add, "And what the hell isn't manly about cooking?"

The two fell into a half-serious argument about what kind of things were manly and what were not (shopping, for example, depended completely upon the items being bought. Pedicures, Shizuo had to tell Izaya, were decidedly feminine, no matter how hard the flea tried to argue otherwise). Mid-way through the discussion, Shizuo found that he had nearly forgotten his history with the man across from him, instead reveling in the way Izaya's eyes danced each time a compelling argument was made, and the way his soft voice became gradually less grating to Shizuo's ears.

How had he never noticed how attractive Izaya was before? He had known the flea had a fairly decent body, but only in terms of being able to outrun the bodyguard during their fights and avoid every object Shizuo hurled his way. As they bickered, Shizuo's mind drifted from the words that were being spoken to the man who was speaking them. Izaya was slender, but not at all in a girlish way. And then there was the flea's _face…_

Izaya must have noticed the way Shizuo was staring at him, because he kept shooting the blond confused looks as he spoke, but Shizuo really didn't care. He could examine his former rival without there being any other motive than simple curiosity, couldn't he?

"I suppose I'll give you cooking if you can give me blow-drying my hair," Izaya finally conceded, "Besides, being able to cook does allow one to be more self-sufficient, and – in turn – more masculine. Oh, and you can do the dishes, too, Shizu-chan."

The louse's last sentence snapped Shizuo out of his contemplation of how soft Izaya's skin was and how desperately he wanted to reach out and see if his face was just as smooth as his hand had been that day at Russia Sushi.

It was simple curiosity and nothing more! Shizuo could _not_ be attracted to a _flea_! No matter how cute or handsome the other man might be!

"What? I just made you breakfast!" Shizuo spluttered, at which Izaya shook one of his fingers.

"Ah-ah, Shizu-chan~ Remember, you did so as an apology for coming over so abruptly. It would be rude to not only invite yourself into my home, but to then use my kitchen and expect _me_ to do the cleaning."

Izaya followed up this explanation with a rather impish grin, which only made the face Shizuo had just recently decided was attractive even _more_ good-looking. The little shit was enjoying all of this, wasn't he?

"Whatever, Izaya," sighed the bodyguard, getting to his feet and beginning to clean up the kitchen.

"Oh, what's this?" asked Izaya in mock surprise as he followed Shizuo about the room, "Shizu-chan isn't arguing with me? I hope the time you've spent with me hasn't domesticated you and made you docile, because that would be no fun…" the informant pouted.

Shizuo merely rolled his eyes at the brunet. He had already learned that Izaya wasn't nearly so annoying if his clever remarks went ignored. Just like a schoolyard bully, Izaya gave up harassing his victims if he didn't get any reactions.

"Maybe I should have you work for me instead of that woman I call my secretary. Your company is certainly much more pleasant then hers," Izaya suddenly said from where he was leaning against the kitchen counter, watching Shizuo dry plates.

Had the flea really just complimented Shizuo yet again? Twice in one day… Surely the world was coming to an end.

"Heh, you have a secretary? Figures," replied Shizuo with a smirk as he set the last bit of silverware back in its respective cabinet.

"Hiring her was really more of a philanthropic decision on my part," Izaya giggled, "She was soon to be out of work~"

And then that sly grin came over his features that made Shizuo uneasy, his dark gaze resting on the kitchen clock before adding:

"Shouldn't you have been at work an hour ago, Shizu-chan?"

Oh shit-!

Shizuo didn't even bother to check the time on the clock. He could tell from the bright light streaming through the massive windows of the flea's apartment that Izaya was indeed right.

"Goddammit, louse!" snarled Shizuo angrily as he pulled his phone from his pocket and stormed his way towards the door.

As angry as Shizuo might have been, though, he couldn't smother the warm feeling rising in his chest. At least he had been able to spend some extra time with Izaya, even if it had made him late for work.

* * *

"And I'm sorry again, Tom. I promise I'll be there right away," Shizuo sighed into his phone, eyeing Izaya in a way that said he wasn't entirely pleased with the informant.

Izaya shuffled a bit where he stood holding the door open for the blond. He hadn't meant for Shizuo to be frustrated with him, he just…

Didn't want to be left alone again. Especially after being allowed such a nice morning with Shizuo.

Shizuo's phone snapped shut, and the ex-bartender opened his mouth to say something, but Izaya interrupted him before he even had the chance to form his first word.

"I'm sure he really believed your stuttered 'I overslept' excuse," Izaya sneered, his voice more venomous than it had been all morning as he formed a set of particularly sharp air quotes.

Hopefully Shizuo would only think Izaya was offended, because the last thing he wanted the brute to know was that such a simple comment had caused a pang in his heart. The informant could only imagine what the other man would do with the knowledge that he held so much power over Izaya's emotions.

At least Shizuo had the decency to look guilty.

"I couldn't tell him that I'm at your place for breakfast, Izaya," Shizuo said with exasperation, "That just sounds so… _weird._"

"Oh, yes!" replied Izaya, spreading his hands out in front of him as though he were reading a newspaper headline, "Heiwajima Shizuo and Orihara Izaya seen eating breakfast together! How scandalous, Shizu-chan. I don't know how our reputations would _ever_ recover."

If Shizuo somehow missed the sarcasm that was practically dripping from his words, then Izaya was going to give up any faith he still had in the monster's mental faculties. He had to at least let Shizuo know that lying about their friendship was not okay with him.

Confusion swirled in Shizuo's eyes for a moment before he suddenly broke out in that grin Izaya both loved and hated. Shizuo had a smile like no other, but whenever he looked like that, it was because he had seen through one of Izaya's façades.

"You're angry," he laughed.

"And you're a genius," Izaya parried with a dramatic roll of his eyes.

That stupid laugh was coming from Shizuo again and – try as he might – Izaya couldn't retain any of the frustration he felt for the other man, allowing himself a tiny smile as Shizuo ruffled his hair and made his way over the threshold of Izaya's apartment.

"If it bothers you that much, flea, I'm fine with telling Tom that I've been hanging out with you. Hell, he'll probably be thrilled that I have one less reason to get angry now," Shizuo conceded, and Izaya's little smile turned into a full on grin, the informant completely forgetting his decision to hide his emotional reactions from Shizuo.

"Whatever, Shizu-chan~ Do as you wish. It's not like I really care," huffed the brunet.

"As much as I would love to stay and argue that that's not true at all, I have to get to work, Izaya."

* * *

The moment the words left Shizuo's mouth, Izaya's gleeful expression vanished, and the bodyguard's heart twisted just slightly at the knowledge that he had been the catalyst for its disappearance. It was as though all of Izaya's walls had gone back up, his face once more cold and unreadable as he watched Shizuo carefully.

"I don't want to lose you another one of your jobs, I suppose," remarked Izaya dryly, and if Shizuo hadn't seen the flea as much as he had over the past two weeks, he would never have picked up on the cues that Izaya was sad.

Izaya always became guarded when he thought he was feeling an emotion that would make him appear weak to Shizuo; that morning being a perfect example. The informant's dark gaze briefly flickered over his now empty apartment, and Shizuo instantly understood.

_Oh…_

"Izaya."

Remembering Shizuo was still there, the brunet turned his attention back to the ex-bartender, his face reflecting his reluctance to let Shizuo leave, and looking for all the world like a kicked puppy.

"I promise I'll be back," said Shizuo, bringing up one of his hands to cup the side of Izaya's face and running his thumb gently along the informant's cheek.

Izaya moved as though to pull away from Shizuo, his eyes widening as he perhaps realized what Shizuo was about to do before the bodyguard himself did. But all Shizuo knew in that moment was that Izaya looked really fucking depressed.

And he didn't like it.

Closing his eyes, Shizuo leaned in and brushed his lips across the spot his thumb had just grazed beneath Izaya's eye, and he was pleased to learn that Izaya's face was in fact as soft as his hands.

_W-wait…!_

"Sh-shizu-chan…?"

Shizuo's eyes snapped back open and he pulled away from the informant as though he had been burned. What the fuck did he think he was doing! He and Izaya stared at each other – both reflecting equal amounts of confusion and surprise back at the other – for a long moment.

Shizuo was the first to break it by suddenly taking off down the hallway, his legs carrying him as far and as quickly from Izaya as they could.

What had he just done?

* * *

It took Izaya at least a minute of simply standing and staring at the spot where Shizuo had just been before he was able to shut the door to his apartment. The spot of his face the blond had just kissed was tingling, and Izaya raised his hand to it.

His smile returned to him in full force, and he giggled giddily, unable to stop himself from skipping across the living room that was a part of his office before he gave up on that and fell back onto the sofa he and Shizuo had been laying on barely an hour ago.

"Does Shizu-chan _like_ me?" Izaya asked no one in particular, hugging a pillow to his chest and pressing his face to it to suppress another fit of laughter.

It could very well be that Izaya had simply looked so pitiful (as he certainly had been laying it on pretty thick) that Shizuo, being the good guy he was, had felt the need to do _something._

Even if that something involved him accidentally switching some sort of parting 'We should do this again sometime' with a kiss. Or it could be that speaking so much had just become a strain on Shizuo's brutish mind, and his mouth had acted of its own accord!

It probably happened all the time.

Izaya knew he shouldn't be acting so silly, this _was_ Shizuo after all, and things were never as they appeared with the other man. But even as the cogs in Izaya's cunning mind began to turn, thinking up the various motives Shizuo could have for such a bold move, the informant wished his brain would for once let something as innocent as a kiss be nothing more than a kiss…

At least a little part of Izaya was still allowing him to dare to believe that Shizuo might very possibly have acted out of nothing more than affection.

That night, Izaya dreamt of warmth.

* * *

**MUAHAHAHA! ...anywho 8D; I hope the pacing was okay OTL That was a lot to cram into one chapter, so I'm sorry if it felt like it dragged! Ch.12 will hopefully be coming by the end of the weekend~! (and, man oh man, do I think you guys are going to like it XD)**

**Thanks so much for reading! :) If you don't review, then that's alright, but it really does make my day to see new reviews in my inbox ^^; Have an awesome rest-of-Tuesday/Wednesday!  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for being so late with this one ;n; It's been done since Sunday, but my primary computer died last week, so I've been dealing with one computer that has internet but no word processor, and another with a word processor and no internet Dx But my main computer is up and running again, so there shouldn't be anymore delays! :D**

**Thank you all so much for the crazy awesome response to chapter 12~ ;u; All of your comments, favorites, and alerts made me really, really happy. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME! And, as always, thanks to my beta pssty for helping me out with this fic :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned DRRR!, Shiki would have appeared a lot more in the anime x_x**

* * *

"_Nhh… ah…!"_

_The soft voice gasped into his ear, in time with the faint creaking of the bed. Maddening heat enveloped each frenzied movement, and the darkness surrounding them seemed much too stifling._

_Shifting, the smaller of the two moaned loudly as Shizuo's length penetrated deeper than before, throwing her head back. Shizuo growled his approval, burying his head against the juncture of the nameless woman's neck and shoulder._

_He was so close… so close…_

"_Sh-shizu…! Harder!" she gasped, her voice low and sultry._

_Shizuo was glad to comply._

_The blond shivered as he felt her walls beginning to tighten around him. One of his hands reached up to caress the gentle curve of her breasts, only to freeze when his palm found instead a flat expanse of skin._

W-what…

_Eyes suddenly snapping open, Shizuo pulled back slightly from the woman beneath him, terror coursing through his veins as he took in the image of the person panting and writhing beneath him._

_Mischievous eyes peered back at Shizuo, clouded with lust._

_They glittered a brilliant scarlet in the dim lighting of the room._

"_Sh-shizu-chan!" that voice groaned again, a pair of hips rolling insistently against Shizuo's, "Please… d-don't haah… stop!"_

Izaya!

_Shizuo smirked, delivering a particularly harsh thrust and reveling in the way the informant under him moaned his name, one of his hands coming up to pull Shizuo's hair while the other tangled in the pale sheets of Shizuo's bed._

"_So demanding, Izaya," the blond chuckled, his grip on the flea's hips becoming bruising._

This was so wrong.

_Flea or not, Shizuo was too far gone to care who it was laying beneath him now. His eyes squeezed shut as the muscles in his abdomen began to tense, and he was aware of his own voice whispering Izaya's name against his neck over and over again like a mantra._

_The slap of wet flesh against wet flesh was deafening. Izaya suddenly arched sharply against Shizuo, rising off of the mattress as his legs pulled the other man impossibly closer._

"_Hngh, Sh… Shizuo!" Izaya practically screamed, his cum covering his and Shizuo's stomachs._

"_Izaya… Izaya…"_

"Izaya!"

Shizuo lurched awake at the sound of his own voice. His chest heaved as he tried to regulate his breathing, and his dilated eyes tried to focus on the room around him. The surrounding silence seemed deafening compared to the noisy dream he had just awoken from.

"Fuck," groaned Shizuo, wiping a hand over his sweat-covered face.

It was just a dream…

And Shizuo wasn't sure if he was disappointed or thrilled. The way his heart twisted told him he probably didn't want to dwell on it. Instead, he got out of bed and made his way over to the bathroom to take a shower, hoping that the sooner he washed away the wet, sticky substance between his legs, the sooner he could forget about the goddamn dream all together.

* * *

Shizuo's plan to forget about that morning's awkward dream had not gone as intended. Each residence he and Tom visited that day did not provide Shizuo with the distraction he had been relying on, as that green skull tag was waiting for them everywhere they went, the place already in shambles and the money they had come for already laid out for them.

A weight had settled in Shizuo's stomach after the second skull they had seen, and he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more going on here than met the eye. It was all too perfect: The Farewell Rogers start making Shizuo's job easier for him as they also become increasingly violent, just as Izaya suddenly wants to become best friends with the man he had always hated…

But every time the ex-bartender tried to go over the past few weeks in his head, searching for some missed hint the flea might have dropped, some lead he could follow about what was happening in Ikebukuro now, his mind ground to a halt.

He just couldn't get the image of his dream Izaya's face from his mind! Or the wanton gasps and moans, the way Izaya had cried out his name as he-

"Shizuo?"

Shizuo blinked as though he were just noticing the world around him, staring down at his employer who was watching him with concern.

"Hm?"

Tom raised an eyebrow at the bodyguard, his head tilting to the side slightly.

"I've been talking to you for at least five minutes, but I don't think you've heard anything I've said," explained Tom, "What's on your mind?"

Oh god, had he really? Shizuo cursed himself furiously for being so oblivious and for completely ignoring the man who had done so much for him. He had really been messing up ever since the previous morning!

No thanks to Izaya.

Seeing that Shizuo was still trying to compose himself, Tom let his shoulders slump, sighing and running a hand through his hair as he glanced down the street. He knew Shizuo well enough to know that he shouldn't pressure his bodyguard into talking if he really wanted to help.

"Look, Shizuo. We haven't really had to do much today, and this whole Farewell Rogers thing is kind of worrying me, so how about we call it quits today? C'mon," said Tom, beginning to walk towards a shaded area set out of the thick of the midday crowds, gesturing for Shizuo to follow him.

Shizuo kept his head down, staring at his feet as he followed after his employer. He didn't want to lie to Tom, and he had told Izaya he was going to tell the other man about their recent friendship anyway… But how _much_ could he tell his senpai?

Best to be completely honest, Shizuo decided. It was the least he could do for being such a shitty employee for the past two days.

His mind overflowed with the various things he wanted to say but couldn't exactly figure out how to phrase. To be honest, Shizuo himself hardly knew what was going on, and he wasn't certain how to explain things to Tom.

But before he could think of the right words, Tom had plopped down on a bench standing beneath the shade of the trees, patting the spot beside him for Shizuo to join him.

Shizuo sat down awkwardly beside Tom, fidgeting his hands in his lap as he glanced from his employer to a spot on the pavement and back again. Curiosity was written all over Tom's face, but he said nothing, letting Shizuo take his time. It wasn't often Shizuo would talk about his own problems with anyone else, so he was grateful that Tom wasn't rushing him.

"Please don't repeat what I'm gonna tell you to _anyone_," began the bodyguard, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette and his lighter. The mere prospect that Shizuo was about to tell Tom the whole truth was already making him uncomfortable and nervous.

"Of course," Tom replied easily.

Shizuo took a deep breath and looked at his employer once more before sighing and fixing his sight on the cars driving past them on the street. He couldn't believe he was doing this…

"I didn't really sleep in yesterday, and the reason you never see me around 'Bukuro on my days off anymore isn't because I've been holing myself up in my house. For the last two weeks, I've actually been… hanging out with the fl- Izaya," – Tom's eyes widened impossibly large at this statement, and his mouth gaped open, but he let Shizuo continue –, "At first, I thought it was all part of some plot to make me miserable, but he hasn't done anything out of the ordinary. Well, anything out of the ordinary for a flea, at least. So I'm not really sure _what_ to think anymore, but… anyway. When I called you yesterday morning, I was at his place."

"W-what? Like-"

At the horrified look on Tom's face, Shizuo realized what it was he had said, and quickly raised his hands, shaking his head furiously.

"No! Not like that! We were just having breakfast," Shizuo corrected, a blush rising up the back of his neck.

_And then I kissed him._

Tom stared at Shizuo with shock for a moment before he shook his head and laughed.

"Heh, friends with Orihara, huh? I never woulda thought… What's the story there, Shizuo?" asked Tom calmly, a smile on his face that reflected none of the disbelief or disgust Shizuo had been expecting.

The tall blond shrugged, taking a deep drag from his cigarette as he mulled the question over. The development of he and Izaya's relationship, the way they had seemed to so easily change how they interacted, made so much sense to him, but to anyone else – especially someone who knew their bitter history – Shizuo could definitely see how insane the whole idea seemed.

"I think," began Shizuo slowly, releasing the smoke from his lungs as he pieced the words together in his head, "The flea was real lonely. Which is no surprise really, 'cause of his wonderful personality. I know he did it to himself, Tom, but he just… He approached me two weeks ago and told me he couldn't do this anymore," – Shizuo gestured vaguely to the streets before them, referring to their never-ending battle – "He was afraid that he might kill me and find himself with no one to entertain him, I guess. I would have laughed at him for even thinking we could be friends."

Tom looked skeptical, his eyebrows drawn down as though he had something to say, and Shizuo paused, but his employer gestured for him to continue.

"I was lonely, too, though. When I'm out around town, it's not so bad, but with Kasuka leaving soon and all, I get home and there's no one, Tom. Solitude's fine every once in a while, but having to come home to it every day was wearing down on me. So when Izaya suggested we try something different, I thought it might be a good idea to at least give it a shot."

With the situation laid out for his friend, Shizuo didn't feel any more relaxed. As he waited for Tom to respond, Shizuo was incredibly aware of the sound of his own heart beating loudly in his ears. Would Tom say it was stupid of him to put so much trust in Izaya?

"Are you sure he's not just messing with you, Shizuo? How do you know he's not just getting close to you so he can use you in some evil plot of his?" asked Tom slowly.

"I don't think he is. He's made too many mistakes around me," – upon seeing his employer raise an eyebrow and open his mouth to speak, Shizuo quickly added – "Yeah, yeah, I know. He could just have made it seem like he was slipping up to gain my trust. There could be some kind of crazy ulterior motive behind everything he does, Tom. After seeing him for a couple weeks, though, I'm willing to take my chances."

And then, before Tom could utter another word:

"Especially since I think I'm starting to like him."

This _did_ throw the older man off, and he started as though something had shocked him.

"As in-"

"I kissed him," interrupted Shizuo thoughtfully, effectively halting any of Tom's thoughts, "But that was yesterday, and I haven't talked to him since. I don't regret doing it because of what it meant, I'm just worried that he might not want to see me anymore. I don't think the flea's so good with emotions."

Shizuo decided to leave out the part about his dream. He decided that Tom was getting an earful enough without Shizuo traumatizing him.

"Do you _want_ to like him, Shizuo? Because it could be really dangerous to become so emotionally invested in someone like Izaya…" Tom said carefully.

This was not something Shizuo had considered yet. He was still hung up on whether or not he liked the flea in the first place, though he was becoming more and more certain that he did. Possibly. Friends or not, there was still a voice in the back of Shizuo's mind that told him Izaya was not the kind of person he should like any more than in a casual, "you're better than no one at all" sense.

"I don't know," replied Shizuo, surprised by his answer, but knowing it was the only honest one he could give, "He's not a good person, but he's not really a terrible one either. The times he does bother to be decent make up for when he's not. And… lately I've felt more relaxed than I have in a while. When I'm around him, I'm not worried about my strength, because he's been keeping up with me for years."

Tom was grinning at Shizuo in a way that concerned the bodyguard slightly, and he shifted where he sat uncomfortably. He had said too much! He seemed like some sappy teenage girl or something.

"It sounds like you _do_ know," Tom said, and then, getting to his feet, "I might as well go home if we're finished here, 'cause I'd really rather not hang around when there are a bunch of angry kids wandering around. I think you should go find, Izaya, though. Sounds like you need to talk to him."

This last part was said with a perplexed look, as though Tom himself couldn't believe what he had just said, and Shizuo found himself chuckling at the absurdity of it all.

He, Heiwajima Shizuo, liked Orihara Izaya, probably _the_ number one asshole in all of Japan who Shizuo had hated since he had met him. Not only that, but here was Tom, telling him with a straight face to go find Izaya and _talk_ to him.

Shizuo supposed that stranger things had happened in Ikebukuro.

"I guess," grumbled Shizuo as he also stood, tossing his cigarette to the ground and grinding it out with the heel of his shoe.

Now that the challenge had presented itself to Shizuo, he realized that he had no idea how the hell he was supposed to hunt Izaya down. The flea might not even be in Ikebukuro today. Like Shizuo, he could very well be avoiding their impending confrontation, which would make him almost impossible to find.

Sighing to himself, Shizuo began to trudge away from his employer, raising his hand in farewell.

"Thanks, Tom."

"Anytime, Shizuo."

* * *

Finding Izaya was, as Shizuo had feared, proving to be completely impossible. The flea was one of those people who couldn't be found if they didn't want to be found, and Izaya certainly didn't want to be found.

"_This is Orihara Izaya. I'm not here right now-"_

Shizuo snapped his phone shut, cutting off Izaya's professional voice mail with a deep scowl on his face. He had already tried calling three times with no luck. It wasn't like the informant to not pick up his phone; Izaya had to be busy with work or something.

Leave it to Izaya to suddenly not have an electronic device handy when Shizuo needed to get in contact with him most. Whatever he was doing damn well be important, decided the bodyguard grumpily.

The sky was beginning to grow blindingly bright as it did just before the sun set, and Shizuo considered calling off his search until tomorrow. He had been wandering around the city for the past two hours with absolutely no luck, and he was getting tired.

But the sound of a familiar, condescending voice stopped the ex-bartender in his tracks. Just around the corner, he could hear very clearly:

"You all should be grateful that I am such a caring person. Not many would be willing to find such good information for you on your biggest critics," laughed the voice, "Maybe I should start charging you kids after all, neh~? Surely a big, influential gang such as yourselves should have some sort of stockpile of loot somewhere."

Before the indignant cries of whoever the hell the flea was talking to could turn into anything violent, Shizuo rounded the corner, surprised to see Izaya leaning casually against a lamp post, engaged in a conversation with a group of unruly looking teens. Upon seeing the Monster of Ikebukuro approaching them, a few of the young boys' eyes widened, and one of them bolted.

"Surely no one other than Shizu-chan could inspire such a wonderful reaction from my lovely humans~" Izaya said, turning around to smirk at the taller man.

Momentarily dazed by the warm emotion in the flea's eyes, Shizuo forgot why he had even been looking for the informant in the first place, instead worrying himself with who the fuck Izaya had just been talking to as the nondescript teens ran off.

They were in some kind of gang, that much Shizuo knew, but they hadn't been wearing a common color, so-

"Eh, what's this, Shizu-chan?" asked Izaya, cocking his head to the side as his smirk only became a little more devilish, "Have you been stunned into silence by my very presence?"

And then, noticing that they no longer had an audience, his soft voice dropped.

"I was wondering when you'd have the guts to come talk to me," he said, "What kind of a guy kisses someone and runs? I thought you were a gentleman, Shizu-chan."

At the mention of the kiss, Shizuo's eyes widened, and he took a cautious step back from Izaya as the reality of what he had done came back to him. He had really crossed the line with the flea, hadn't he? Whatever sort of shaky friendship they had been able to maintain for the past two weeks was gone now, destroyed by Shizuo's stupid impulse. There was no easy way out of this!

Well, just one.

Without a single word to the informant, Shizuo began to run back the way he had come, scowling both at his own cowardice and the situation he was stuck in. He could hear Izaya yell something after him, but the blond didn't stop.

* * *

Years of Shizuo chasing after Izaya in a blind rage, and here Shizuo was, running from the smaller man as though he were the most terrifying thing in Japan.

Izaya frowned and tensed his hands at his sides angrily: The stupid brute wasn't supposed to be _running_ from him! Shizuo was being a child about the whole matter, Izaya decided as he pulled his flickblade from his pocket (it was always best to keep up appearances) and took off after the blond.

He hadn't planned on running into Shizuo at all that day, actually, knowing that the other man would probably need a day or two to figure out what the hell he wanted and why he had kissed Izaya. Of course, being Orihara Izaya, the informant already knew the whys and hows and whats of it all, having orchestrated it himself, and he understood that any lesser being would need a little longer to get a handle on things.

But it seemed to Izaya that Shizuo had been looking for him, if the relieved look on the bodyguard's face when he had seen Izaya was anything to go by. Who the fuck came looking for someone only to run away when the finally found them?

Izaya darted down an alleyway just as Shizuo was about to glance behind him to see if the brunet was following him, the innocent bystanders on the side of the street already beginning to clear out as they spotted the two men.

Izaya giggled softly to himself as he peered around the corner to see Shizuo moving away quickly, but no longer running. Izaya's heart was beating loudly in his ears as he began to follow after Shizuo in a much stealthier fashion, weaving in and out of the confused crowd that just now seemed to be noticing who was chasing whom.

If it hadn't been for Shizuo's bold move the day before, Izaya would have let the other man be so that he could simply finish his business in Ikebukuro and go home. However, Izaya now had a reason to advance his personal project ahead of schedule thanks to the monster's rather un-Shizuo-like cooperation.

How could Izaya go home now when things were getting interesting?

Several yards ahead, Shizuo was still wary of his surroundings after the close encounter with Izaya, but totally unsuspecting of the informant trailing him. Perfect.

Breaking back into a sprint, Izaya was careful to keep as silent as possible, aware of the impish grin spreading on his face as he grew nearer to his prey. His hand tightened around his flickblade as he lunged at Shizuo, grabbing one of the blond's arms while he brought his other hand up to press his blade against the bodyguard's throat.

Izaya was careful not to break Shizuo's skin.

"Shizu-chan~" cooed Izaya into the other man's ear, well-aware of the shiver that ran up Shizuo's spin at the sensation of Izaya's breath against the shell of his ear.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, flea?" growled Shizuo.

The two nearly had the entire street to themselves now, as most of the surrounding people had left lest they become a victim of one of Shizuo and Izaya's violent fights. Or, seeing how Shizuo was there, become a projectile. Really, neither was a particularly desirable fate.

Shizuo reached up to pry Izaya's knife away from his throat, and Izaya giggled as irritatingly as he knew how at the care the ex-bartender took to not hurt him. For a monster, Shizuo had been incredibly docile lately, and the informant took a secret pride in knowing that he was the direct cause of such a change. A calm Shizuo was still exciting as long as Izaya knew he was the one holding the strings.

"Aw, I just want to talk to my lovely Shizu-chan," pouted Izaya, taking a few steps away from the taller man and holding his flickblade before him.

Izaya really would have rather had this discussion with Shizuo in private, but having to communicate with the brute while an audience watched made things a little more exciting. Plus, the way Shizuo's expression slowly changed from confused to frustrated was absolutely priceless.

Heart speeding up with uncertainty, Izaya just hoped that Shizuo knew it was an act. The last thing he wanted to do was have to hurt the other man. Well, no, Shizuo would be just fine if Izaya had to cut and stab him a couple times. Izaya's main concern was that Shizuo might hurt _him_, as the informant had not been cursed with the monstrous body of his… friend.

"I don't talk to fleas," growled Shizuo.

"But I haven't seen you in over twenty-four hours, Shizu-chan! I'm going to forgot what that terrible voice of yours sounds like when you're yelling in rage," Izaya replied with a sneer, circling Shizuo carefully as the other man began eyeing the area around them for a viable weapon.

Shizuo's gaze froze on a row of newspaper dispensers, still full and heavy with the paper from that day. That crazed grin of his – the one Izaya would never admit always sent a thrill through his body no matter how much he had missed it lately – tugged at the corner of the bodyguard's face as he walked over casually and pulled one of the metal boxes from the ground, holding it high over his head.

"Shut the fuck up already, Izaya-kun~ I told you, I don't talk to disgusting, little louses," Shizuo growled, leaning back as he prepared to throw the newspaper dispenser.

Shit, the Neanderthal was actually going to attack Izaya, wasn't he? So much for talking.

"That's hardly fair, Shizu-chan," giggled Izaya, and before he could get another word out of his mouth, several pounds of heavy, tetanus-laden metal were hurtling towards him.

The informant sighed and stepped out of the way just before the box hit him, surprised that Shizuo had actually aimed to hit. The monster couldn't really be too dense to see that Izaya wasn't being serious, could he?

"After all," the brunet continued as if he hadn't been so rudely interrupted by a flying newspaper dispenser, "I'm able to find enough patience in my heart to listen to the utterances of a partially evolved primate such as yourself, so the least you could do is return the favor."

One of Shizuo's eyebrows twitched, and he went to arm himself with another newspaper dispenser. What few people had been left watching them were now beginning to hurry away, sensing that Heiwajima Shizuo was about to snap and go into a blind rage. Izaya himself was even beginning to feel a little concerned. And angry, he certainly couldn't forget that.

Not only was Shizuo not holding back, but _he_ had been the one to seek Izaya out! And after he had kissed the informant, no less.

"Shizu-chan, get a grip," Izaya snapped under his breath, but he was pretty sure Shizuo hadn't heard him over the sound of metal being pulled from concrete.

Patience finally running out, Izaya ran at Shizuo, knife at the ready. If Shizuo had to get hurt so he would stop trying to crush Izaya, then that was just the way things would have to be. Besides, who knew how many people might still be watching them from the streets and surrounding buildings?

They couldn't very well just stop fighting and walk away chatting like old friends. If Izaya and Shizuo's various acquaintances knew about their relationship, then that was fine by him, but the thought of _all_ of Ikebukuro knowing that Izaya had gone soft made the informant wary.

Shizuo tensed, prepared to throw the newest dispenser at Izaya, and the brunet made the fatal mistake of hesitating for just a moment. Izaya's eyes widened as he took a second glance at Shizuo's face. It had looked like-

Was Shizuo hurt? Izaya nearly stumbled over his own feet as he stared at the look on the blond's face that was both sad and infuriated, Shizuo's eyes swimming with an emotion Izaya couldn't place.

Before the informant could contemplate the curious expression any further, his vision was blocked out by a garishly orange newspaper dispenser.

* * *

Shizuo hadn't meant to aim right for Izaya's face.

But perhaps part of him had figured that the louse would simply dodge it like he did all the other times. Shizuo knew that he had done it out of anger, though.

At first, the ex-bartender had just thought that Izaya was messing with him, acting for the people milling about around them so that no one would suspect the recent change in their relationship. However, as Shizuo had focused on that smirk of Izaya's – the cold one full of malice that he hated – and listened to the flea's degrading words, he had feared that everything that had happened in the past two weeks was only a dream.

How could he have ever been so stupid? Of course Izaya was just toying with him! Just like the rest of the human population, Izaya would only ever see Shizuo as another amusing puppet to play with until it broke.

That thought alone had been enough for Shizuo to shift his target to the brunet's head.

Horror twisted Shizuo's heart as Izaya unexpectedly froze, his dark brown eyes wide with concern.

What the fuck was the louse doing? If he didn't move, he was going to be…!

Shizuo couldn't get himself to yell quickly enough for Izaya to get out of the way, because in the next instant, Izaya had been thrown to the ground. The heavy dispenser that had done the deed rolled away miserably, leaving an unmoving Izaya in its wake.

"Izaya?" called Shizuo as he ran over to the louse, dropping into a crouch on the pavement beside him and leaning over the informant's face.

A rather unsightly bruise was forming along the side of Izaya's neck and what little of his collarbone Shizuo could see, and the flea's face was utterly expressionless, not even twisted in pain as he lay there in the street.

Dread cast a grim cloud over Shizuo's mind, and the bodyguard reached out to gingerly hold Izaya's face between his hands.

"Izaya, a-are you…? C'mon, you've been through worse than this…" urged Shizuo nervously, hating how shaky his voice sounded.

Izaya couldn't actually be… dead, could he?

Warm air ghosted over one of Shizuo's hands as it moved slowly down Izaya's face, and the older man brought his hand back up so that it rested just beneath Izaya's nose.

It was shallow, but Izaya was still breathing.

Shizuo sighed with relief, unable to believe that he had let himself get so worked up just because the flea had been knocked unconscious. Of course, it had never happened before, but there was a first time for everything.

"Huh… I guess you won't be waking up anytime soon, flea," remarked Shizuo as he wondered what the fuck he was supposed to do with the unconscious man.

A quiet whispering reached Shizuo's ears from a short ways down the street, and he turned his head to see a pair of excited teenagers talking to each other while staring at him and Izaya. Why the hell were they still here? He felt like he had seen them before, but fuck if he cared to remember right now.

One of them, a girl wearing all black, seemed to brighten when she noticed Shizuo staring at them, and she called out loudly enough so that he could hear.

"See that, Yumacchi~? I knew there was something going on between them! Now Shizu-chan's going to have to take Iza-chan back to his place, where he'll realize his love for him! Just like in Gentle Cage," she said gleefully, while her friend stared at Shizuo nervously.

"Erika, there's no way-"

"Are you doubting my flawless BL senses?" she asked with disbelief.

Shizuo scowled at the two of them, hating the noise they were making as he tried to focus on the problem at hand, and he growled a curse under his breath. The boy – and the seemingly smart one of the pair – flinched and grabbed his friend's arm, dragging her away, though she didn't stop ranting at him about the beauty of BL or whatever until they were out of Shizuo's hearing range.

"What the hell is wrong with kids these days?" grumbled Shizuo to Izaya, even though he knew there was no way the brunet could hear him, "Don't know when to leave someone alone…"

Though that girl _had_ presented a very simple solution to Shizuo's problem. As nervous as it made Shizuo to show Izaya his apartment (especially after he had seen the place where the louse lived!), it was really his only option other than leaving Izaya in the street or carrying him all the way back to his place in Shinjuku, where they were certain to be spotted by multiple people.

And the last thing Shizuo wanted anyone to see was him helping the man everyone still thought was his mortal enemy. At least Shizuo's apartment wasn't far, as he had already been running in that direction anyway.

Running a hand over his face, Shizuo groaned to himself.

"You probably planned this, you goddamned, manipulative, evil…" he trailed off, still muttering a string of curses at the unconscious informant as he glanced around to see who was still watching them.

A few pedestrians wandering by gave them a strange look, but scurried away as soon as they saw the furious glare being given to them by Ikebukuro's Strongest Man.

Perfect.

As carefully as he could, Shizuo placed one of his arms around Izaya's shoulders and the other under the flea's knees. It would be simpler – and much less suspicious – for Shizuo to simply sling Izaya over his shoulder, but Shizuo wasn't sure how that might affect the informant's rapidly darkening bruise.

That Shizuo had given him, the ex-bartender thought with a grimace as he stood from his crouch, holding Izaya against his chest.

Well, even if he had been the cause for Izaya's injury and his current state of unconsciousness, at least Shizuo was doing his best to help the flea now!

Still grumbling under his breath about idiot fleas, his sense of chivalry, and the nerve of the universe for doing this to him when he had just wanted to go home and get some rest, Shizuo made his way to his apartment.

* * *

**Hurrhurr 8D Ch13 is already a lot of fun, and I've only written one scene XD Not much to say this time since I need to go to bed early tonight so I'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for the HARRY POTTERRR PREMIER! tomorrow night. ...I'm kind of really excited! :D**

** Thank you so much for reading! ^ ^ Comment if you'd like, or don't if it doesn't strike your fancy, but comments make me all sorts of crazy happy! Anyhow, have a lovely weekend, you cool cats~! (and I hope those of you who are going to the midnight premier are as excited as I am! XD)**


	13. Chapter 13A

**This is officially the longest chapter in the entire fic x_x Unlike ch.10/11 which I sort of think of as the same chapter, but can still be considered separate entities, I have actually split ch.13 into two parts, so they will be labeled accordingly. I really wanted to just keep going with ch.13, but it was getting _way_ too long, and then you guys would have been waiting even longer for an update 8D; Now on to the title chapter~**

**As always, thanks so much for all of the wonderful feedback, you guys! :) You have no idea how happy it makes me ;u; (or how much it motivates me!) And thank you to my lurvely beta, _pssty~_**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own DRRR!._  
_**

* * *

For the first time since Shizuo had ever met Izaya, he understood the harsh reality of his situation.

He had only just returned from the streets of Ikebukuro, carrying Izaya protectively the entire way to his apartment as though waiting to be attacked by some hidden enemy. There had been curious and confused stares following after him, but all Shizuo cared about was getting the brunet to safety.

Let the public think whatever the hell they wanted.

Izaya now lay on the sofa in Shizuo's living room with the former bartender kneeling on the floor beside him. The informant's face was relaxed, for once devoid of that arrogant grin. His chest rose and fell gently, giving no indication of how much pain he might have been in.

Looking at the bruise again – which had only grown worse over the past twenty minutes – Shizuo grimaced. He hadn't really meant to do it, hadn't really thought about his actions, and yet he had hurt Izaya so easily. Izaya might have thought he was some all-powerful god who lived high above his mortal puppets in the safety of his Shinjuku apartment, but the truth was that Izaya was just as human as his "toys".

His bones could be broken, he could bleed, and he could certainly be killed just as any other human.

And there was Shizuo's problem.

The ex-bartender sighed, swearing under his breath as he pulled off his sunglasses and set them on the coffee table behind him. As calm as he had felt in the past two weeks, he still shouldn't have forgotten what he was.

A monster.

He had been stupid enough to believe that he might actually be able to have a close relationship with someone, something beyond friendship.

"Heh, I guess you were right about me, flea. I really _am_ a protozoan or whatever," he chuckled, reaching out to lay one of his hands against Izaya's cheek and stopping just in time, his arm suspended towards the smaller man.

What the fuck was he thinking? That's what had gotten him in this mess in the first place.

Shizuo was a monster, he remembered that now. He had always known his strength would keep him from having an intimate relationship with anyone, and now he knew the price of forgetting such a crucial truth.

As much as the blond would like to believe it, he and Izaya were not equals. The informant might have been brilliant in ways Shizuo could never imagine, but all of that intelligence was completely useless to Izaya when he was faced with an opponent like Shizuo. Izaya could formulate as many complex, manipulative plans as he liked, but a single well-aimed hit from Shizuo would stop him before he could even get a single one of his machinations in motion.

In this case, the belief that brains could win against brawn could not have been more wrong.

Izaya made a small sound in the back of his throat, and Shizuo's gaze darted back up to the informant from where it had drifted to the floor. Izaya had jerked just slightly, his body trying to curl in on itself, before stilling once again, the furrow that had appeared momentarily between his brows vanishing once more.

God, how had he never noticed how incredibly _fragile_ the other man was?

"I'm really sorry, Izaya," said Shizuo softly, terrified that Izaya might wake up and that he would have to face him.

The bodyguard got to his feet slowly, figuring he might as well go shower while he waited for the flea to come back around. Shizuo was only a few steps from the bathroom when he paused, scowling in thought, and turned around.

Izaya just looked so goddamned pitiful where he lay alone and unconscious on the sofa, his white jacket folded up on the coffee table beside him. Groaning at his own inability to stay away from the informant like he decided he should, Shizuo went back into the living room just long enough to scour out a blanket for Izaya and drape it across his body.

He smiled contentedly to himself as he stared down at the brunet. Izaya wasn't so irritating when he was like this…

In fact, Shizuo thought he might even look cuter than he normally did.

Before his thoughts could drift anywhere else, Shizuo shook his head and walked away from where the flea lay on the sofa. He would deal with it once Izaya was awake!

Until then, he really just needed to clear his head.

* * *

Something was lying on top of him; that was the very first thing Izaya was aware of when he finally came to. It was a soft, light warmth on his chest that – while not completely uncomfortable – was unnerving.

He moved to shove whatever the hell it was that had decided to take a nap on him off, sitting up not even half an inch when he went absolutely rigid, hands digging into the sofa cushions below him as he bit his lip to stifle a curse.

Holy _fuck-_

Had an entire troupe of circus elephants been tap-dancing on his shoulder while he was out? Izaya groaned in frustration and fell back against the sofa while reaching up to feel the afflicted area.

His fingers prodded at his skin gingerly, only causing him to wince further from the sharp stabs of pain the movement sent across his shoulder and neck. Somehow, the informant had received what felt like the world's worst contusion. Izaya felt his lip twitch into a snarl as he tried to remember the asshole who had done this to him–

Wait. Where the hell was he?

Izaya froze as he realized the situation he as in. The worst possible nightmare for an informant was to end up in some unknown location, so of course Izaya had the great fortune to not only wake up injured, but in an unfamiliar place no less!

As quickly as he could, and while trying to draw the least amount of attention to himself (because who knew what sort of people could be lurking about?), the brunet began to do what he did best. The first thing he noticed about the room he was in was the overwhelming smell of cigarette smoke, though he didn't find it unpleasant as it seemed familiar to him.

The room itself was decorated very modestly, the couch Izaya was laying on being perhaps the most expensive furniture in the vicinity, leading the informant to believe that whoever lived here was not affluent, but no slob either. Only two feet away from the sofa was an old coffee table, on which Izaya instantly noticed his coat – the one Shizuo had given to him – sat neatly folded.

Izaya's heart began to race as he remembered that his knife was in one of the coat pockets, and he wondered if he might be able to lean across the small divide between the table and the sofa without making too much of a sound. Judging by the stiff state his left shoulder was in, though, the brunet knew that whatever movements he made would surely give him away.

How the fuck had he let himself get into such a terrible situation?

A faint rumbling against Izaya's chest piqued his curiosity, and the informant pushed himself up on his right arm as much as he could so that he was able to get a look at the creature using him as its own personal pillow.

Forgetting the pain of his injury, the brunet sat up eagerly, reaching down to scoop the mass of fur into his arms.

"Well, hello there~" Izaya murmured affectionately, peering into the dark eyes of a very lanky black cat, "Do _you_ know where the hell I am right now?"

The cat stared back at Izaya boredly, blinking its eyes once in a way that told the informant the creature would much rather get back to its rudely interrupted nap than listen to him prattle.

Izaya smirked and set the animal back down in his lap, stroking the top of its head absentmindedly – careful not to use his left hand – as he lapsed into thought. Whoever had brought him here was either a genius or incredibly stupid. If he had been kidnapped for the purpose of being pressed for information, then it was smart that his kidnapper was allowing him to go unbothered for a little while before the interrogation began. Not that it mattered either way to Izaya, but most people were more willing to crack if they had been treated considerately by their captors.

_Or_ whoever had kidnapped him didn't know the first thing about Orihara Izaya and had foolishly left him unattended. Only time would tell, he supposed. He could get up to explore the rest of the building, but not only did the left side of his body ache like a bitch, but there was always the danger of there being guards stationed outside of wherever the hell he was.

Given the options of "wait and see" and "get shot at", Izaya definitely knew which was the better choice.

The cat in his lap began to squirm, and Izaya sighed, laying his head against the back of the sofa and moving his hand away from the creature.

"This is exactly why I love cats," he chuckled, still careful to keep his voice low, "All of you are stubborn and selfish, and you can't be forced to do anything you don't want to do, but that only makes you predictable in the end… Those who act only out of self-interest become quite boring after a while like my humans. So I suppose I should now profess to hate cats…?"

Izaya trailed off thoughtfully, glad for the company even if his particular companion made for a rather one-sided conversation. It was easier to forget that he was in completely unfamiliar territory when he had something to think about.

He pulled the wriggling animal back towards him, cradling it against his chest with his good arm as he continued to think aloud.

"That must mean I love dogs now," the cat glanced up at Izaya in a manner he decided was incredulous, and he laughed a little too loudly, "No, you're right. That's pushing it. I can't respect something that is predictable from the start because it acts only to please others. Though I think it's rather sad dogs spend their entire lives proving they are worthy of love, whereas a creature such as yourself feels the compulsion to prove nothing and is loved anyway…"

Izaya's dark surroundings suddenly seemed not so dark: Both literally and figuratively. Somewhere down the nearby hallway, a door had been opened and light flooded the room, and Izaya realized he didn't even need the light to get a better look at where he was.

He knew. His contemplation to the cat in his arms reminded him of the asshole who had done this to him and the circumstances of Izaya's ending up in such a mysterious location.

"Y'know, that sounds just like Shizu-chan and I~ Though I could never imagine him being so cheerful and energetic all the time!" Izaya giggled, no longer caring to stifle his voice as he heard the sound of bare feet padding across the wood floor of the adjacent hallway.

Grinning, Izaya called out to the person behind him:

"I never took you to be a cat person, Shizu-chan~!"

* * *

When Shizuo left the bathroom, he wasn't at all surprised to see that Izaya was finally awake. He was, however, very surprised that the informant was still there. He had assumed that Izaya would have left as soon as he regained consciousness, too angry or disgusted with Shizuo to want to stick around and talk.

"I'm not," he replied easily, smiling as he noted that Izaya sounded just fine.

"The little hairball showed up one day and wouldn't leave. He's too stubborn for his own good. Kind of like someone else I know…" Shizuo whispered the last part to himself, though he could tell Izaya had heard him by the way the informant glanced over his shoulder and smirked at him.

Shizuo's heart fell as he saw the smaller man's bruise. How could he have been so _stupid?_ Izaya had had plenty of opportunities to get in a couple of nasty stabs when they had been fighting earlier, and yet he hadn't tried to hurt Shizuo once.

If the ex-bartender had never felt like a total asshole before, he certainly did now.

"Eh~? So even my Shizu-chan is capable of acts of kindness," – Shizuo glanced away awkwardly at Izaya's harmless "my", feeling himself blush – "What's his name?"

Izaya sounded much too intrigued by the idea of Shizuo being responsible for another creature. How much could the informant really find out about him because of a stupid cat?

Any amusement he felt about the brunet's strange mind instantly dissipated when Shizuo realized what Izaya had just asked. Oh, god. The name that had been intended as a sort of revenge for the terrible nickname Izaya had given him all those years ago was no longer so hilarious. Shizuo knew Izaya would read too much into it and think that the former bartender had some sort of bizarre fascination with him or something…

Which, too be fair, was completely true, but the last thing Shizuo needed was Orihara Izaya knowing that his former enemy and now friend liked him a bit more than he should.

"It's uh…" Shizuo scratched the back of his neck nervously, frustrated not for the first time with his inability to lie convincingly. Not like it mattered much; the flea would have been able to see through him even if Shizuo had been a mastermind.

"Ooooh~? It's embarrassing, Shizu-chan?" laughed Izaya, rubbing the side of his face against the top of the cat's head and chuckling even more at the way it growled softly at him, "Perhaps his name is something too cute for a man like you. Momo-chan…? No…"

Izaya began to list off a variety of horrific names, but before he could even finish guessing "Cupcake", Shizuo interrupted.

"His name's Iza-chan."

That shut the flea up. His dark eyes grew wide, and an affectionate smile tugged at the corners of his lips. But almost as soon as Shizuo noticed the look, Izaya's face grew calm and unreadable. Shizuo knew that a thoughtful flea was rarely a good thing, and he worried about what new conclusions Izaya could be drawing about him.

"Heh, I'm flattered. But why doesn't he have a collar? Aren't you worried about him getting out?" asked Izaya, pulling his knees closer to his chest to make room on the sofa as Shizuo came over to sit beside him.

"Nah," the blond replied at length, "If he wants to get out, he'll get out. Besides, if I try to collar him, he'll probably just run off anyway."

Surprised by the remark, Izaya's brows furrowed in thought, his eyes no longer focused on the other man, and Shizuo took the opportunity to stare at the informant freely. Despite their previous violent encounter, Izaya didn't look wary of Shizuo at all. The small informant was _too_ relaxed, and Shizuo half wondered if he might be forcing himself to stay as calm as he was.

After all, Izaya had just learned that whether or not he was friends with Shizuo, he wasn't completely safe from the Monster of Ikebukuro. Even right now, the blond could snap at the slightest provocation, and…!

"I don't think he'd mind," Izaya said softly, his eyes still pensive as he watched Iza-chan leap from the sofa and stalk off, "He'd probably be glad to know he belonged somewhere."

Sighing, Shizuo reached over to place his hand on top of the brunet's head, taking his chances with his strength. Though it had taken a few moments, he finally understood the reason for Izaya's sudden withdrawnness.

"We're not talking about the cat anymore, are we?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

Izaya scoffed and looked at Shizuo incredulously, his customary smirk chasing away his quietness.

"Of course we are, Shizu-chan. What else would we be talking about?" mocked the informant as though daring Shizuo to pursue his line of questioning. Even though Shizuo had caught on to exactly what Izaya was saying, he knew the brunet would do everything in his power to still make Shizuo feel like a fool. Anything to keep him from the truth.

The former bartender merely rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through Izaya's hair absentmindedly, loving the way the informant's soft hair felt against his skin. Instead of pulling away like Shizuo had expected, Izaya's eyes fluttered closed and he leaned in to the blond's touch, making a small noise of contentedness in the back of his throat.

Shizuo was tempted to make a remark about who the "docile" one was now, but thought better of it.

He knew that Izaya wouldn't be quite so compliant were it not for the fact that he had just woken up after having been knocked unconscious, but he intended to enjoy the moment for as long as he could.

"Neh, Shizu-chan~?" began Izaya uncertainly, and Shizuo snapped out of his silent reverie. Orihara Izaya was never uncertain about anything.

"Are you ever going to tell me why you kissed me?" he asked.

A tiny smirk was on Izaya's lips, and he opened his eyes just slightly to peer at the other man, but Shizuo knew that Izaya was just trying to play the question off like he didn't really care. Unfortunately for the informant, Shizuo was beginning to believe otherwise.

"Only if you answer something for me first," replied Shizuo, reluctantly pulling his hand away from the brunet.

Izaya tensed and turned his head quickly so that he could focus the full force of his glare on Shizuo. Before he could even snap at Shizuo, though, the informant's venomous expression gave way to a grimace and he reached for his injured shoulder.

"Shit! I'm sorry, Izaya!" said Shizuo, not entirely sure why he was apologizing for the flea's own forgetfulness.

He had reached out reflexively to help the smaller man, but Izaya shoved his hands away.

"No, it's my fault for overestimating a partially-evolved caveman such as yourself," Izaya growled, and though Shizuo knew most of the brunet's malice arose from the pain of his injury and not anger at Shizuo himself, the comment still hurt.

But Izaya _had_ overestimated Shizuo's ability to be close to other people, hadn't he?

"I should have known you aren't one to think of appearances, Shizu-chan. Though I thought even you might have been able to figure out that I wasn't being serious, since I figured you might have actually listened to the things I've been saying to you lately. But I guess you really _are_ a complete idiot. I mean, I almost went so far as to tell you that I…"

Izaya's bitching faded into the background as Shizuo made his way into the kitchen, rolling his eyes as he retrieved a plastic bag from one of the drawers in the room. If this was the only other option, then Shizuo preferred Izaya unconscious.

"Shizu-chan, get back here! I'm not done with you yet!" snapped Izaya.

"Hold on, flea. I'll be back in there in a second, and then you can continue telling me how stupid I am," replied Shizuo over his shoulder as he opened his freezer and began scooping handfuls of ice into the bag.

He heard Izaya mutter a string of particularly severe curses – not all in Japanese – at him, but the other man quieted down for the time being, likely still composing his long argument for why Shizuo was the biggest moron in the universe in his head.

"Sorry, Izaya. You were saying?" Shizuo prompted calmly as he went back into the living room, bag of ice hanging from his hand. He grinned at the way Izaya opened his mouth before instantly snapping it shut as he let his eyes travel to the bag in Shizuo's hand.

"What the hell is that for?" growled Izaya, shifting further back into the cushions of the sofa as the taller man drew near.

"Your bruise, obviously," Shizuo explained with exasperation, "I'm at least smart enough to know that if you don't put something on it now, it's gonna hurt like a bitch tomorrow."

Izaya's eyes narrowed as Shizuo sat down beside him once more and leaned over the smaller man to situate the bag of ice in the crook of his neck, but he didn't move away.

"It already hurts like a bitch," muttered the informant.

He looked like he was about to launch into another attack on Shizuo's character, but the frustration on his face melted away to be replaced by suspicious curiosity. He shifted so that he was sitting up a little straighter against the arm of the narrow sofa, which only brought his face closer to Shizuo's.

"Your stupidity and lack of self-control aside, though, what did you want to ask me?"

* * *

Izaya knew he was making Shizuo uncomfortable with his close proximity, but if he was right – as he always was but for one recent exception – then it would be worth the risk. The ex-bartender's pale eyes went wide for a single moment, and Izaya could see that the other man wanted to move back a little.

He wouldn't, of course, because to do so would be to lose to Izaya of all people. It would also give him away, noted Izaya with a smirk.

"Shizu-chan~?" he chuckled, feeling a bit smug at the way Shizuo jumped.

"I was just wondering, Izaya, and don't get offended if I'm way off the mark, but…"

Shizuo sighed awkwardly and reached up to rest one of his hands on Izaya's good shoulder, his grip tense as he peered searchingly into the younger man's eyes.

"Are you only pretending to be friends with me for some "game" of yours?" he asked seriously, and Izaya could see by the desperation on the blond's face that he hoped it wasn't true, but believed it was.

How _dare_ Shizuo accuse him of pretending! Izaya smacked Shizuo's hand away again.

"Who's pretending, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked coldly.

Had his plan to steal Shizuo's heart been in vain from the very beginning? If the former bartender didn't even believe they were real friends, then how the hell was Izaya ever supposed to get the man to love him?

"I just-"

"Shut up and let me talk, you mindless brute," snapped the informant, unable to understand the burning sensation that was constricting his chest and throat, "We've been through this before, so I don't know who the _fuck_ had the nerve to make you doubt me."

Izaya stopped to take a shuddering breath. His heart was beating frantically against his ribcage, and Izaya's eyes were beginning to sting just slightly. How could he have been so stupid to have any faith in this monster? No matter what he did or what he said, it looked like Shizuo was never going to believe that Izaya didn't have some sort evil master plan in mind.

Unless he finally told Shizuo that he-

"I know, Izaya, but-"

"No, you _don't_ know!" Izaya yelled angrily in Shizuo's face, and the ex-bartender's eyes widened with shock.

Even Izaya himself was surprised by the sudden lack of control he had over his emotions, unable to remember a time when he had allowed himself to get so worked up over anything. He could feel tears of both fury and sadness burning at his eyes, and he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"Why else would I spend so much time with someone as difficult as you, Shizuo?" continued the brunet, "Is it not good enough to know that I was lonely? That I came crawling to you because I felt like I had no one else, because I feel like there's no one else who would ever be able to understand me as well as I used to _think_ you could? I don't have some sort of nefarious plan that I need you for, I just wanted to be around you, Shizuo…"

Shizuo had been stunned into silence, and he was able to do little else than watch as the informant before him broke down. Izaya was shaking now, trying to catch his breath, but he couldn't stop now that he had already begun.

"I don't hate you anymore, I've already told you that! The reason I started hanging out with you, why I wanted to be friends, isn't because I want to make your life miserable. It's because I really, _really_ like you, Shizuo, and I just wish y–"

Izaya wasn't really sure what the hell he had been about to say, and he would never find out, because the feeling of Shizuo's lips sealing over his mouth effectively silenced all of his thoughts.

Though Shizuo was biting at Izaya's lips roughly, demanding entry, he was still incredibly gentle; his hands came up to cup the informant's face, careful to keep from jostling Izaya's shoulder or neck. Izaya hesitated for a moment as Shizuo's tongue swiped over his lower lip before he parted his lips for the other man, barely stifling an appreciative hum as Shizuo began to thoroughly explore his mouth.

Izaya appreciated Shizuo's thoughtfulness at being so careful with him in his injured state, but the relief he felt at the ex-bartender's seemingly renewed faith in him made him desperate for more. He tangled one of his hands in Shizuo's hair, pulling him closer as their tongues danced in a heated battle, neither willing to pull away.

A warm hand had moved down and was now sneaking up Izaya's shirt, long fingers memorizing every inch of the brunet's skin they could reach.

"Ah…!" Izaya finally broke the kiss with a gasp, laying his head back against the arm of the sofa and panting as he tried to catch his breath.

W-what the hell was going on here? Surely he was dreaming, because there was no way he had somehow achieved checkmate so easily. Shizuo couldn't possibly already have any real feelings for him… Especially not after the way he had been doubting the informant's intentions.

"Sh-shizu-chan…" giggled the brunet uneasily, placing one of his hands over the older man's mouth as Shizuo leaned over to reattach himself to Izaya, though this time to his neck.

Shizuo's eyes cleared of their passionate haze, and Izaya felt as though his heart were stuck in his throat. No one had ever looked at him like that before…

The informant blushed when Shizuo reached up to pull his hand away, lightly running his lips across Izaya's palm.

G-goddammit! Izaya wanted to talk, but the stupid brute leaning over him kept making him lose his train of thought!

"You never answered my question, Shizu-chan," reminded Izaya, voice completely serious.

Shizuo smiled at him from behind the hand he still held captive, and Izaya felt his face heat up. He couldn't look away from that affectionate smile even if he tried.

"I thought you were smart, flea," Shizuo said, his tone low in a way that made a pleasant shiver run up Izaya's spine.

And then, before the informant could squirm away, Shizuo leaned over so that he was pinning the smaller man down with his body, his breath tickling Izaya's ear as he whispered:

"I really, _really_ like you, too, you goddamned flea. Do I need a better reason to kiss you?"

Izaya blinked with surprise, staring past the mess of blond hair in his line of sight to stare at the plain ceiling of Shizuo's apartment, too dazed to speak. He still kept a hand pressed firmly against Shizuo's chest to keep the ex-bartender from distracting him.

This was what Izaya had wanted, what he had been carefully playing towards for the past two weeks, so why didn't he feel happy? He had intended to make Shizuo fall for him so that he wouldn't be falling alone, and he had gotten what he wanted, yet he felt like crying.

Just as Shizuo had believed Izaya's friendship with him was a lie, Izaya now had trouble believing that the other man had actually come to feel anything for him other than apathetic obligation. No one had ever liked him before, why should anyone start now?

"No," responded Izaya quietly, "But you're lying to me, Shizu-chan. Why the hell would you like someone like me?"

* * *

Shizuo's heart twisted at the way Izaya pushed him back. Moments ago, he had been overwhelmed by happiness at the flea's confession and that he had somehow found the courage to accept him. It had seemed as though, for once, everything was going his way.

Perhaps like everything in Shizuo's life, though, it was too good to be true. Izaya was already regretting the words he had accidentally let slip. Shizuo almost backed off, hurt by what he thought was rejection, but froze when he noticed the sadness on Izaya's face, the way his beautiful eyes looked anywhere but at Shizuo as he worried his bottom lip with his teeth.

"I like you _because_ you're someone like you," said Shizuo as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Izaya scowled, huffing slightly in frustration.

"That doesn't make any sense. You hate people like me: me in particular, really. You're honest, and you're not one to do something because of an ulterior motive. Even if you were cursed with monstrous strength, you can be gentle and kind when you want to. You're everything I'm not, Shizu-chan. I could understand you hanging out with me because you felt some sort of unnecessary responsibility for my loneliness, or because you're just too nice to say no, but to say you _like_ me… I don't believe it," Izaya said quickly, sounding more and more certain of what he was saying as he went on.

This goddamn flea really thought Shizuo was lying to him, huh? Shizuo laughed, surprising Izaya and causing him to tense at the inappropriate reaction.

"Shizu-ch-"

Pushing Izaya's hand off of his chest, Shizuo leaned in again to capture Izaya's lips, smothering his irritated question. The informant squirmed underneath him, trying to either wriggle off of the sofa and onto the floor, or to somehow shove the strongest man in all of Ikebukuro off of him. Shizuo pulled away when Izaya kneed him roughly in the stomach, though he was still grinning down stupidly at the flea.

As Izaya looked too afraid to speak lest Shizuo molest him again, Shizuo decided he might as well explain himself.

Haha, _Shizuo_ having to explain something to the _flea?_ The ex-bartender thought he'd never see the day.

"Unlike you, Izaya, I don't enjoy manipulating other people. I've got no reason to lie to you about this. Besides…" he muttered, scratching at the back of his neck awkwardly, "it's embarrassing."

Izaya didn't even look offended like Shizuo had expected, far too focused on his words to react to the slight insult. Shizuo smirked a smirk devilish enough to be worthy of Izaya as he registered that not only did the flea not understand something, but he was speechless.

Perhaps Shizuo would have to start dropping confessions to the informant left and right if they got him to react so wonderfully.

"And you and me aren't as different as you think, flea. Yeah, you're kind of a dick, you've got a weird god complex, and you like screwing with other people for fun, but you have feelings just like everyone else. You've got a grating personality," – at this, Izaya _did_ react, grimacing as though Shizuo had just kicked him – ,"and I'm too strong for my own good. We're both unable to get close to others because of things we can't change, and so we've always been alone."

Waking up from his surprised daze, Shizuo could see Izaya make the connection in his mind, his eyebrows rising just slightly and an intelligent light glimmering behind his eyes as he stared up at Shizuo with a new appreciation. The informant's hands, shaking ever-so-slightly, came up to grip the front of Shizuo's vest, pulling him closer so that the blond's forehead rested against his own.

Shizuo smiled gently and wrapped one of his hands over Izaya's, rubbing soothing circles on the back of the brunet's hand with his thumb.

"But I guess we've always somehow been together in our loneliness. While everyone else went on with life around us, able to form relationships we couldn't even dream of having for ourselves, me and you only had each other. And I think that's part of the reason why we've always chased after each other," Shizuo said thoughtfully, peering down into the smaller man's eyes as though he might be able to help Izaya understand what he was saying through his gaze alone.

"We chased each other out of hatred, Shizuo," Izaya replied, the light in his eyes snuffing out almost as quickly as it had sparked. Shizuo's line of reasoning had made sense to him until this point, and the bodyguard's heart beat loudly in his ears, madly, deafeningly, as he tried to think of a way to get such a logical man to understand such illogical, emotional reasoning.

"Maybe at one point," conceded the blond, "I think most of it was out of fear, though. We were afraid, Izaya, because we didn't understand each other, but we still caught glimpses of ourselves in each other."

Izaya was silent for a long moment, turning this absurd logic over in his head, before a sneer curled his lip. He was, in typical Izaya fashion, about to respond derisively to hide his true feelings, to insult and enrage Shizuo so that the other man wouldn't realize how close he was to the truth.

He was afraid. Afraid because Shizuo had realized the truth before he had, and Shizuo knew it. Afraid because it _was_ the truth.

Shizuo once more silenced Izaya with a kiss, this time much gentler, more of a caress of lips than any sort of passionate clash of teeth and tongues. Instead of going rigid as he had before, Izaya's body relaxed against his as the informant found comfort in the gesture, and his hands moved from the front of Shizuo's vest to his shoulders.

"I wanted to destroy you because I was scared," murmured Shizuo when he pulled away, Izaya following after him before he stopped himself, "Here was a guy who hadn't been cursed like I had, and yet he pushed everyone away from him, happy to seclude himself from the rest of society and treat everyone else like his personal playthings like he was some kind of god. But sometimes, Izaya, I caught on to you. I understood you because you and I are the same.

"You were as desperate as I was to be accepted, to be loved, and you were doing the only thing you knew how to get that. I send others running, perhaps because a part of me is afraid that they will still see me as a monster even after they get close. And then there's _you_ that thinks you need to force yourself on all of humanity because you believe you're more than human. Because if you're different from the rest of us, you can't possibly be expected to associate with us. Both of us push others away – each other away – because we're afraid of being found out, afraid that someone will see us for the monsters we are. But once I recognized the same motivation that I had in someone like _you_, I had to kill you. I refused to believe that I could share _anything_ with you, and it scared me to think that I might one day become something like you…"

As Shizuo spoke, his head had come to rest against Izaya's shoulder, unable to look at the brunet's horrified eyes as he spoke. The bodyguard felt like he was carefully dissecting Izaya layer-by-layer, laying him out for examination and learning things about the informant that Izaya himself had never known, never realized until the truth was being shoved in his face.

"Everyone's the same if you put it like that, Shizu-chan," Izaya murmured, his words muffled as he spoke into the ex-bartender's hair, "Everyone wants to be loved, but to be loved means revealing one's self to another, and no one wants that. Especially when they are – as you so aptly put – a monster."

His fingers pulled at the fabric of Shizuo's shirt, fingernails biting into the skin of the blond's back as he laughed uneasily, whole body shivering with what Shizuo guessed must be anxiety.

So no one had ever quite figured out the flea like he had before, huh? A pleased smile tugged at Shizuo's lips and he ran the tip of his nose along the side of Izaya's neck affectionately, doing his best to calm the tense informant.

"But most people are able to attach themselves to more than one person. Few people are as twisted as we are, Izaya. You're the only person I can't scare away with my strength, and I'm probably the only person alive that you can't manipulate. We've spent so much of our lives trying to kill each other, but it looks like the only one either of us is able to get close to is the other," Shizuo chuckled.

The ex-bartender lapsed into nervous silence. Now that he had said all that he had wanted to say, he was worried that Izaya would laugh at him for being so confident in his bizarre theory about their relationship. The laughter never came and neither did the barrage of criticisms Shizuo was expecting.

Instead, Izaya's hands only tightened their grip on him, and the informant buried his face into the crook of Shizuo's neck, shoulders convulsing in what the older man was afraid might be crying.

"Sh-shizu-chan~"

The way the brunet's breath tickled the skin of Shizuo's neck told him that Izaya was not, in fact, crying at all, but rather-

The information broker's forced laughter filled the silent room, invading every single lonely space until Shizuo's apartment was practically a symphony of Izaya's stressed catharsis.

"How could I have ever thought you were an idiot?" breathed Izaya helplessly, opening his dark eyes to peer at Shizuo with both mirth and relief, "Where have you been hiding that brilliance all this time, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo wasn't sure whether or not he should be frustrated or relieved. He was glad Izaya seemed so accepting of the whole thing, but a little irritated that the flea wasn't giving him the serious response he had been hoping for after giving him such a lengthy explanation for why the hell the ex-bartender liked him.

Before he could voice his opinion on the matter, Izaya's laughter suddenly cut off.

* * *

**I'm so sorry this section is so dialogue-heavy ;n; And from Shizuo, no less! Ugh. Well, at least I can assure you guys that ch.13B is considerably... er... less wordy... 8) ALSO. Celty and Shinra make an appearance, so look forward to it~ Now I'm off to go get some sleep so I can be well-rested for Thanksgiving tomorrow... today (whatever XD)!**

**Thanks so much for reading! :) Review if you'd like, or don't if it doesn't strike your fancy~ Either way, HAVE A LOVELY THURSDAY!  
**


	14. Chapter 13B

**Wow, almost two weeks since the last chapter D: I am so, so sorry! Real life was getting me down, and I've been out of town for most of the past two weeks. I hope this chapter was well worth the wait! :) As always, thank you all for the wonderful reviews and alerts! (and thanks to my beta, _pssty_~)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned DRRR!, episode 25 would already be out!  
**

* * *

Izaya had finally gotten what he wanted.

Shizuo had confessed to at least accepting him as a person, hell, the man who was normally one of few words had practically given him a lecture on why it made perfect sense that the two of them should be together.

So why the fuck wasn't Izaya content?

The way his throat tightened when he considered the blond's explanation of their mutual fear of one another was his only answer. Izaya was almost one-hundred percent certain that Shizuo's theory was fact, that maybe they had never actually hated each other in the first place. Or at least they hadn't hated only for hatred's sake.

But now Izaya was afraid of something entirely different. He wasn't concerned with any shared similarities between Shizuo and himself. A much more terrifying thought was that-

"As profound as your explanation was, Shizu-chan, you know you'll only leave me as soon as you realize what sort of monster I really am. Though I don't hold the opinion myself, I am what most people – including you – consider a terrible person," Izaya reminded him coldly, shifting his face away from Shizuo and holding on to the other man tightly as the ex-bartender tried to get a good look at him, to observe and gauge his emotions.

Izaya hated being observed. _He_ was the informant, and the last thing he would let anyone else do was analyze him. Especially when he was in such a state, when all of his masks had been broken…

"I don't think you're a terrible person," said Shizuo with a smile, "Besides, you've already manipulated most of 'Bukuro into a three-way gang war, you framed me for a crime I didn't commit, and I'm pretty sure you work with the yakuza. I've seen what you can do, and though I don't forgive you for any of it, I somehow still like you. You're not the image of kindness, Izaya, that's true, but you're not a bad guy either. You just do bad things."

Heh, what sort of twisted logic was that? Maybe Izaya had complimented Shizuo's intelligence too soon.

"Some people might argue that it's a man's actions that decide whether or not he's bad, Shizu-chan," Izaya noted, finally pulling away from the other man so that he could smirk at him.

Izaya's frantic heartbeat was beginning to calm down as he focused not on Shizuo's words but his presence. The bitter scent of the blond's cigarettes, the warmth of Shizuo's body against his own, and the soft rumble in Shizuo's chest whenever he spoke were all proof of one very relieving fact: Shizuo was still there with him.

Izaya hadn't been kicked out yet no matter how much he tried to convince the brute they were totally unfit for each other. That definitely counted for something in Izaya's mind.

"We're not "some people"," replied Shizuo with a shrug, "For whatever reasons you'd like to believe, I don't think you're evil, and I like you. That's all there really is to it."

Finished with talking, the ex-bartender leaned in to kiss Izaya again, but the informant backed up, placing his hands on the armrest behind him so that he could lift himself up.

"Wait, Shizu-chan…"

Shizuo hummed in response, bringing his hands up to rest on either side of Izaya. The informant's heart jumped to his throat as he realized their compromising position, with Shizuo trapping him between his arms, straddling his legs. It would be impossible for Izaya to get away if he wanted.

Fortunately for the brunet, he didn't plan on going anywhere.

"What if you realize the mistake you're making?" he whispered, his eyes widening when Shizuo wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back down onto the cushions of the sofa.

"I'm not," Shizuo replied simply before capturing Izaya's bottom lip in his teeth again and making any further argument impossible.

* * *

Shizuo grinned against Izaya's lips when the flea whimpered at the sudden contact. He had played by the informant's rules long enough; he had expressed himself with words the best he could, so now it was time that he be allowed to show how he felt with his own medium of choice.

Besides, what was it people said? "Actions speak louder than words" or some shit?

Izaya tensed beneath him, and the blond readied himself for the sting of rejection when Izaya would surely try to shove him off. However, the informant merely shifted so that Shizuo could lie more comfortably between his legs.

Shizuo groaned in appreciation as Izaya pulled him closer, his hands gripping roughly at the back of Shizuo's shirt. The bodyguard reached up to once more slide his hand underneath the flea's shirt, and Izaya gasped at the contact, his cool breath tickling Shizuo's lips.

In the brief moment Izaya had his lips parted, Shizuo slipped his tongue into the brunet's mouth, and Izaya's grip on him grew almost painful.

The way Izaya shivered and emitted small, breathy gasps at each movement and touch of Shizuo's was probably one of the sexiest things the former bartender had ever witnessed. The only thing Shizuo was dissatisfied with in that moment was the fact that he and the flea had wasted so much of their lives on less pleasurable activities.

If Shizuo ever had to choose between chasing the informant out of his city or doing _this,_ there was no contest.

His fingers took their time inching up the soft, perfect expanse of Izaya's torso, roving over each and every lithe muscle in the other man's body. Izaya hissed a curse as one of Shizuo's fingers dipped experimentally into his navel, and the blond smirked gleefully at his new discovery.

"You're really sensitive here, huh?" chuckled the blond.

Izaya's eyes narrowed at the remark, though the look was somewhat ruined by the bright pink blush working its way across his face and – much to Shizuo's amusement – the tips of his ears.

"You really _are_ a geniu– _ah!_"

The informant didn't get to finish his defensively snide remark, as Shizuo had moved down Izaya's body so that he could dip his tongue into the shallow crevice his fingers had just been teasing. Shizuo nipped at the sensitive skin of Izaya's stomach, and the smaller man made a very un-Izaya sound, caught somewhere between a moan and a sob.

"Shizu-ch_aaah_…nh! S-stop," whined Izaya, his hands contradicting his words as he finally cut into Shizuo's skin with his nails in an attempt to pull the other man closer.

"I would if I thought you really wanted me to, I-za-ya-_kun_," Shizuo laughed, adoring the way the flea scowled at the way he said his name.

Izaya didn't bother arguing with him, instead laying his head back against the arm rest of the sofa and exposing his pale throat as his fingers moved up to tug at Shizuo's hair, urging him on.

Shizuo smiled at the other man's reaction. Even while doing something like this, Izaya was full of contradictions.

Deciding that Izaya's neck – whilst beautiful in its flawlessness – was a bit too unmarked for his liking, Shizuo slowly began to make his way up the flea's body, lapping at Izaya's skin as he moved and reveling in the reluctant moans he elicited.

The flea, normally so controlled and calculating, seemed to be the total opposite at the mercy of Shizuo's attentive ministrations, and the blond felt a glow of pride at knowing he was the only one who would get to see Izaya like this, the only one who could _make_ Izaya like this.

He paused on his journey up to Izaya's neck, nibbling over the informant's sternum mischievously and smirking.

Izaya's eyes flashed with irritation, somehow managing to glare at Shizuo from their lust-filled haze as the older man ceased all movement.

"What do you think you're doing, Shizu-chan?" he growled, his voice doing nothing to scare Shizuo and everything to make his body tingle in pleasure, "Surely you don't think you can just stop right th_ere…_"

Hissing, the informant's eyes squeezed shut as Shizuo suddenly moved to harass one of his nipples with his mouth, his teeth running mercilessly over the sensitive bud as Izaya shivered and squirmed beneath him, making noises that sent heat straight to Shizuo's groin.

Any other time, the blond would have laughed at Izaya for his submissive behavior, but he decided that making fun of the informant right now would not be conducive to getting in his pants.

With one final breath of cool air over Izaya's chest, Shizuo began to cover the informant's neck with affectionate kisses, stroking the side of Izaya's face with the pad of his thumb as he ran his lips over a sensitive area of skin just beneath Izaya's ear. Izaya groaned at that, though the sound was slightly stifled as the brunet bit down on his lip to keep what sounded to Shizuo like his name from slipping out.

Now determined to hear his name fall from those abused lips, Shizuo sucked on the sensitive spot he had found with renewed vigor, scraping over the skin with his teeth in a way he was sure would leave a mark.

"I-if you give me a hickey, Shizu-chan, I swear I'll– Nnngh, Shizuo…!"

Shizuo had done the only thing he could think of to get the smaller man to stop whining at him and focus on what Shizuo was doing to him. The copper tang of Izaya's blood graced the blond's lips, and he licked the small wound he had just made soothingly.

Unfortunately for Izaya, he most definitely had a hickey now, but Shizuo supposed it wasn't a big deal since the informant had never gotten to finish with his threat.

"You swear you'll what?" the bodyguard chuckled.

Unimpressed, Izaya scoffed, turning his face away from Shizuo as if he might be able to hide his blush.

"You'll just have to wait and see, Shizu-chan~"

Izaya smirked down at Shizuo cheerfully, though the expression was certainly on the creepy side as it was just a little _too_ cheerful for Shizuo's taste. For a moment, the former bartender wondered if he should be worried, but then he remembered the gorgeous, willing body lying beneath him and decided it would be best to think about it later.

"I'm looking forward to it, flea," Shizuo murmured against Izaya's skin, pressing another kiss to the mark he had left on the informant before trailing one of his hands back down his torso lower, and lower, and–

"Nnh! Sh-shizuo… _fuck_…"

Fuck indeed, Shizuo thought to himself with a devilish grin as his fingers danced teasingly over the bulge in Izaya's boxers, his movement restricted a little by the waistband of Izaya's pants.

Those would have to come off.

With his free hand, Shizuo reached down for the button of Izaya's pants, only to have the informant's fingers wrap tightly around his wrist and hold him back. Confused, Shizuo glanced up to see Izaya watching him evenly, his dark eyes tense with an emotion the bodyguard couldn't place. Did Izaya not trust him enough…?

"Contrary to popular belief, Shizu-chan, I haven't done this before," said Izaya, his grip on the other man slackening when he saw that Shizuo wasn't trying to get at his pants anymore.

Shizuo tried his best to not give himself away, but he must have looked surprised, because Izaya glared at him angrily, the skin around his nose wrinkling slightly as he sneered.

"Don't look so shocked. You thought I was easy?" he mocked, "I never cared to waste my time so intimately engaged with another person. Especially since I've encountered very few people I consider my equals. Believe it or not, I _do_ have standards."

Another soft kiss was all that was needed to ease the tense informant, and Shizuo grinned easily against Izaya's lips. Just as he always seemed to surprise the flea, it seemed that Izaya was still able to surprise him, even if Shizuo had gotten pretty good at reading the other man lately.

"Or you were just too scared," Shizuo suggested.

Izaya averted his narrowed eyes, either too embarrassed or frustrated to argue, Shizuo couldn't tell.

"But if it makes you so uncomfortable, flea, we won't do that right now," he said with a shrug, and the information broker sighed in relief.

That sigh turned into a groan as the hand that was in Izaya's pants gave his still-present erection a slight squeeze. The informant's back arched, and his hands clutched at the cushions beneath them, yet he was smirking with amusement the whole time.

"Idiot, y-you just said you…_ah_ wouldn't…" Izaya managed to protest in between stifled groans.

Shizuo's heart fluttered stupidly at the informant's helpless state, and he paused in his current task of nibbling on the shell of Izaya's ear. He was nervous, too, but he didn't want the smaller man to know that. After all, Shizuo really didn't have much more experience than Izaya, he just seemed to have a little more enthusiasm.

"I'm not," the blond reassured him, "I can't go leaving you like this, though, can I?"

As though Izaya even needed clarification, Shizuo gave another flick of his wrist, his fingers stroking the informant with a little more force than they had been before. Izaya giggled tensely, his voice getting trapped in the back of his throat when Shizuo's ministrations sent a shiver up his spine.

"I suppose not," agreed Izaya, and Shizuo was glad to see the flea relax marginally, his dark eyes now watching Shizuo with the type of attentiveness befitting any good information broker.

Everything was a learning experience to the flea, wasn't it?

Biting his lip to keep from laughing at Izaya's curious expression, Shizuo reached down with his other hand once more, snapping the button open before the flea could stop him and working the zipper down with the hand he already had in Izaya's pants. With more room to work, the blond was able to pull down the informant's maroon boxers, freeing his erection.

Izaya gasped sharply as his hot flesh came in contact with the cool air, and Shizuo paused, cocking his head to the side as he examined the informant for a moment.

Izaya had said that he had never done this before, so the last thing the ex-bartender wanted to do was cause the flea any discomfort that would keep them from doing this again…

The sound of Shizuo spitting into his own palm caused Izaya's eyes to snap open from where they had previously been at half-mast.

He stared at Shizuo's hand in horror, unable to hide a grimace.

"Shizu-chan, that is positively disgust_iiing…_" he broke off with a breathy gasp, reaching for Shizuo as the bodyguard began stroking him with renewed fervor.

It was something Shizuo would never (ever) tell the informant, but Izaya was beautiful like this. His normally pale skin was flushed from Shizuo's attentions, and his dark hair stuck to the sides of his face as tiny beads of sweat began to roll off of his skin. And all the while, the flea was watching Shizuo carefully through lust-clouded eyes, a ghost of his characteristic smirk on his lips. What he found so funny, the bodyguard neither knew nor cared at the moment.

"Forget how this works, Shizu-chan~?" taunted Izaya breathily, and it was only at the thrust of the informant's hips that Shizuo realized he had stopped his movements.

* * *

Ever the actor, Izaya was careful to keep his amused, mildly-degrading smirk in place as he watched Shizuo flush, embarrassed that the informant had noticed him staring. Inside, Izaya was flattered that the other man thought him so captivating he would forget what they were doing, but that was a secret Izaya would keep to himself.

It's not that the brunet didn't know he was attractive, not at all. In fact, Izaya would even go so far as to admit he was a little vain. He had just never run into someone else who had the same genuine appreciation of natural beauty before.

Even the students Izaya had fooled around with back in high school had never looked at him with the same admiration as Shizuo.

Izaya nearly laughed at his tiny lie. He had never had sex before, that was true enough, but if Shizuo believed that he was completely innocent, then the bodyguard didn't know Izaya half as well as he thought he did.

The informant's thoughts came to a complete halt as Shizuo did something _amazing_ with his hand, and he moaned breathily, tangling his hands in Shizuo's hair and pulling him down for a sloppy kiss.

His body shivered when Shizuo's fingers ran along the underside of his cock with just enough pressure to make his mind reel, but not enough to give Izaya any sort of relief from the burning sensation that danced pleasantly all over his body.

"Shizu-chan," he whined against the blond's lips, pulling away so that he could glare up at Shizuo.

Smoldering in Shizuo's eyes was an intensity Izaya was unused to, and he swallowed a little too loudly, trying to breath as his throat tensed at the realization that Shizuo – unlike Izaya's previous almost-but-not-quite partners – wasn't just doing this to get either of them off or because he wanted Izaya's body.

Shizuo actually cared about him, and he was trying to express it in one of the few ways he knew how.

With a faint groan, the informant let his eyes slip shut, surrendering himself to the pleasant sensation of Shizuo's rough hand working up and down his shaft. He knew he was trembling and making all sorts of undignified noises, but fuck if he cared right now.

Desperate for more friction, Izaya thrust up into Shizuo's hand, whining in the back of his throat as the bodyguard squeezed languidly up to the sensitive head of his erection, thumb running over the slit and causing the informant to twitch against the sofa cushions.

"Nhhah! Sh-shizu, stop being…_ah!_ such a tease~" Izaya groaned, trying to laugh but failing miserably as the former bartender for once did as he was asked.

Izaya brought one of his legs up as he shifted on the sofa, and his eyes snapped open only to narrow mischievously at the faint whimper from Shizuo.

"Now who's the tease?" breathed Shizuo, his voice low and husky.

Izaya's leg had come up to unintentionally press against Shizuo's clothed erection, causing the blond to grind against it as he stroked Izaya a little more roughly than he had probably intended. Izaya smirked, pleased with this new development.

He had thought the other man was getting too much control over him, and what a better way to rectify the situation than with the very same tool Shizuo was using to reduce Izaya to a moaning, wanton mess.

"Neh~ Shizu-chan, you _must_ like me," giggled the brunet, pressing up between Shizuo's legs with more force and smirking wickedly at the miserable sound emitted by the former bartender. Just like Izaya a few moments before, Shizuo was desperate for more stimulation, but unable to get it from such light, teasing movements.

Though Shizuo probably would have done so himself, Izaya was eager to toy with this new, more-effective way to control the brute, and he quickly undid the other's pants.

"Shit, Izaya…" growled Shizuo, burying his face in the crook of Izaya's neck.

Izaya smirked impishly at the feel of Shizuo's hot breath against his skin, and he ran just the pads of his fingers along the bodyguard's erection, reveling in the way the already swollen flesh hardened further at his touch.

Shizuo moaned some rendition of Izaya's name, the vibration across the informant's skin sending a pleased shiver down his spine and causing his hand to pump Shizuo's skin encouragingly, hoping the protozoan would catch on and pick up his own pace.

The two fell into relative silence, each determined to get the other off so that they might achieve their own release, and Izaya growing more and more amused by the second at the way Shizuo reacted to his ministrations. Sexual activity seemed much more effective at controlling Shizuo than any of Izaya's clever words, a fact the informant stored away for later use. For now, he was focused on the glorious work to which Shizuo was putting his hands.

A tight heat was pooling in Izaya's abdomen, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer. The faint, wet sound of his shaking hand massaging Shizuo's erection combined with the sticky feeling of pre-cum between his fingers drowned out all sensations except for the feeling of Shizuo's hand on his own length.

Izaya leaned his head back against the arm rest, shutting his eyes and arching his back, no longer sure whose mouth the stifled grunts and moans were coming from.

"Ah! Shizuo, I'm- _haah…!_" the informant gasped, writhing against the sofa as he came, hand still working to bring Shizuo to his climax as well.

"Izaya, Izaya, so good…" Shizuo murmured against Izaya's neck, continuing to rock into the brunet's hand even as he rode out his orgasm.

Finally stilling, the two men laid in relaxed silence as they both tried to catch their breath, panting softly against each other's skin. Izaya was the first to break the calm with mischievous laughter, which only grew louder when Shizuo gave him a perplexed look.

"What are you laughing…" the blond trailed off, his eyes growing wide as Izaya brought his hand up to his face.

The informant had caught Shizuo's release in his hand, and he was now looking at it curiously, well aware that he was making the ex-bartender crouched over him aroused all over again.

"W-wait, Izaya, don't!" stammered Shizuo, his face turning red.

Izaya's smirk only grew more evil. He loved that he was the cause of Shizuo's embarrassment, his flushed face, his wonderfully disheveled hair… And now the priceless look of horror on the other man's face as he stuck out his tongue and slowly lapped up the white substance on his fingers.

"Always the slow one, Shizu-chan," Izaya purred once he was finished, still trying to adjust to the bitter taste in his mouth but hiding his struggle well, "You never think ahead. Don't you think I should get used to the taste now so I don't have an unpleasant reaction later~?"

Shizuo's brows furrowed in confusion before his eyes went wide with realization.

"For someone who's never done "this" before, flea, you sure know what you're doing," remarked Shizuo suspiciously as Izaya pushed him back so that he could sit up.

"Eh~? You shouldn't make assumptions, Shizu-chan. Did I say I'd never done _anything _before? It's true that I've never had sex, but that doesn't mean I haven't fooled around," he taunted.

Expression darkening, Shizuo looked as though he was about to ask a question, and Izaya assumed that his increasingly possessive "friend" (were they lovers now, or just friends with benefits?) wanted to know with whom, exactly, he had fooled around most likely for the purposes of smashing them into the pavement.

Before Shizuo could utter a word, a shrill, polyphonic melody rose from somewhere on the floor where the bodyguard's cell phone must have fallen during their activities.

As Shizuo reached down for his phone, giving Izaya one last suspicious glance, the informant breathed a small sigh of relief and got up to go take a shower.

* * *

"Yeah?" Shizuo answered gruffly, gaze following the retreating form of the informant as he held the phone to his ear.

"Oh, thank god, I thought you weren't going to answer at first, Shizuo!" said the sharp voice on the other end of the line with relief, causing Shizuo to flinch away from the speaker and grimace at the small, handheld device.

"Shinra?" Shizuo asked, "What do you want?"

"Ouch, Shizuo," Shinra whined, feigning offense, "Can't I ever just call you because I want to say hello to a friend?"

Sighing as the bathroom door closed behind Izaya, blocking him from Shizuo's view, the former bartender rolled his eyes and shifted back against the sofa.

"No. You never wanna just talk," replied the blond.

"True, true," Shinra laughed uneasily, and Shizuo scowled, wondering what the hell the doctor needed this time. If he wanted to ask Shizuo again if he could test on him, then he was out of luck.

"Where are you right now?"

The question was unexpected, and Shizuo blushed even though there was no way Shinra could possibly know what he had just been up to.

"My apartment," he answered quickly, sounding too anxious for his liking.

Shinra had heard the forced evenness of his voice, and Shizuo could practically _feel_ the underground doctor grinning into the mouthpiece. Goddamn, sometimes Shizuo thought that Shinra and the flea had a bit too much in common.

"Oooh, you sound nervous, Shizuo!" the doctor practically cackled, only causing the heat on Shizuo's face to intensify as the bodyguard hunched his shoulders, cupping his other hand over the phone as though he were afraid the informant in the other room would somehow hear the awkward conversation.

"You wouldn't happen to have a girl over or something, would you?" Shinra continued, taking Shizuo's silence as confirmation, "What's this mysterious girlfriend's name, Shizuo? And why haven't you introduced-"

"There's no girl, Shinra," growled the blond with irritation, rubbing a hand over his face.

He was seriously not in the mood for Shinra to bother him. All he really wanted right now was to follow the calming hiss of water falling from the showerhead in the bathroom to where Izaya was. Maybe the flea would be up for round two…?

"Ha! A boy then- mmmph!" Shinra's excited chattering was cut off as it sounded like something had covered his mouth, keeping him from spouting anything else he might regret next time he saw Shizuo.

Celty, Shizuo decided with a relieved grin.

"Aaah, sorry, Shizuo! My beautiful Celty told me to stop harassing you," – and then, voice suddenly becoming serious – "We need to talk to you about something important, Shizuo. I'd rather not do it over the phone, so if you could get over here as quickly as possible…"

Thoughts of sneaking into the shower with Izaya forgotten, all of Shizuo's attention turned to the man on the phone, his fingers tensing around the device he held.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Is Izaya there?" Shinra asked, surprising Shizuo once more.

"Wh-what…?" stammered Shizuo.

How the hell did Shinra know about them? Shizuo could hear his heart pounding loudly in his ears, and he began to worry about the doctor possibly having cameras or some other weird shit in his apartment, even if that really was more like something the flea would do, completely forgetting about the man on the other end of the line.

"Just get over here as soon as you can, Shizuo," Shinra said, and Shizuo could almost see the doctor shaking his head, but with disappointment or amusement, Shizuo couldn't decide.

The doctor hung up without so much as a goodbye.

Shizuo let his phone drop onto the cushions of the sofa beneath him, and he glanced down the hallway nervously, watching the steam rise from underneath the bathroom door while his mind tried to figure out what had just happened.

Shinra rarely sounded so serious about something unless there was really something wrong, and then for him to have mentioned the flea…

Why was it that something had to come along and make Shizuo doubt Izaya again when he had _just_ gotten over his complete distrust of the other man? Maybe it wasn't something Izaya himself had done, but some shady dealing the informant had gotten tangled up in. Yeah… it's not like that was totally unlikely with all the time Izaya spent around criminals…

Feeling less and less sure of himself, Shizuo got to his feet, deciding that he should go say goodbye to the flea before Shinra told him whatever it was he apparently needed to know "as quickly as possible".

* * *

Izaya had been basking in the glow of his triumph when he heard the bathroom door open.

"Care to join me, Shizu-chan?" asked Izaya, closing his eyes as he rinsed the brute's cheap shampoo from his hair.

He could feel the blond hesitate, and Izaya grinned like a child with a brand new toy. Not only had he won his game (well, nearly. There had been no declarations of "love" yet.), but he had finally achieved some semblance of control over the Monster of Ikebukuro.

It would take the informant a little while to get off of his most recent power trip. What fun he would have with Shizuo now that he could manipulate the bodyguard's feelings~! Now that _Izaya_ was the one in charge of Shizuo's happiness, his warm smiles, those soft, rumbling chuckles…

Coming out of his affectionate reverie, Izaya realized that Shizuo hadn't bothered to reply to him. He cocked his head to the side in confusion and leaned a little closer to the shower curtain to listen for the other man. Had Shizuo left the bathroom without his noticing?

"Neh, Shizu-chan~? Have you finally died?" the brunet teased.

"What?" Shizuo replied, and it sounded as though the man hadn't heard Izaya's question, like he had been focused on something else.

Izaya's grin fell as a vaguely familiar emotion caused his chest to constrict. He thought it might have been fear, but why would he be afraid? Just because Shizuo sounded oddly distracted was no reason for the informant to freak out. After all, he knew the blond sometimes had trouble multi-tasking when it came to thinking.

Izaya made to question Shizuo as unconcernedly as possible about his sudden change in mood, but the former bartender cut him off before he could even take a breath.

"I'm going to Shinra's for a bit. He said he wanted to talk to me 'bout something."

There was a quality to Shizuo's voice that made the brunet narrow his eyes. Shizuo sounded like some kind of disappointed parent, one who knew you had done wrong but was waiting to scold you until you confessed.

What the hell had Izaya done, though? Other than give the brute what had probably been the most amazing hand job of his life, but that had nothing to do with Shinra.

Unless somehow, impossibly, Shinra or Celty had seen him with his new "friends"…

"What's Shinra have to tell you that's more important than _me_?" Izaya asked, doing a terrible job of keeping the incredulity out of his voice.

As much as Izaya had considered Shizuo to be a monster, he had always acknowledged the fact that the man was a gentleman around the very few people who didn't piss him off. Even if Izaya was number one on the list of "People Who Make Heiwajima Shizuo Flip the Fuck Out", he had been on his best behavior lately, and couldn't fathom why Shizuo thought that leaving his friend who had just finished jerking him off while he was still showering would ever be a proper thing to do.

Maybe the informant had overestimated Shizuo's manners though; once a caveman, always a caveman.

"If I knew that, flea, I wouldn't be going over there," growled Shizuo irritably, and Izaya had half a mind to mock the blond for his tone, but decided against it.

If he didn't know what he had done to piss Shizuo off this time, it was probably in the informant's best interest to keep from making him any angrier.

"And do you expect me to stay here and wait for you to get back, Shizu-chan?" Izaya snapped.

"If you've got shit to do, you can just let yourself out, Izaya. I don't know when I'll be back anyway."

The bodyguard's voice sounded tired, and Izaya knew that he would be rifling through his pockets for a cigarette and his lighter. It wasn't as though Shizuo was allowing Izaya to win their passive-aggressive conversation, he was just focused on something else other than Izaya, likely trying to figure out what their friend needed to say. At least it sounded like the blond was as ignorant as Izaya about what Shinra could possibly need to tell him so urgently.

"Wow, Shizu-chan," Izaya sneered, not knowing why he was suddenly so frustrated with the way Shizuo was content to drop the issue. To drop _him._

Before he could finish the rest of what would have been a tirade of biting insults, the informant heard the door open and close quickly, and the sound of Shizuo's loud, retreating footsteps fading down the hallway until he was once more alone.

With no one to distract him, Izaya was overwhelmed by anxiety. How could he call himself an informant and yet not know something someone else knew about him? Not only was it embarrassing, but it left him feeling helpless and vulnerable.

He sighed and brought one of his hands up to his chest, smirking at the panicked heart he felt beneath his skin. Though the water cascading down his body was warm, he found himself shivering, and he only began to shake more as he forced a loud, tense laugh from his throat.

"You're such an idiot! You think you're so smart, but you forgot…" chuckled Izaya helplessly.

He had gained some control over Shizuo, but he had forgotten that he had done so at a price. Though it had been done unknowingly, Shizuo had Izaya wrapped around his fingers. For every emotion of his that the informant could toy with, he could manipulate Izaya just as easily.

Izaya, so used to being the puppet master, was unsettled by his new status as someone else's toy to control.

Someone else's toy to _break._

_

* * *

_**I don't know if this cliffhanger's better or worse than the last one... Anyway, I have some news! It's good depending on your perspective, I guess 8D; I'm getting a decision on my first choice university next week, so between that, planning my prom dress, the pre-Christmas scramble, and my semester research paper, I don't think I'm going to have much time to write for the next few weeks.**

**BUT. I WILL be working on my fic for the LJ Shizaya community secret Santa! :) So you guys will definitely have something to read come Christmas~ I can't reveal what it is for fear of giving away my secret Santa-eyness, but I think you all will like it! o3o**

**I will see you all again around Christmas with my random side fic, and probably again soon after for a Birds update after/around the new year :D And if all goes well, I'll have news of my moving to NYC next year when I see you all next time~**

**Sorry again for the wait! (and the horrifically long author's note...)  
**


	15. Chapter 14

**It's been so long you guys! ;u; I've missed updating this so badly~ Between the holidays, my secret Santa fic (Go Paint the Town Red, which is some lovely Shizaya almost-PWP you all should go read 8D), finals, and college stuff, I've been super busy. But I'm finally updating again! And I promise I won't be taking anymore 1+ month breaks again, especially since I feel the end is in sight for Birds. Don't worry, though... it'll probably still be at least another five chapters x)**

**As always, thank you to my beta, _pssty_, and all of you guys who leave me such wonderful reviews/favorite or follow this story ;u; You make my heart sing!**

**Disclaimer: ...Nope. Still don't own DRRR! If I did, season 2 would have already been announced.  
**

* * *

Shizuo took a deep breath to steady himself when he finally reached the door of Shinra and Celty's apartment. He had taken as long as possible to reach his friends' place, and now that he was here, Shizuo half considered turning around and heading back to his apartment.

Maybe Izaya would still be there.

He scowled at the thought of the louse. That's why he was here, right? Shinra and Celty knew something about Izaya that he didn't, something bad if Shinra's tone was anything to go by. If Shizuo didn't find out what it was now, he knew he wouldn't be able to go back and face Izaya again.

Not when he knew there was something left unsaid. Not when Izaya was hiding something from him.

So it was with a loudly beating heart and anxiety rising in his chest that Shizuo knocked on the apartment door. When at first there was no response, an overwhelming sense of relief washed over him, and Shizuo made to walk away, but he stopped when the door flew open.

"Ah, there you are, Shizuo! I thought something might have happened to you on the way here, you took so long!" said Shinra, the grin on his face evidence to none of the concern he should have been feeling.

Shizuo grunted some form of a response as he shoved his way past Shinra into the apartment, pleased when he saw Celty waving over at him from their sofa.

"Hey," he greeted, nodding at her as he moved into the living room. And then, to Shinra, he added:

"What'd you want me over here so quickly for? Something happen?"

All at once, the casual atmosphere vanished, leaving Shizuo feeling tense and uncomfortable with his friends.

"You might want to sit down," Shinra suggested, and the seriousness Shizuo heard in the doctor's voice made him even more nervous.

Shizuo did as he was told with a thoughtful scowl, sitting on the opposite end of the sofa with Celty to make room for Shinra in between them. Even as Shinra sat down next to him, his normally obnoxious face settling into a grim expression, Shizuo was doing his best to calm himself.

Whatever his friends had to tell him was definitely bad, and Shinra had asked about Izaya, but that didn't necessarily mean the reason he had been called over was because of something related to flea. Shinra's question about Izaya hadn't been connected to his request that Shizuo hurry over, the doctor could have – for whatever weird reason – simply been curious.

Right.

"I'm sitting, now talk," said Shizuo gruffly. He couldn't take this uneasy silence anymore!

Celty already had her PDA ready, typing a bit before becoming flustered, deleting whatever she had just written. Once her question was to her liking, she showed the screen to Shizuo, the bodyguard having to lean slightly over Shinra to read the words.

_[Are you and Izaya involved?]_

Heat rose up the back of Shizuo's neck and to his face, and though he was certain he had already given himself away, the ex-bartender felt the need to defend himself.

"W-what?" he spluttered, "What do you mean 'involved'? I hate that fucking louse, and you know better than-"

"Whoah, don't go getting defensive," laughed Shinra nervously, bringing both of his hands up before Shizuo as if to placate him, "We need to know whether or not our news even matters to you. If nothing really is going on between you two, then there's not much of a reason to tell you…"

While Shinra spoke, Celty was typing away on her PDA, intent on being much more cautious with her wording this time so as to not catch Shizuo off guard.

_[I know it's not really my business, but I saw the two of you walking around the city together a few days ago, and I just thought I might ask.]_

Though he was still embarrassed, Shizuo couldn't help but also feel frustrated. He had told Izaya that they needed to keep their weird friendship… thing secret from the population of Ikebukuro, but the flea had insisted that it was unlikely anyone important would see them together and that those who did wouldn't spread it around. Heiwajima Shizuo was incredibly scary after all, and no one would want to risk pissing him off.

"We've… uh, had lunch together a few times," Shizuo admitted awkwardly, and Celty's fingers froze over her PDA, her body tense with surprise.

_[So you and Izaya are friends now…?]_

Shizuo didn't know if it was because he was talking to people who knew he and the louse's history from the beginning or because of what he and Izaya had just been doing barely an hour ago, but he found himself unwilling to answer truthfully.

These were his friends, though. And if he couldn't be honest with them, who could he be? Besides, he had already told Tom, so it wasn't as if telling Celty and Shinra would make much difference.

"I guess you could say me n' him are friends or whatever, yeah," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck.

Shinra, who had since been observing the conversation, nodding thoughtfully to himself every so often, suddenly made a sound of discontent.

"I thought that might be the case," he sighed.

"Why's it even matter? You know something about him I don't?" Shizuo persisted.

Shinra and Celty shared a resigned glance (well, as much of one as they could), and the dullahan waved her hands at Shinra to urge him on.

Sighing again, a sound that was quickly beginning to get on Shizuo's nerves, the doctor shrugged his shoulders in defeat. If Shinra had something to say, then he should've said it already and stopped drawing it out!

"I assume you've been watching the news recently?"

Shizuo hummed the affirmative, wishing the doctor would get on with it.

"Then you've heard of the new gang that's been causing trouble around the city…"

"Yeah, yeah. The Goodbye Johnnies or something, right? Some group of brats," growled Shizuo, only to have Celty's PDA shoved in front of his face.

_[The Farewell Rogers]_ she corrected, and Shizuo waved the device away.

"Whatever. Brats are still brats no matter what you call them. But what does this have to do with the flea?" the blond asked, completely focused on Shinra now.

He had a hunch about the direction this conversation was taking. He had considered the possibility himself as soon as he had learned of the new gang, figuring that the flea had gotten bored with the peace in Ikebukuro and was looking to stir something up again. But it hadn't seemed right to Shizuo. Years of hunting Izaya down had taught him that reckless violence was not the man's style.

"Well…" Shinra hesitated, worrying his bottom lip.

"Shinra!"

"Okay, okay… Celty and I are pretty sure that Izaya's the one who started the Farewell Rogers. Or if he didn't start them, he's definitely the one controlling them," said the doctor quickly, tensing as though he expected Shizuo to hit him.

Shizuo had known what was coming, but the accusation still caught him off guard. It had been easier to ignore the doubt gnawing away at what little faith he had in the flea when it was only him who thought Izaya had anything to do with the gang. But when there were two other people who had considered the possibility, who were telling him that it was the _truth_, well… Shizuo had much more trouble denying it.

"Bullshit. What's your proof?" the blond snapped.

Now it was Celty's turn to respond, the keys of her PDA barely making a sound as she recalled what she had seen.

_[About two weeks ago, I saw him talking to a group of kids who looked like they might be in high school. I couldn't hear everything he was saying, but I did hear him give them a name: Park Min Ki.]_

The name didn't ring any bells in Shizuo's mind, and he was about to reply when he recalled an event from what seemed like forever ago. He remembered the trashed hangout, the papers strewn everywhere, and the injured man lying amongst the chaos. Most of all, though, Shizuo remembered the green tag that had been sprayed on the wall.

"Why…" the ex-bartender paused, trying to think of which question in his mind he wanted to ask first.

"Why are you just telling me this now if it happened so long ago?" he asked.

There was another tense look between Celty and Shinra.

"We weren't sure if we should involve you or not, since it's not like dabbling around with the local gangs is anything strange for Izaya. But then Celty saw you two together, and we began to worry. Maybe Izaya manipulating a bunch of violent kids isn't bizarre, but Izaya bringing you into whatever game he thinks he's playing now is." Shinra's brows furrowed and he pulled off his glasses to rub at his eyes.

"He could be up to nothing at all, but I doubt it, Shizuo. And the last thing we want to see is you getting caught up in the crossfire of whatever he's doing again."

_[Yeah, what if you get shot again? You might not survive a second time!]_ Celty typed frantically, and then – seeing the displeased look on Shizuo's face – continued.

_[We're not saying we're sure about this, Shizuo, and you probably know him better than any of us, but… Well, we just thought you should know before something bad happens to you.]_

Shizuo could feel that familiar burning of anger in his chest, but he forced himself to breathe deeply until it dissipated. Celty and Shinra were his friends, and they were looking out for him like any true friends should; he had no right to get mad at them for that.

"I understand what you guys are saying, but I dunno… The flea likes wreaking havoc, but this random violence isn't like him at all. And even if it were something he'd do, I…" he paused only for both Shinra and Celty to lean in, hanging on his every word.

"I trust him."

He could clearly see the disbelief in Shinra's eyes, and the doctor shifted uncomfortably where he sat on the sofa as he spoke slowly and carefully as though he were explaining some difficult concept to a child.

"That's insane, Shizuo. I spent a lot of time with him when we were younger, and even if I liked hanging out with him, I never have and never will trust him. And you _hate_ him," the doctor reminded him.

Tch. Like Shizuo could forget.

"Hated…" the bodyguard mumbled, "I hated him."

"Eh?"

_[What do you mean?]_

The two presented their dismayed questions at the same time, but Shizuo dismissed both of them with a weary wave of his hand. Despite his words, the ex-bartender still couldn't shake the poisonous doubt that had latched itself onto his heart as soon as Shinra had called him. He needed to leave, needed to think.

"It doesn't matter. I know it's crazy, but I'm known for doing stupid things, aren't I? Just add this to the list of 'reasons why Heiwajima Shizuo is an idiot' or whatever," he said, finally getting to his feet and digging around in his pocket for his cigarettes.

_[W-wait! Where are you going?]_ Celty typed out frantically.

Shizuo shrugged as he placed a cigarette between his lips.

"I just need some time to think," responded the blond.

"You're not going to go talk to Izaya, are you? Because he'll just deny everything. Or worse," Shinra warned him, following right behind Shizuo as the bodyguard walked towards the door.

Footsteps halting, Shizuo paused in the hallway to peer at Shinra, his lips drawn down slightly in a thoughtful frown as he looked at the concerned doctor.

"Dunno, maybe… I need some time," he answered with another careless shrug.

He was almost to the door when something wrapped around his arm and tugged him back. One of his eyebrows twitching in frustration, Shizuo glanced down to see a dark shadow preventing him from moving forward. He turned around to see Celty standing behind him, her fingers moving over the keyboard of her PDA with purpose.

The shadow on Shizuo's arm fell away as Celty brought her free hand up to squeeze her friend's shoulder firmly.

_[Shizuo, be careful.]_

Shizuo stared at the dark matter smoking from his friend's neck for a long moment before smiling. The gesture didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I will. And… thank you both for telling me," he added as he opened the door of their apartment, striding out without another word as he lost himself to his thoughts.

None of it made any sense to him. Why would the flea, after so many months of inactivity, suddenly preoccupy himself with such an uninteresting, violent group of kids? There was no crazy, city-wide gang war for Izaya to start this time, as the Farewell Rogers were the only active group right now except for the Dollars, who this new bunch didn't seem to be interested in. The only thing this lot of students seemed to enjoy doing was killing fellow students and attacking random adults.

There wasn't even a pattern to their attacks, nothing indicative of the intelligent control-freak Shinra and Celty had just told him was behind this new gang. Izaya would never tangle with a lawless group like the Farewell Rogers unless he was using them as pieces in his own game, but – as far as Shizuo saw it – none of it connected. There was no-

He froze just as he hit the pavement outside of Shinra's apartment complex, his hands held in front of his face where they had been busy trying to light the cigarette in his mouth.

How could he have been so stupid? All of his and Tom's appointments lately had been targets, _all_ of them. Yet Shizuo, wrapped up in the troubles he had been having with his "friend", had somehow failed to notice this glaring fact. The why of it all was still a complete mystery to him, but now that he saw the similarity that linked most of the attacks together…

"FUCKING FLEA!" he roared, his barely-smoked cigarette dropping to the ground as he took off at a sprint towards Shinjuku, the innocent bystanders on the sidewalk running out of his way as quickly as they could.

Shizuo couldn't believe it! Izaya hadn't changed one bit; he was still as much of an evil little parasite as he had always been. The goddamned flea was getting people killed for no reason at all, and he had kept it all hidden from his so-called friend.

Worst of all, though…

Shizuo had trusted him.

* * *

"You look like shit," was the warm greeting Izaya received upon finally returning to his office.

He grinned at his secretary, unfazed. There was really no point in disputing the statement; Izaya knew he looked terrible right now. What with the dark bruise on one side of his neck from being hit with a newspaper dispenser and the bite marks on the other side, the informant probably looked like he had been in a very bizarre accident.

"Good evening to you, too, Namie," he returned, "To what happy incident do I owe the pleasure of your company so late in the evening?"

Though his voice was as cheerful as always, his message was clear. He wanted the woman out, and he wanted her out now. He needed to think.

Namie's eyes narrowed in irritation, and she jerked one of her fingers accusingly at the tower of papers and files piled high on her employer's coffee table.

"_Someone_ has been out to lunch all day, leaving me with more work than anyone could possibly finish in a normal work day, so I'm staying late so I don't have to listen to that particular _someone_ bitch me out later," she ground out evenly.

"Eh? So you mean you've been here working even later than normal, yet you still haven't finished everything I left for you? You're seriously making me consider docking your pay~" the man giggled as he walked across the large room to flop down into his favorite chair.

He spun once, twice before he glanced up to examine his secretary's expression, not drinking in that look of confusion and hesitant anger as much as he normally would.

"I'd quit if you paid me any less than you do now," muttered Namie, moving back to her spot on the floor before the coffee table as she resumed sorting through the various papers Izaya had left for her.

The informant smirked at her words, wagging one his fingers at her mockingly.

"An empty threat," he chuckled, "No one else would pay you even half what I do. And then how would you support that brother of yours you harbor such a sick affection for, hm?"

One of Namie's eyebrows twitched, and Izaya could see the beginnings of a comeback forming on her lips, but the woman eventually chose to keep her mouth shut. The two fell into silence after that, Namie focused on her work, and Izaya half-focused on the chat room on his computer screen.

Even as the personalities the informant had come to be so familiar with discussed the most recent string of gang-related violence and how many students – fearing a repeat of the last war – had not been showing up to school lately, Izaya's mind was thinking of only one thing.

What the hell had Shinra told Shizuo?

There was only one reason Izaya could come up with for why the doctor would have called Shizuo away in such a hurry: Somehow Shinra had found out about what he was up to. Were it not for the dark quality in the blond's voice when he had left Izaya, the informant wouldn't have been able to narrow down the possibilities yet, but he could tell that Shizuo had been frustrated with him.

Haha… If only the man knew the whole story. Of course he wouldn't, though. If Shinra knew, then it was only because Izaya hadn't been careful enough and either the underground doctor or that dullahan had seen him with some of the Farewell Rogers. Neither of them would have considered that maybe Izaya wasn't trying to stir up trouble again.

That he wasn't doing this for himself this time.

"The one time I try to do something selfless, it comes back to bite me in the ass," Izaya sighed, leaning his face against his hand as he let his eyes slip shut. He knew Namie was staring at him after that little outburst of his, but he wasn't going to indulge her curiosity.

All he cared about right now was whether or not Shizuo really did know. If he did, then everything Izaya had been working towards the past few weeks was for naught; he would completely lose the other man's trust and with it any hope he had at stealing Shizuo's heart.

Well, he supposed he'd find out how much the brute knew shortly. Shizuo had been at Shinra's for a while, so if the doctor had told Shizuo what Izaya feared he had, then it was only a matter of time before-

"IIII-ZAAA-YAAA-KUUUN!"

The heavy, locked door of Izaya's apartment barely had time to snap in protest before it fell to the floor with a loud thud. Namie glanced up in concern as the Monster of Ikebukuro stormed into the office, but quickly looked back to her work.

She would leave once things got bad. Until then, she still had a ton of papers to sort.

"Ah, Shizu-chan~ I've been expecting you," said Izaya, getting to his feet and walking around his desk so that he wouldn't be trapped if he had to move.

Shizuo frowned at this statement, and Izaya suspected that the ex-bartender was taking it as confirmation of whatever Shinra had told him. His pale eyes were tense as he thought, something the informant rarely ever saw the other doing until the past few days.

It was nice to know his influence was having such a positive effect on the brute.

"I've been trying to figure it out on my way here…" the blond growled softly.

"You seem to have been doing a lot of that lately," Izaya remarked dryly before asking with his usual flippancy, "What is it that's on your mind this time?"

Shizuo was only about three feet away from Izaya now, and the informant tensed, one of his hands reaching for the flickblade in his pocket. Given their recent friendliness, Izaya had become too relaxed around the monster when he saw him, a mistake he couldn't make right now.

"I've been wondering why you bothered to lie to me. Why string me along, Izaya? Especially when you got so close to me. You could have just-"

Namie was listening intently now, but Izaya ignored her. Let her listen, she'd only find out what had happened on her own anyway.

"Killed you? Ne, Shizu-chan, why don't you tell me what this is really about? Shinra had something to tell you, so out with it," and though the informant's voice was still amused, there was definitely a demand in his words.

Shizuo moved before Izaya could even consider darting out of the way, one of the blond's hands wrapping tightly around his throat and pulling him forward as Shizuo glared into his shocked eyes.

"He told me what you wouldn't, you bastard: The truth," Shizuo emphasized these words by shaking Izaya a little, and it was all the gasping informant could do to bring his knife up to the other man's throat.

Shizuo smacked the flickblade aside without even sparing it a glance, his furious gaze focused completely on Izaya.

"H-hah… And… what would… that be?" Izaya rasped, trying to loosen Shizuo's single hand around him with both of his, though he knew it was a lost cause.

"That you've been controlling the Farewell Rogers all along, that you're really planning something after all. And you were going to use me, too, weren't you? That's why you've spent so much time with me."

Truly fearing for his safety now, Izaya ignored what Shizuo was saying and instead focused on freeing himself. He leaned back against his desk while the blond spoke, and – in a last ditch effort to get away – lashed out with one of his feet to try and kick Shizuo's legs out from under him. The Monster of Ikebukuro, strong as ever, merely grinned at Izaya's feeble attempt, not even flinching at the sharp kick against his leg.

Izaya's eyes slipped closed as black spots began floating in his vision. His hands relinquished their miserable hold on Shizuo's, falling to his sides.

Shizuo's grip tightened then, and for a moment both of them believed that the blond really was going to kill Izaya, that he really was going to end this now.

It was only at the sound of a rather obvious cough from off to the side that Shizuo finally released the informant.

"I know it's not my business to get involved in my employer's personal life, but I would very much appreciate if you didn't kill him, Heiwajima-san. At least not while I'm here, anyway. I don't want to be a witness," she said dryly, but Izaya could tell she was anxious. He might have to consider raising her salary after this.

"So I take it you believed everything he told you, then?" Izaya snapped, blinking away the tears that were welling in his eyes from the added pain of Shizuo's abuse to the bruises he already had around his throat.

"Don't try to feed me any more lies, flea," growled Shizuo, "Celty saw you with some of them, and I think I might have, too. Their targets have even matched up with my work schedule, Izaya!"

"That's because-!"

But Izaya couldn't finish as Shizuo lost what little control Namie's interruption had given him over himself and drove one of his fists right into the informant's gut, causing Izaya to double over with pain. The tiniest of smirks graced his pale features, and Shizuo thought he might have heard the twisted fuck laugh.

"I don't wanna hear anything you have to say. Before it was just you starting some fights between gangs, but now you've been sending them after innocent kids? People are getting killed because of you," Shizuo said quietly.

That quietness scared Izaya, and it was with great difficulty that he looked up at the taller man, trying to both regain the breath that had been punched from him and ignore the pain around his neck.

Betrayal was written all over Shizuo's features.

"I trusted you, Izaya."

"Sh-shizuo, why won't you…" the informant trailed off weakly as Shizuo turned his back on him.

Haha, of course the monster wouldn't listen to Izaya the one time it was really important. He had listened to Izaya whine about his feelings and past all week, but now that it mattered, he didn't even want to be in the same room with the informant.

"Shizuo…"

But Shizuo had already stalked out of the apartment.

Izaya stayed standing where he was, leaning against his desk for support, for what felt like years, staring numbly at the open doorway to his apartment while some foolish part of him hoped that Shizuo might stroll back in to apologize. Or maybe he was hoping that he would wake up from this nightmare soon to realize that his plans hadn't come crashing down around his ears in the blink of an eye, that the man he had unfortunately come to love really hadn't just walked right out on him.

He hadn't even given Izaya a chance to explain himself…

With a deep, ragged breath, the informant's bright eyes slipped closed and he collapsed onto the floor, hiding his face in his hands and leaning against his knees.

The sound of uncertain footfalls drawing close to where he was crouched reached his ears, but he didn't move.

"Izaya, is there anything you'd like me to-"

"Go home, Namie."

Izaya's voice was weary and bitter, but the woman was undaunted by this new side to her employer. The invincible Orihara Izaya, who no group or individual was able to touch, was breaking down right before her eyes, but she hardly even seemed to notice.

"There's nothing you-"

"Go home!"

He had pulled his hands away from his face just enough to give her a furious glare, the look made all the more terrifying by the tears that were streaking down his face.

This Namie did notice, and her mouth fell open into a silent 'o' of surprise.

She recovered quickly, though, and scowled down at the miserable wreck her employer had become.

"Fine," she snapped, striding towards the door Shizuo had left through mere moments ago, just remembering to grab her bag on the way out.

Izaya had shielded his face from her once more, but he heard her pause in the doorway.

"You know, Izaya, it's perfectly human to show your weakness to other people."

And with that, she left.

Izaya's shrill laughter followed her all the way down the hallway and even long after she had returned home.

* * *

**I'd like to say that angst came out of NOWHERE, but it didn't 8D; Ummm... this should be the angstiest chapter in the whole story, though (I think), so there's that, I suppose~ Now I'm off to eat cake, so I will see all you cool cats next week!**

**And as always, review if you'd like, or don't if not, but reviews make my days a million times brighter :D  
**


	16. Chapter 15

**This is the shortest chapter I've had in a while, but a lot is revealed in this one, so I guess it's no big deal? P: I've got a killer headache, so not much from me today, you guys~**

**As always, thank you all so much for the lovely reviews and the alerts/favorites! :) I also thank my beta, _pssty_, in spirit since my email apparently exploded and all of my mail is getting bounced back to me ;~; Wut.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned DRRR!, I'd already have my DVD since it's the 25th and all 8C But alas. It is still on its way.  
**

* * *

Ten hours exactly had passed since Shizuo had barged into Izaya's apartment.

Nine hours and forty-eight minutes had gone by since Shizuo had accused Izaya of something of which he was – for once – not guilty.

Nine hours, forty-seven minutes, and two seconds had passed since Shizuo had quietly left Izaya's apartment.

And it had been a total of nine hours, forty-six minutes, and about fifty seconds since Izaya had felt as though his heart had withered away inside of him, leaving him empty and without purpose.

His dark eyes watched listlessly as a shadow crossed the floor of his office, a cloud in the sky momentarily obscuring the feeble crescent moon that seemed to glow so dimly that evening. Something at the other end of his room, sitting atop the coffee table Namie had been working on earlier, caught the informant's attention and he got up from his chair.

As he remembered the day he had set the thing up, he found himself hesitating, leaning heavily against his desk and taking a deep breath as though it would alleviate the numbness in his chest.

Eventually, he worked up the energy to shuffle over to the game board he had laid out on the table what seemed like forever ago. A tiny smile caused the corners of his lips to twitch erratically before they settled once more into a blank expression.

Both kings, black and white, stood facing each other at opposing sides of the board, Izaya having long since removed all other pieces.

The rules of the game had changed over time, as usually happened in any truly challenging game. Now, though…

There wasn't a game left to be played now, was there?

With a smile devoid of any happiness, Izaya shoved the black king over with one of his index fingers. It fell to the board with a clatter that was deafening in the silent room, rolling on its side until it fell right off of the coffee table and onto the carpet. Izaya's eyes remained on the white king even as the other fell.

"I guess this is checkmate, huh, Shizu-chan?" he asked the king, running his fingers along its smooth surface before pulling away as though he had done something wrong.

"What a pity. The last game I ever cared to play, and I lost. This really is no fun…"

The remark was followed by a series of weak, lifeless laughs that cut off as soon as they had begun the moment Izaya realized that he didn't feel any more cheerful, just a little lightheaded.

Rarely did the informant give any thought to things such as fate and fortune when it came to his own life, but in this case, he would have to make an exception. Izaya couldn't think of any other reason for his plans to have gone so perfectly awry without so much as a word from himself to set it all into motion. He had played so carefully, for once being as inconspicuous in his machinations as he could until he was certain no one would be able to trace anything – especially the Farewell Rogers' attacks – back to him.

And Izaya would admit that he had almost forgotten the very dangerous game he was playing when he was around Shizuo. Especially lately, the other man had a way of making Izaya forget any and all strategies of his, able to focus only on the butterflies that multiplied in his stomach when he was with Shizuo.

Letting out a stilted breath, Izaya brought a hand up to clutch at his chest, grimacing from the pain he felt there. It wasn't physical, as his heart was beating normally (if not a little quickly) behind his ribs, but he could feel a strange weight pressing over it, as though the little muscle was being asphyxiated by some unseen force.

Haha, was this what "heartache" meant? Izaya had always been intrigued by the idea, but not enough to wish the feeling upon himself.

He blinked a few rebellious tears from his eyes. What was he crying for? Though he had hoped for a different outcome, Izaya had known from the beginning that he was likely to fail, even if his opponent had been no more than a stupidly endearing protozoan who jumped to conclusions.

There was no reason for him to feel so despondent about it all.

Well, a part of him _did_ feel a little ill that this whole mess could have been avoided if he had just killed Shizuo that day in Ikebukuro when he'd had the chance.

Only the foolish emotion humans called "love" had stopped Izaya from making the Neanderthal bleed to death, and now he was paying for that love.

"Would you laugh, Shizu-chan, if you knew that you've won? Heh, I guess not. I couldn't really expect an idiot like you to understand anyway… You're probably sleeping soundly in your cheap apartment, all of this long forgotten. And all the while you're completely unaware of what you've done to me. So unintentionally, too," said Izaya quickly, his words bitter despite the grin on his face.

"Maybe that makes _you_ the smart one. You don't even have to try, Shizu-chan, and yet you still beat me at my own game."

His ramblings faded off as his eyes once more caught sight of that black king lying all alone on the floor, the very moonlight shying away from its abandoned form.

"But there's no use in dwelling on it. The sooner I can get you out of my head, the better. You may have my heart, Shizu-chan, but I won't allow you to have my mind as well," decided the informant softly as he nudged the lonely chess piece with one of his toes.

Five in the morning though it may have been, Izaya needed some kind of a distraction to keep himself from steeping in even more protozoan-laden thoughts. Thoughts that would only make his heart hurt more in this unfamiliar way…

A smirk, one just as maliciously gleeful as was befitting the informant, worked its way over Izaya's face as he glanced at his idling computer.

There was an entire world he could distract himself with that never slept. In fact, Izaya was certain he had never needed his twenty-four hour rumor mill more than he did in that moment.

Perhaps his game with Shizuo had been his last, but Izaya still felt obligated to leave his beloved city with one last parting gift before he gave up his twisted hobby entirely.

One last, slightly personal parting gift.

* * *

Ikebukuro had gone crazy in the span of a single night.

Well, perhaps not the entire city, but if the violence among Ikebukuro's student population had been bad in the past few weeks, it had erupted into madness now. The body count had been climbing ever since some ungodly hour of the morning: injured, dead, it didn't matter. What had before been the seemingly random, mindless attacks of the new gang had now turned into a small-scale war.

These very attacks were now the topic of discussion among a pair of friends walking to school that early May morning.

"This reminds me of a couple months ago…" spoke the girl softly, holding her school bag tightly as she walked with her gaze seemingly on the pavement below her feet. In reality, she was paying close attention to everything around herself and her friend, anxious that they, too, might be attacked at any moment.

"Yeah, but…" the boy trailed off, causing his friend to glance up at him.

"But what?"

"It's weird this time. I haven't heard anything about Dollars having trouble with the Farewell Rogers, so I think everything that's going on right now is some sort of internal power struggle with them," he said, biting his lip in thought.

He glanced down at the wide eyed look the girl was giving him, and the seriousness on his face vanished, replaced by a silly grin as he scratched at the back of his neck awkwardly.

What was he thinking? He was probably scaring her with all this gang talk!

"E-eh, but what do I know? If nothing's happened yet, I'm sure they'll probably just leave us all alone, right?" he tried to assure her.

The girl's eyes resumed staring down at the ground, but her eyebrows were tensed slightly with thought.

"Yeah," she agreed, and then added in a whisper, "I wish Kida were still here."

Not that the boy hadn't thought it every day since his best friend had left, but he felt himself yearning for the other's presence more than ever now. Kida would at least be able to calm them down with some of his terrible humor, and if anything went terribly wrong, and this new gang did decide to attack the established powers, at least Ikebukuro would have the Yellow Scarves to fight them off.

He sighed and nodded more to himself than to his friend.

"Me, too."

* * *

Taking an unscheduled day off was something Shizuo rarely did. Even if the man was ill or feeling a little under the weather, he still showed up to work. This morning, however, he had woken up feeling completely averse to the idea of doing anything and unusually melancholy.

For fear of his mental state becoming even gloomier after raging at uncooperative clientele, Shizuo had called Tom and told the other man (with no little amount of shame) that he needed to take the day off. Of course Tom hadn't minded at all, but Shizuo couldn't help but be frustrated with himself for taking a holiday for such a selfish reason. Especially when his employer had already been giving him so many days off because of all the gang violence…

And it was all because of that goddamn flea!

Shizuo growled angrily under his breath, releasing a plume of smoke as he stormed down the street, terrified bystanders scrambling out of his way and looking to see if there was any sign of the blond's mortal enemy.

He didn't know why he was still so surprised about the whole thing. Izaya had played him well, that was true, with his whole friendly act, but a flea was still a flea, and Shizuo should have seen it coming.

"Ugh, get out of my head!" he yelled, his irritation mounting as he heard someone hurrying by mutter "crazy" under their breath.

Any other day, Shizuo would have started something, but he was still too much in shock over the betrayal to be spoiling for a fight. There was too much on his mind…

In order to avoid terrifying any more citizens with his ramblings, Shizuo turned down a narrow alleyway, figuring he should probably stick to the less-crowded areas until he cooled down.

First, he needed to stop thinking about Izaya, and then he could relax. Silencing all thoughts about the insane brunet was proving impossible, however. As soon as Shizuo tried to think of times Izaya could have been acting, his memory gave him ten more displays from the flea of what could have only been genuine emotions. All of the sweet smiles he had seen in the past few weeks, the honest laughter he had heard, and those dark eyes that he had caught looking at him with something akin to affection more than once…

But who was to say none of that had been a lie, either? Shizuo had no idea what Izaya had been planning with him, so the flea could have been desperate, using every tactic he knew to get the bodyguard to trust him.

"_I just wanted to be around you, Shizuo…"_

Muttering a disgusted curse, Shizuo kicked the nearest innocent object he could reach down the alleyway, an unfortunate soda can. Why was he thinking about this? The flea had betrayed his trust, had been using him all along. Why couldn't he just leave it at that and get over it?

"_I really,_ really_ like you."_

Shizuo shook his head in an attempt to silence his own mind. It hurt to think of the things Izaya had said to him, the confessions he had thought were the truth. But they had never meant anything to the informant.

"Izaya, you bastard. Even if you didn't care like you said you did, it meant something to _me_," he said quietly, his eyes squinting as he looked up into the gray skies.

The third day of May, and already it looked as though spring was going to be ruined by rain.

"I bet you think I'm invincible or something, just because I don't hurt easily," continued the man to himself, reaching up to place one of his hands over his heart, "But this hurts."

Shizuo hadn't thought, that first day Izaya had suggested the weird truce between them, that he would ever come to appreciate the stupid flea's company. But now that Shizuo had only lonely evenings and days to look forward to, he was beginning to realize just how much he had come to depend on the other man's mere presence. Izaya had kept that empty feeling that had settled in Shizuo's heart at bay, replacing it with something warmer.

It didn't matter now, though, he supposed. None of it had ever been real, and the sooner Shizuo's gullible heart realized that, the better off he would be.

He sighed to himself, tossing his half-smoked cigarette to the ground as he walked on, losing himself in his thoughts.

The ex-bartender barely even noticed when he stumbled over something soft and heavy on the ground.

"What the–?"

As soon as Shizuo looked down to see what his foot had collided with, his thoughts finally came to a halt.

It was a kid, probably close to graduating high school, but a kid nonetheless. His eyes were shut, and he was lying in an expanding puddle of blood. Was he dead…? Shizuo nudged him with his foot again, relieved when he heard a feeble groan. Stranger or not, Shizuo still hated violence, and he would have been pissed if his already miserable day off had been made even worse by some corpse.

"Tch."

Focus shifting from the thankfully-not-a-corpse, the blond looked above the boy at the wall he was propped up against. There, standing out brightly against the concrete wall, was the green symbol Shizuo had become overly familiar with in the past few weeks.

Something else for which that no-good louse was to blame.

Shizuo leaned in a bit closer when he spotted a difference, though, his eyes squinting and head cocking as he tried to read the sloppily-sprayed kanji. All it said was "loyalty".

"Eh, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" grumbled the man irritably, "I'm not in the mood for any of this cryptic shit. Reminds me of that flea."

Izaya… Farewell Rogers…

Was this new string of violence the flea's fault? Shizuo's expression soured at the thought. The more he dwelled on it, the more likely it became. Haha, surely Izaya didn't think that an act like this would make his involvement with the gang any less suspicious. Shizuo might not be as smart as the informant, but he wasn't _that_ stupid.

He knew the truth now, about Izaya, about their fake "relationship", and there was no way Shizuo was going to let the louse trick him into believing otherwise.

Not again.

He turned to leave the way he had come, but paused.

He really didn't like violence, and if whatever misfortune had befallen this kid was Izaya's fault, then that just gave Shizuo all the more reason to help him out, right?

The man pulled his phone from his pocket, quickly punching in a number he had memorized ages ago and waiting with mounting irritation for the person on the other line to pick up.

"Ah, Shizuo! I was worried you might not want to talk to me again after yesterday. How did things go with-"

Heart clenching painfully at the underground doctor's words, Shizuo cut him off before the feeling became overwhelming.

"Don't wanna talk about that," he said gruffly, "Ran into some injured kid two blocks from Russia Sushi. He's just lying in some alleyway. You should probably ask Celty to come pick him up."

And with that, Shizuo hung up.

Casting one last glance in the unconscious student's direction, the bodyguard made his way from the narrow alleyway, thoughts once more on the very man he had been trying to stop thinking about since the moment he had woken up.

"What are you thinking, Izaya?"

Overhead, the sky rumbled.

* * *

From where he looked over Shinjuku from his office chair, watching the storm settle atop his city and cast it in shadow, the day was going surprisingly well for Izaya. He had been sure to catch a few minutes of sleep after wreaking havoc on the internet so he would be able to appreciate the full extent of his bitterness.

What sort of god would he be if he didn't let his humans feel his own tumultuous emotions?

Besides, it was their fault he felt like he did now. Humans had introduced Izaya to love and hate, they had taught him the subtle yet significant differences between the two passions, and they had let him fall into that miserable condition so lightly labeled "in love". Though Izaya felt much more like he had stumbled, tripped over himself, and fallen into love with the last creature on earth he should ever trust with something so precious as his own heart.

He really hadn't been thinking, and look where his carelessness had gotten him.

"So what exactly did it take for you to get these children killing off their own comrades in the span of a night?" a disinterested voice inquired dryly from the other side of Izaya's desk.

The informant grinned at the question, pleased both with the words themselves and with the woman's presence. After his outburst from yesterday, he hadn't been so sure he'd be able to call her back to work so soon, but he decided the faster the world around him went back to normal, the faster _he_ would go back to normal.

Normal being relative, of course.

"Oh, the usual~" giggled Izaya, spinning around so that he could take in the full gloriousness of his assistant's unimpressed expression.

"I dropped some nasty rumors about the Farewell Rogers breaking off into opposing factions in a chat room or two… or twenty."

"But why? Other than for you own twisted amusement, I mean."

Eh? Namie was abnormally curious today. Certainly she couldn't think that Izaya's slip up yesterday gave her any liberty to pester her own employer.

With a careless shrug, Izaya spun around once more, putting his feet down on the carpet of his office to stop himself so that he could continue facing the windows.

"Why not? Shizu-chan broke all ties with me, so I see no need to keep a bunch of useless pawns around…" seeing Namie's brows furrow in the reflection of the glass, Izaya shook his head in disappointment, "Or could it be that you're asking because you believe what Shizu-chan said about me being their leader? Make no mistake, Namie, I was indeed controlling them for my own needs, but I am neither their founder nor their leader. Their origin is still, unfortunately, a mystery to me. And likely one that will go unsolved if the rest of today continues on as it's begun~!"

Namie wanted to make a variety of comments involving the sanity, hobbies, and lifestyle of her boss, but was cut off by an irritating ringing that came from her bag across the room.

"That might be Seiji," she said absentmindedly, more to herself than to Izaya as she hurried over to the annoying device.

Izaya's narrowed eyes followed his secretary in the window for a few moments before diverting his attention back to the city below. Something about their exchange bothered him, but the informant couldn't put his finger on what it was…

"Hello? Ah…"

Namie's voice trailed off as she wandered out of the apartment, likely wanting to keep any and all personal conversations of hers far from the ears of the observant informant.

The spark of curiosity kindling within Izaya was snuffed out as the large apartment fell silent. He frowned as his heart fluttered irritatingly within his chest, causing him to release an exhausted sigh.

His apartment really was far too lonely when it was just him.

All at once, the informant found himself missing that deep, gentle voice to which he had become so accustomed in the past few weeks, and he had to close his eyes against the onslaught of unwelcome emotions he had been trying to bottle up all day.

Why'd it have to end like this…?

* * *

"Yes, hold on," Namie said in annoyance as she made her way over to one of the sofas in the spacious lobby of Izaya's apartment complex.

"You should be grateful I picked up the phone; I told you to never call me while I'm at work," she snapped, "And I don't care if you're in a crisis."

The slow-witted boy on the other line uttered a series of weak excuses, which only caused Namie's mood to worsen. She sent a particularly dirty glare in the direction of a woman who was looking at her as she walked by with a bit too much curiosity for Namie's liking, and the other woman scurried away quickly.

"No, I owe you nothing. All I wanted was for a few of you to keep watch over Seiji for me, but somehow you let yourselves degenerate into a lowly gang–" that whiny voice interrupted her, and the woman decided that she definitely wasn't going to help this stupid brat.

"Don't mistake me for your leader. Maybe I got the group of you together, but I never intended for you to become what you are. Besides, I'm not helping you now that _he's_ involved. I'm not exactly sure what you did to piss him off, but you can thank him for today's excitement," she said coldly, an amused smirk on her lips as she listened to the boy's useless appeals.

"No, no, you've seemed to handle them all just fine on your own."

The next line she said very quietly, her eyes darting around the lobby suspiciously as though she expected to see someone spying on her.

"I have no further use for you, so I hope you enjoy the last few days you have with whatever's still left of the Farewell Rogers."

Her phone snapped shut with a muffled click. Glad that that waste of her time was over with, Namie got to her feet, dusting her skirt off before making her way back up to her employer's office.

In hindsight, perhaps revealing to the Farewell Rogers that Izaya was the source of all their recent misery had not been wise, but Izaya was a big boy.

Namie was convinced that the informant could handle himself just fine.

* * *

**8] HAHAWUT! Anyhow, I'm off to go work on my assignment for creative writing now, since I switched out of German IV into the best class _ever_.**

**As always, review if you want, or don't, but reviews make me super-duper happy ^u^ I will see you cool cats next week~! (I'm so excited to write ch16, you don't even know...!)  
**


	17. Chapter 16

**It's official: I really hate the dub voices 8D; Sorry to anyone who likes them... My DVD came in last Friday (just in time for Shizuo and Kamiya's birthday~!), and I watched it all in Japanese. My sister and I tried to watch the Shizuo v. Izaya scene from episode 3 dubbed, but we couldn't do it... orz It was painful. I don't even particularly dislike Freeman or Bosch! I just don't think the voices fit at all. And it doesn't help that I hear Lelouch whenever I hear JYB's voice. But, eh. Enough wank~**

**Thank you all soooo, so much for all of the reviews, favorites, and alerts! ;u; I honestly can't believe that I've almost hit 200 reviews on here. I LOVE YOU GUYS! ;A; Also, thank you to my lovely beta, _pssty_, who has managed to stick with me for a little over six months now.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Vol.9 would already be out and on my shelf, and a season two would have already been announced for the anime.  
**

* * *

May the fourth had come sooner than Izaya would have liked, as it just so happened to do ever single year.

He glared at the little calendar on his desk in betrayal, wondering why the hell it couldn't have just stayed on the third for a while longer. His frustration was slightly unreasonable this year, however. Sure, things weren't looking up like the informant would have liked; the man he loved wanted nothing to do with him, he had no consuming games to play with humanity, and he didn't have much desire to do anything, but his birthday hadn't been terrible either. No one had beaten him up yet, and he hadn't even gotten stabbed this year. If Izaya hadn't been so fearful he'd jinx it all, he'd have thought it was the start of a new string of good luck on his part.

Good as the day was, though, he knew it wouldn't last for much longer.

His stomach gave another pitiful grumble, and Namie shot the man a look of indignation as though his organs should respect the fact that she was trying to work.

"If you're hungry, go eat something," she snapped, "You're not an invalid."

Giving one of those sighs he knew so irritated his assistant, Izaya pushed himself away from his desk. Really, the problem was that he was used to getting ootoro from Russia Sushi on his birthday. It was an opportunity he took to appreciate both his favorite food and his favorite city. He knew it was silly, but regular ootoro – delicious as it was – simply didn't taste as good as birthday ootoro.

The only problem was Russia Sushi's unfortunate location. Izaya couldn't go to Ikebukuro anymore. No, he wouldn't. With all of his enthusiasm for manipulating humans having deserted him, he didn't see much point in visiting the city. Especially since now such a visit would only bring up painful memories.

He had spent too many days in the past few weeks strolling through those familiar alleys and streets with the brute he had come to know as a friend. As something more than a friend.

"I suppose you're right for once. What a monumental moment for you, Namie~" giggled the man as he got to his feet.

His assistant's sharp voice was berating him for the remark, but Izaya tuned her out.

Namie actually was right, despite the mocking tone in which Izaya had delivered his praise. There was nothing keeping him from going out other than himself. And if he wanted to get over Shizuo, he'd just have to get passed all of these unpleasant feelings. The best way to do that was to face the problem head on.

"Feel free to leave whenever you finish what you're doing," Izaya interrupted the woman's infuriated rambling.

Blinking her eyes in surprise, Namie broke off when she had just been about to utter what would have been a very scathing insult.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't need your help today, and I'm going out for a bit anyway. But if you really want to stay, I can find something for you to do," he threatened with a cheerful grin, loving the way Namie's expression tensed at the mention of more work.

"No, I'm almost done with what I'm doing," she said.

Normally Izaya would have preferred for the woman to protest so that he could give her something else to make her evening more tedious, but he didn't want her around when he returned from Ikebukuro later. Though the informant was hoping that all went well, there was no telling how the universe would manage to screw him over on the only day it had ever seemed to be able to one-up Orihara Izaya.

Depending on what happened, whether he ran into Shizuo or something worse, Izaya would rather Namie not see anymore of his embarrassing displays of emotion.

A thought seemed to occur to his recently brilliant secretary, and Namie looked up from the set of folders she had been sifting through.

"You're not going to Ikebukuro, are you?" she asked, exasperation practically dripping from the words.

"Eh~? Is Namie worried about me?" Izaya giggled.

She deadpanned at the question, unimpressed. Huh, well this really was something. Izaya would have expected her to snap back with some poor excuse for a retort (she lacked the biting wit that Izaya was so fortunate to possess), but now it looked like she was about to give him a serious answer.

"No," she replied, "You're many things, Izaya, but I never knew that stupid was one of them. I don't care what sort of trouble you get yourself into as long as I get my paycheck every week. If you run into Heiwajima-san, though-"

Cold laughter cut her off, and it was all Izaya could do to not clutch at his sides as he walked into the genkan of his apartment.

"Nothing's changed, Namie. I've always been able to handle that monster before, so I see no reason I should be unable to do so now. If Shizu-chan wants to play, then play we shall~" he called confidently over his shoulder as he closed the door behind him.

Namie's brows knit together in thought.

For an informant who prided himself on always telling the truth, Izaya had just told a pretty obvious lie.

Nothing's changed? The woman snorted in disbelief.

Everything had changed.

* * *

Surprisingly enough, Izaya had waltzed into Ikebukuro, straight into Russia Sushi, and back onto the streets with an unsettling lack of trouble.

The sun had gone down, leaving Ikebukuro in the light of the seemingly endless amount of signs that lit up every building. Being a weeknight, the streets were not as crowded as Izaya would have liked them to be for his own peace of mind. Each time he spotted another person walking along, his eyes would dart suspiciously in their direction until he deemed them harmless.

Since he had arrived, Izaya had fortunately not run into Shizuo, but that fact alone was enough to set him on edge. Nothing had gone wrong this May fourth, so it was only a matter of time before the protozoan found Izaya, and then…

What?

Izaya had tried to keep his mind preoccupied with other thoughts since two days prior when Shizuo had put an end to the bizarre relationship between them. But with the threat of the other man finding him so real, the informant couldn't help but think about what had happened.

For all of the deep, revealing conversations the two had shared, Shizuo had missed the one fact that would have probably saved Izaya from the blond's cruel accusation.

Not once had Izaya worked up the courage to tell Shizuo that he – against his better judgment – loved him. Before, he would have blamed it on poor timing or his desire to keep from moving his plans along too quickly, but now that his chance with the other had been ruined, Izaya could see his decision to keep the truth from Shizuo for what it was.

Cowardice.

As highly as Izaya thought of himself, he hadn't been able to get past his fear of rejection. If Shizuo had outright rejected him, then Izaya would have taken that as a clear indicator that something must be wrong with him, that he had some deficiency that made him unworthy of the love he wanted most.

At least this way the blame was on Shizuo. Other than being a coward, there was nothing wrong with Izaya. He wasn't the one at fault here.

"See how it is, Shizu-chan?" he chuckled softly to himself as he walked along a guardrail, box of ootoro dangling at his side as he balanced himself, "I can't get you off my mind. You're not even here, and you're still able to bother me. How troublesome…"

If he did have the great misfortune to run into the other man, what would happen? Would Shizuo try to kill him for his supposed "betrayal" of the blond's trust? Or, even worse, what if Shizuo ignored him completely?

Izaya faltered at the thought, landing awkwardly on the hard cement as he slipped from the guardrail. What if Shizuo wanted nothing to do with him so much that he wouldn't even spare Izaya the time it took to try to kill him?

He was pulled from his thoughts by a quick movement out of the corner of his eye.

Instantly alert, the informant whipped his head around to see who was following him, if anyone at all. His gaze rested on a small group of kids trailing off to his right several yards away.

A smirk appeared on his lips at the very idea that these kids looked like they wanted to start something, but it was extinguished the moment he caught the leader's eyes.

He recognized the boy. It was Ueda Kazuhiro, leader of that lovely group of brats that had been terrorizing his favorite city. And from the dark, malicious look in the boy's eyes, Izaya could tell that he meant business.

"Ah, Kazuhiro-kun~!" called Izaya to the small mob of kids, "It's been a while, hasn't it? I've missed all of our lovely conversations."

The seven Farewell Rogers, possibly all that was left of them after Izaya's meddling, whispered amongst themselves for a few moments, their eyes darting to Izaya and back every so often.

"What's this~? You know it's rude to talk about other people when they're right here, Kazu-kun! Keep it up, and you're going to hurt my feelings," he said with a fake pout.

The few people who had been in the area were beginning to clear out as they took note of the rough appearance of the group of young boys and the identity of the man yelling to them.

"Cut the shit!" Kazuhiro spat angrily as he and his group stalked closer towards Izaya, several of them pulling various weapons from their pockets and coats as they grew near.

"You know why we're here."

Izaya paused for a moment, appearing as though he were actually giving it some thought. In reality, his mind was only focused on one thing.

That somehow – just like Shizuo two days ago – these stupid children had found out exactly what they should not have. Who they hell had given away his secret this time?

"Eh~? Don't you think attacking me just because I wanted to raise your rates is a little extreme?" teased Izaya.

On the inside, he was seething. No, of course that's not why they had come looking for him. Kazuhiro wasn't the smartest leader ever, but he wasn't a complete idiot; he would never start trouble with a well-known information broker just because Izaya had wanted to raise the rates the group of thugs paid him.

The only reason Kazuhiro would be here now would be if he had found out who had been behind his gang's self-destruction. And if he knew that – which Izaya knew he did – then it looked as though this birthday was going to turn out to be just as unhappy as the other twenty-three.

"Don't you wish, Orihara-_san_," the boy sneered, and the way he rapped the crowbar he held against his knuckles caused Izaya to tense, his eyes narrowing.

"Yeah," an impossibly less-intelligent sounding kid piped in, "We know you're the one who spread those rumors around about us turning on each other."

"Is that so…?"

The informant dropped the innocent act, his amused grin vanishing from his face to be replaced by a steely look. He had his flickblade out and against Kazuhiro's throat before any of them could think twice.

"If you don't want me to bleed you out where you stand, you're going to tell me who gave you your information," demanded the brunet.

Unused to this side of Izaya, none of the boys knew what to do and exchanged nervous glances as their leader was threatened.

Haha, what sort of a gang didn't come to its own leader's rescue?

Kazuhiro glared up Izaya, hatred burning in his eyes. A thin line of blood trickled down his skin as he flinched forwards, but Izaya's grip on him tightened until he stilled.

"It's not like it matters to me whether you know anyway," the boy growled darkly, "Her name's Yagiri Namie."

Izaya nearly dropped his knife in surprise.

No fucking way.

All of the signs he had missed, each suspiciously probing question, the times the woman had lost herself in thought around her employer… how could he have missed it? He was an informant for fuck's sake!

Laughter bubbled from Izaya's throat, and the man nearly stabbed right through Kazuhiro's throat as he bent over in mirth, resting his forehead against the gang leader as he laughed until he was breathless. Kazuhiro would have tried to get away when he had the chance were it not for the threatening way Izaya was still holding him.

"Of course. Thanks to you, Shizu-chan…"

Kazuhiro stared at his helpless companions in confusion. They had known Orihara Izaya had a few screws loose, but what the hell was going on?

"Heh… I'll bite, Kazu-kun," Izaya finally said, that eerie cheerfulness back in his voice, "Why would Namie be involved with a group of brats such as yourselves?"

Looking more and more pissed off by the second, Kazuhiro practically spat the answer in Izaya's face.

"Tch, she got a few of us together a little while ago to keep some high schoolers in check. Something about them bullying her brother's girlfriend or some weird shit. As long as it looked like we were doing our job, she kept funding us and didn't ask questions," he said.

Izaya's hold on the boy slackened, his brows furrowing at this answer. He figured it must have had to do something with Seiji – his assistant's bizarre love interest – but for Namie to not keep these kids in check was strange. Things must have been pretty bad for Mika and, by extension, Seiji for Namie to act so rashly.

He didn't get much more time to think about the situation as Kazuhiro suddenly pulled out of his grip, hissing a bit in pain as the blade of Izaya's flickblade grazed his skin and left a shallow cut. The teenager moved quickly, and Izaya just barely managed to duck out of the way before a crowbar came down where he had just been standing.

"I guess you don't need my help anymore if you're going to treat me so rudely," huffed Izaya, his tone lacking its usual sarcasm as he focused more on avoiding the boys than on talking.

"You've outlived your usefulness," one replied.

Izaya grabbed the end of a baseball bat that had just been swung at him, shooting the kid at the other end a malicious smirk before he used the weapon to pull the unsuspecting teen closer so that he could drive his flickblade into the other's side. With a feeble gasp, the boy fell to the ground, clutching his side.

How overdramatic. As long as the stupid human kept still, the wound wasn't fatal.

"I was about to say the same to you," the informant laughed as he twisted out of the way of another poor excuse for a weapon to deliver its wielder a particularly harsh kick to the knees, sending him crumpling to the pavement.

Even with two down, the fight was still five on one. Izaya backed up, holding his bloodied knife out before him as he kept each of his opponents in his view.

Two of their comrades down, the remaining Farewell Rogers weren't playing around anymore, their eyes glittering with malice in the light of the streetlamps.

"You're not gonna be walkin' away from here tonight," one of the quieter ones threatened.

Izaya made no reply, fearful that if he let his guard down for even a moment, one of them would land a hit. Instead, he feinted forwards, diving for Kazuhiro at the last second and lashing out at the boy's angry face.

Sparks died in the air as the teen brought his crowbar up, stopping the flickblade in its path and pushing back. Izaya pulled away, darting around the group hurriedly as the other four came at him, infuriated that he had made another attempt on the life of their pitiful leader.

The kid coming at Izaya now, holding in his hand what looked like a kitchen knife, didn't look like he could be older than fourteen, and – not for the first time – Izaya found himself reflecting with exasperation on the joke his life had become recently. Seriously, he had gone from dealing with the yakuza to getting jumped by an angry mob of kids in less than a month.

The brunet swaggered out of the way of the knife, giggling at the other male's terrible aim as he lashed out to deliver a series of punishing slashes, destroying the boy's cheap jacket and causing droplets of blood to spatter across the cement. With a pained cry, the kid staggered back, staring down at his bleeding arm in horror before glancing at Kazuhiro with pleading eyes.

"Don't you dare-" his leader began, but the boy had bolted before the threat could be finished.

Good, that was three down and four to–

Where was the fourth one?

Just as Izaya whirled around to look for the Farewell Roger who had somehow escaped his notice, a sharp pain stabbed into his back, and he collapsed on the ground with a violent curse, his vision now filled with nothing but lamplight and the cheap, dirty shoes of his attackers.

When the fuck had one of them gotten a taser?

A foot drove itself harshly into Izaya's side, but he didn't utter a sound, his enraged glare focused on something else entirely.

His takeaway box of ootoro had landed on its side a few feet away.

That was his birthday ootoro, dammit!

One of their feet connected with Izaya's shoulder, and at that the man did gasp. The bruise Shizuo had given him a few days ago had almost disappeared completely, but the area was still incredibly sore.

Shizuo…

This was all that protozoan's fault! If Shizuo hadn't pinned the Farewell Rogers' existence on him and ended their friendship, then Izaya would have never felt the need to destroy the gang from the inside out, he wouldn't have come to Ikebukuro in an attempt to get over the blond, and his birthday would not have been ruined just like it was every year before.

That emptiness was creeping over Izaya's heart once more, numbing the informant to the feeble strikes delivered to him by the gang members as he remembered why he was really in this mess.

It wasn't Shizuo's fault at all. Izaya had been the one to fall in love with the other man, and this was what he got in return.

Because, try as he might to love others, to love all of humanity, nobody would ever love _him._ Not even the one person who had come to matter most.

Izaya let his eyes slip shut. The harsh strike of metal against his back caused him to wince, but he had suffered far worse at the hands of Shizuo. Compared to that, this was a walk in the park. Besides, there was little he could do now but wait for the paralyzing effects of the taser to wear off, and then he was going to show these ignorant brats exactly why they shouldn't mess with Orihara Izaya.

* * *

For the first time in the past two days, Shizuo's mind was calm. Logically, he should have been in more emotional turmoil now than he had been since he had last seen that goddamned flea, but when he tried to work up the feelings of betrayal and heartbreak, he felt only numbness. Perhaps the absence of feeling was worse than what the bodyguard had been feeling before, but he decided to enjoy it while he could before those miserable emotions returned.

Kasuka had left for Britain not six hours ago, he and Shizuo's farewell having been rather rushed at the airport due to the actor's bodyguards trying to hurry him away from the mass of fans that had come to see him off and to his terminal. Shizuo hadn't been as torn up as he thought he would have been, but he knew that was due to both his brother's excitement (muted as the feeling might have been) at getting an international role and the way he had been feeling beforehand.

Now that Kasuka was gone, off working on another movie, things felt like they were going back to normal. Though Shizuo felt like something essential was missing, time went on.

He would get over what had happened between him and the flea… Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Maybe Izaya had already gotten over it, and any moment now Shizuo would turn the corner to see that stupid louse waiting to harass him with that shit-eating grin on his face. Shizuo knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help but feel elated at the thought.

It had only been two days since he'd seen the flea, but after the amount of time Shizuo had been spending with the informant, those two lonely days felt like weeks.

He threw his third cigarette in the last fifteen minutes to the ground, stomping it out with more force than necessary.

What the hell was he thinking? Izaya had been the one to betray him! None of it had ever been real!

Here he was, his brother having left the country a mere handful of hours ago, and already Shizuo's mind was back on the worthless flea. Maybe he was just as sick and twisted as Izaya, the way he was wishing he could see the other man again.

He had told Izaya they were the same; it wouldn't be surprising if they both shared similar masochistic tendencies.

With a defeated sigh and a shake of his head, Shizuo made to keep walking towards his apartment, but a flash of motion down the adjacent street caught his eye.

All of his previous calmness vanished in an instant, leaving the Monster of Ikebukuro to wonder if it had ever really been there at all. He could feel his pupils dilating in rage as he took in the sight of four teenagers attacking some miserable, curled-up form on the ground. In his anger, Shizuo didn't notice the two kids already laying on the ground, one with a knife wound in his side, and the other grasping at what might be fractured kneecaps. No, all he saw was the outnumbered figure on the ground in need of help.

Without another thought, Shizuo reached out towards the closest heavy object he could see. The vending machine, its dim internal lights blinding in the dark, gave a few sharp snaps in warning as it was pulled from the cement and hoisted over Shizuo's head, but the group of kids didn't notice, too wrapped up in their sick sport.

"You think four on one is fair, huh? HUH?"

The livid battle cry was the only thing that alerted the group to the oncoming danger. But the vending machine was already flying through the air, and it was with wide eyes that the boys registered what was happening far too late.

* * *

Izaya recognized the voice as soon as he heard it. How could he not after spending years running as soon as he heard it? His heart skipped at the thought that Shizuo might be helping him, but it was more likely that Shizuo hadn't recognized who he was yet from where he stood.

He'd deal with Shizuo in a bit; right now there were still those absurd children to fight off.

The vending machine Shizuo had thrown flew right over the informant, hitting one of the Farewell Rogers in the chest and causing the other three to jump out of the way.

"I-is that Heiwajima Shizuo?" one of the three still standing stuttered fearfully.

Kazuhiro cursed under his breath and stomped his foot against the pavement.

"Who gives a fuck who it is? Take him down!" ordered Kazuhiro, making to run at Shizuo.

Man, and Izaya had thought the kid might actually have two brain cells to rub together. It was no matter; Kazuhiro wouldn't even get close to Shizuo, noted Izaya with a smirk as he twitched his fingers.

The effects of the taser had finally worn off.

"Where do you think you're going, Kazu-kun~?" Izaya purred.

Kazuhiro jumped in shock as he felt the informant's hands grip his ankles tightly before pulling backwards. With a grunt of pain, the boy fell face first onto the pavement, his only remaining comrades ignorant to the danger their leader was in as they idiotically charged at a very peeved looking Shizuo.

Fortunately for Izaya, Shizuo still seemed not to notice him. His focus was wholly on the children, no more than flies to the brute, coming towards him as he tore one of the streetlamps from the ground. There were a few snaps and crackles before the stretch of road they were on became even dimmer.

Kazuhiro was caught off guard by the sudden change in lighting, giving Izaya the opportunity to fling himself on top of the boy, flickblade heading for his already bleeding throat.

His crowbar was up with surprising speed, knocking the blade off course with a clatter of metal against metal. Izaya chuckled, pleased that at least the boy wasn't making this too easy, and practically danced a few feet away as the leader got to his feet.

"After dealing with me so much, I would have thought you'd know better than to underestimate me," sighed Izaya in disappointment.

"I didn't," Kazuhiro chuckled as he took a swing at the informant that Izaya easily sidestepped, "You'd be dead if it weren't for Heiwajima."

A wide smirk crossed the brunet's features.

"You really don't know very much, do you? If you were smarter, you would have planned for Shizu-chan to show his ugly mug, because wherever I am in Ikebukuro, he's usually not far behind," he taunted with a laugh of genuine amusement.

Furious at being mocked, Kazuhiro lunged forwards, swiping at the hand Izaya held his flickblade in, but the informant was faster, skipping out of Kazuhiro's reach with a giggle after a barely-noticeable movement. Without much more than a flinch on Izaya's part, Kazuhiro was now bleeding from a nasty cut under one of his eyes.

Izaya glanced over to see how Shizuo was doing, wondering how much time he had left before he had to deal with the blond himself. The last of the two boys who had gone to attack Shizuo was flung into the side of the nearest building, groaning wretchedly as he fell to the ground, his friend already laying in a motionless heap on the side of the street.

Shizuo's breathing had hardly accelerated, and he tossed the now-bent lamp to the side with a huff. His gaze darted further down the street to where Izaya and Kazuhiro were fighting, and he froze.

Izaya made no sign that he had noticed the other man, turning back to the teenager before him and smirking widely.

Almost as if by magic, another cut had appeared on Kazuhiro's face, though on the other side this time.

"You fucker!" snarled the leader angrily.

He brought his weapon up as if to strike Izaya across the skull, but the informant only laughed in his face.

"Ne~? But aren't I nice, Kazu-kun? Now both sides match! Besides, it's not like you were very attractive to begin with…"

If Kazuhiro had thought to wonder why the informant continued to grin sardonically at him despite the rod of metal that was only moments from being embedded into his cranium, perhaps he wouldn't look so shocked when his weapon didn't make contact, his arm frozen in the air as another hand gripped the crowbar.

"I hate people like you," a low voice spoke, "Kids who think they can do whatever they want just because they travel around in a pack."

The crowbar bent as the larger hand holding it tightened and ripped it from Kazuhiro's grip. Izaya's expression had turned serious once more as he watched the last Farewell Roger turn around to face Shizuo.

"This isn't any of your business!" the boy yelled angrily.

With a feral growl, Shizuo's fist connected with the side of Kazuhiro's head, sending the boy flying down the street. His body hit the ground hard, and Izaya couldn't help but cackle at the high-pitched squeak the gang leader emitted as he skidded to a stop.

"Anything to do with the flea is my business," Shizuo grumbled.

Warmth flooded Izaya's face at this statement and he hung his head so that Shizuo wouldn't see.

There hadn't been any sort of protectiveness in his voice, and yet his words still inspired a stupidly pleased reaction from Izaya. Tch, Shizuo hadn't meant to protect him, he was just angry that someone else was trying to kill Izaya.

Even though the informant knew that, he couldn't help feeling grateful.

"Hey, Izaya-kun…"

At being addressed so softly by the blond, Izaya looked up hopefully.

Only for that hope to be crushed a second later when Shizuo grabbed him roughly by the front of his white jacket.

The smile on Shizuo's face spoke only of bloodlust; there was none of that former affection that Izaya had wanted to see so badly.

"What the hell makes you think you're allowed to show your lying face in 'Bukuro?"

* * *

**Derpderp. Just like my sex scenes, my fight scenes are too drawn out. But that's just how the cookie crumbles, I guess! I was all excited for ch16, and then the scenes went on for too long, so now all of the parts I adore are in ch17... OH! But you all are in luck :] I was so dissatisfied with ch16 when I finished that I jumped straight to working on ch17 (normally I take a few days' break to work on OC stuff), so you should be seeing it sooner than you're used to seeing updates ^ ^**

**As always, review if you'd like, or don't, but MAN OH MAN, reviews make me happy~**

**Anyhow, there is homework to be done, so I will see you cool cats soon :)  
**


	18. Chapter 17

**You cats ready for my favorite chapter? C: Really, ch17-19(?) are all my favorites, but ch17 is the first of the set, and... YOU'LL SEE (I hope). Once more, I thank my beta, _pssty,_ in spirit for being awesome ;; Though I think I am releasing her from beta services as she's pretty busy with real life, and I feel bad having her edit my stuff OTL**

**Thank you all so, SO much for all of the reviews/alerts/favorites! I honestly can't believe that I've hit 200+ reviews~! It's like my heart is bursting! ;u; Sorry I've been so crappy with replying to reviews for ch16; I will do better this time!**

**Disclaimer: NOPE. I've said it before, but season two would have already been announced. (guess who's impatient? 8D;)  
**

* * *

Izaya eyed the brute holding him with distaste. As long as he didn't show Shizuo how much he had hurt him, how much he _was_ hurting him, he'd be fine. Izaya would show him that he, too, could just as easily pretend nothing had happened between them.

"Y'know, Shizu-chan, I've always wondered why you think you own this city. You don't get to choose who stays or who goes," he cocked his head to the side and grinned slyly, "I guess you are an animal, though. Animals tend to get pretty aggressive when it comes to their territory."

All of the tense anger drained from Shizuo's face. He regarded Izaya calmly, tilting his head to the side as though he were examining a particularly interesting subject. It was all the informant could do to keep from revealing to the other man just how much this creepy composure set him on edge.

"I never knew you to be suicidal, louse," Shizuo remarked thoughtfully.

"Why? Are you really going to kill me now? Because I never knew you to be a murderer, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo glared at Izaya for a long moment. The informant stared back with the least amount of concern he cold muster, though all the while he was baffled by the lack of hatred in the other man's gaze. He thought that things would have gone back to the way they were between them, so why wasn't Shizuo looking at him with the same violent passion he used to?

Perhaps Izaya's worst fears were being realized, and the monster no longer wanted anything at all to do with him, even if that meant giving up chasing him around Ikebukuro.

The brunet's heart twisted at the thought.

"It's not murder to squash a bug," growled Shizuo, but he released his hold on Izaya, letting the smaller man place his feet back on the pavement.

Izaya chuckled softly as he picked imaginary dirt off the fabric that had just been in Shizuo's hold. The blond was watching him warily as though he expected Izaya to make some smart remark or attack him.

Much to the bodyguard's surprise, Izaya did neither of these things, instead walking over to a small box lying on its side where it had been dropped on the cement and bending down to pick it up.

"And yet you let me go," Izaya said. For once it wasn't a taunt, just a simple statement.

Shizuo shuffled a little nearer to the informant to see what the hell he was doing. Izaya was peering down into the box with a faint scowl on his face that gradually morphed into a look of relief as he examined the contents.

"What the hell is that, flea?"

"Eh? Just ootoro," responded the brunet offhandedly before turning to face Shizuo once more, serious expression restored to his handsome features.

"I'll admit I'm surprised, Shizu-chan, though it's not like this is the first time you haven't done what I expected," he started, eyebrows drawn down, "What's keeping you from finishing the job the Farewell Rogers started, hm~? Surely your emotions aren't stopping you, since I betrayed your trust, right?"

Though the subtle sarcasm in Izaya's voice caused Shizuo to hesitate, it was the informant's words themselves that caused him to ask:

"Wait. These kids," – he cast his gaze at the motionless heaps scattered about the pavement in various states of unconsciousness – "are Farewell Rogers?"

Before Izaya could respond with an evasive, biting remark, Shizuo continued.

"Tch, not surprising considering what you did to them."

For a fleeting instant, surprise flickered across Izaya's features, but it was soon enough replaced with condescending amusement.

"Oh~ Shizu-chan gets smarter and smarter every time I see him! Did you figure this one out for yourself?" giggled the brunet.

No stranger to having to control his own violent emotions, Shizuo caught the seething anger hidden beneath the question. Heh, figured the flea would still be angry about him finding out his little secret.

"It made sense that you'd try to cover everything up by destroying them," replied the ex-bartender with a shrug.

A shiver ran up his spine as the night air filled with the sound of that empty laughter he had come to hate, the forced laughter he heard from Izaya when the louse was trying to hide his true feelings, trying to pretend he didn't hurt just like every other human.

"I take back what I said before, you're still an idiot," Izaya laughed.

Shizuo waited, unimpressed and not at all fooled by the display, until the fake giggles died out. Izaya's dark eyes glittered icily when he looked back up at the blond.

"Don't flatter yourself by thinking that I forced the Farewell Rogers to extinction because I wanted to redeem myself in your eyes. You knew the truth already, so why would I bother? No, my reasons for erasing them from my beloved streets are nothing so complex. They got on my bad side, that's all," he explained coolly.

He must have thought Shizuo didn't see the way he was shaking.

"Izaya–"

"_What_, Shizuo? What the hell could you possibly believe we still have to talk about?" snapped the brunet.

"Izaya–"

"Personally, I can't figure out why you're still standing around. You don't seem to be in the mood to play, and I was just leaving, so you might as well leave me be. There's nothing left to be said between us."

"Izaya, shut up!" Shizuo shouted, finally getting the other man's attention.

The flea narrowed those creepy eyes of his, watching Shizuo with a mixture of anger and reluctance. Seeing as he actually intended to listen to what the ex-bartender had to say, Shizuo continued.

"I just… This whole situation's a bit weird, isn't it?" he asked rhetorically, jerking his head in the direction of the nearest unconscious Farewell Roger, "I thought I knew what was going on, but now I feel like I might've acted a little rashly when Shinra and Celty told me what they'd seen."

Izaya snorted at that, and Shizuo could hear him mutter something that sounded like "A little?" under his breath.

One of Shizuo's eyebrows twitched at the flea's derisive attitude, but he forced himself to calm down. There was no sense in getting mad at Izaya when – for once – it might be Shizuo who had done something wrong. It wouldn't have been the first time the blond had acted when he wasn't thinking clearly, when he was caught in a fit of rage, but it would have been the first time he had made such a terrible mistake.

"I'm a fucking idiot," growled Shizuo more to himself than to the informant.

"Nice to see it's finally sunken in, Shizu-chan. I've been telling you that for years. Care to elaborate on this most recent revelation of yours?" Izaya sneered back, but the jibe lacked its normal malice.

Shizuo glared at Izaya for a moment, silently willing the smaller man to keep his mouth shut for once in his life while he spoke.

"Whether or not any of this shit about you being involved with this gang is – was, whatever – true, I should have asked you first. Bad history or not, we've spent enough time together in the past few weeks that I shouldn't have gone back to believing the worst about you, Izaya. I meant what I said when I told you that I… that I like you, but the way I treated you two days ago didn't really show that, I guess… I should've given you the chance to explain yourself," said Shizuo carefully with a noncommittal shrug.

Unlike Izaya, he wasn't one for words, so he was determined to say exactly what he was thinking so there wouldn't be any more misunderstandings between them.

After several moments, wherein Shizuo had still not received a reply in either the form of a barbed comment or a legitimate response, he hesitantly raised his gaze from the pavement. He hadn't even realized that his focus had drifted from Izaya to his own feet as he spoke.

The informant was staring back at him peculiarly, as if he didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

Finally, Izaya sighed and raised his shoulders in defeat.

"So what is it exactly that you want, Shizu-chan? You can't go back and fix what's already been done. Not even I can do that," he tacked on with an empty smirk.

"No, but I'm giving you the chance to tell me the truth now. The _real_ truth. Even if it's exactly what Shinra and Celty told me, I want to hear it from you, Izaya."

A drawn-out silence followed the request. Indecision flickered across the brunet's face as he watched Shizuo, the only clue to his internal debate. Though it caused Shizuo's heart to twinge with pain, he knew he deserved the distrust Izaya was showing him now. For all the informant knew, Shizuo would just fly into a rage no matter what he told him.

Coming to a decision, Izaya turned his back on Shizuo, and the bodyguard felt as though he was being strangled by his own heart, the muscles in his jaw clenching as his jaw tensed to keep back what he knew would have been a very pitiful noise of protest.

He knew it. As much as he might want to fix things now, he and Izaya's relationship was broken beyond repair. And he had no one to thank but himself.

"Ne, Shizu-chan? Don't just stand there like a stunned caveman. Isn't your apartment this way?" Izaya teased.

Shizuo's despair washed away as though it had never been there, and he could only blink stupidly in response as Izaya glanced over his shoulder to scowl at him.

"Seriously, I know your brain's pretty underdeveloped, but I thought even you were capable of walking and talking," the brunet muttered.

There was the hint of a smile on his lips.

"Sorry," mumbled Shizuo as he caught up to Izaya, shuffling behind the informant as he resumed walking towards Shizuo's apartment.

"Anyway, Shizu-chan, where would you like me to start?"

Shizuo opened his mouth to give a perplexed response – his request for the truth had been simple enough, or at least he had thought so – but Izaya cut him off before he could take a breath.

"How about from the beginning of this whole mess, hm? Don't drift off, because I won't be repeating myself."

"Whatever, flea. I can keep up with whatever you've got to say."

If Shizuo were walking beside the other man, he knew he would have seen a disparaging smirk on Izaya's face, but as things were, the bodyguard contented himself with glaring half-heartedly at the equally disparaging back of Izaya's head.

"You're a violent man, Shizu-chan," stated Izaya suddenly.

Excited to for once be able to mock the flea's intelligence (the opportunity had never before presented itself), Shizuo was prepared to point out the obviousness of the informant's statement just as Izaya continued.

"You are, and always have been, the very definition of violence: violence personified. And yet you declare that you _hate_ violence."

"Where're you going with this, louse?" Shizuo growled, feeling that familiar emotion of discomfort welling up in his chest as his temper so unexpectedly became the topic of discussion.

"I'm getting to that," Izaya assured him.

"As I was saying, Shizu-chan, you are violence, but you hate violence. When I first met you, I was thrilled with this paradox, as it meant that you must exist in a constant state of self-loathing," – the informant paused to laugh wryly, and Shizuo suspected that Izaya might be feeling a bit of disgust for himself, something he had never thought possible for the flea – "How could you love yourself when you embody the one thing you hate most? And you can't escape it, because violence is as much apart of you as being manipulative is of me. I found it endlessly amusing, the fact that the only thing keeping you from true happiness is yourself."

Though Shizuo had said he would listen to everything Izaya had to say, he found himself shaking at the brunet's words. What was Izaya doing bringing this up now? Yeah, what the louse said was the truth; Shizuo hated this strength of his, this strength that clung to him like some toxic plague that repelled anyone and everyone who even tried to get close.

This strength that kept him not only from being loved by others, but from being loved by himself…

Anger and sadness warred within him, anger – as always – winning out as the dominant emotion, but Izaya's next words were like cold water to him.

"But one day, it stopped being funny."

"Why? I thought you were into sick shit like that."

They were walking beneath a very familiar overpass now, not two blocks from the ex-bartender's apartment. Shizuo hardly noticed his surroundings, though, still trying to find out how the hell any of what Izaya was talking about connected back to what had happened two days ago.

"It's hardly 'sick shit'," scoffed Izaya, "The only thing I enjoy more than how humans interact with each other is how they interact with themselves, that one person they can never get rid of. Of course I'd be fascinated by someone like you who causes their own suffering."

Shizuo could think of no response to this. He didn't know what he had been expecting; he had no reason to think Izaya would have miraculously changed from a creepy douchebag to a normal human being just because they had shared several heartfelt conversations (and a little more) lately.

And yet, Izaya had said that he no longer found Shizuo's self-loathing to be very funny.

A sigh brought Shizuo back to the present, and he realized that they had slowed down considerably, Izaya having turned around completely so he was walking backwards, his dark eyes focused on his taller companion.

"Fascinating though your internal struggle was, I couldn't laugh anymore because I realized that I'm the same as you. I'm self-destructive in the exact same way, even if my destructive methods don't involve me throwing around vending machines. I've gone through life loving – or thinking I loved – all of humanity, but knowing full well that no one would ever love me because of my hobbies. I'm aware that I push others away, but I can't help myself. I enjoyed every second I spent entrapping people in the webs of their own lives, too much to give it all up for something so superficial as love," said Izaya, his gaze shifting from Shizuo to the apartment complex they were nearing, its rundown form looming over the two in the darkness.

"Enjoyed…?" echoed Shizuo, not understanding Izaya's use of the past tense.

He shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. Look, Izaya, not that I don't appreciate you pouring your heart out to me, but what does any of this have to do with the Farewell Rogers?" he asked.

They were making their way up the stairs to Shizuo's apartment now, Izaya still walking backwards and regarding Shizuo with those searching eyes of his. How the informant managed not to trip over something in the darkness, Shizuo had no idea.

"Alright, Shizu-chan, I'll get to the point if all of these words are just confusing your feeble mind, though I was really hoping you would have put the pieces together by now and figured it out for yourself…" sighed the brunet with mock disappointment.

Shizuo growled. Put what pieces together? In his opinion, the flea had been talking around the subject, so how the hell was he supposed to connect it all?

Seeing that the taller man was not going to find his own answer any time soon, Izaya interrupted Shizuo's aggravated thoughts.

"Ugh, it's really not that difficult… You said that you noticed how the Farewell Rogers were targeting you and Tom's clients, right?" – Shizuo nodded, not even looking as he fumbled around with the key to his apartment, entirely focused on Izaya – "Well, that's because I was the one setting those kids after them. But that's as involved with them as I ever got, Shizu-chan. I only ever gave the Farewell Rogers names of who they thought were their worst critics, I never told them what to do with those names, and I certainly never told them to go attack any of those Raira kids. You accused me of controlling them, but all I was doing was giving them their information. I was never their leader or anything."

The door to Shizuo's apartment swung open, and the bodyguard gestured for Izaya to go first, turning on the lights as the informant wandered in before him. Warmth flooded Shizuo's heart at the sight of Izaya once more walking into his apartment, and it was as though the brunet himself – not the cheap tungsten lighting – was chasing away the darkness of night and loneliness within.

A soft, familiar trill echoed in the apartment, coming from the kitchen Izaya was just passing by, and the informant's attention was momentarily diverted. Iza-chan was much friendlier to his namesake now than he had been the last time the two had met (granted, this time Izaya wasn't holding the animal against its will while he theorized aloud to it), and he rubbed his broad face against Izaya's leg.

Crouching down, Izaya reached out to smooth down the black fur on the cat's back, his eyes alight as a tiny, innocent smile appeared on his face. As Shizuo watched the informant cooing softly to the cat, the serious conversation between the two of them momentarily forgotten, he wondered if this was how things could have been between them if he hadn't ruined everything by showing Izaya how much he still didn't trust him.

The brunet seemed to realize something, and Shizuo cocked his head as he watched Izaya reach for the takeaway box he'd had with him since the Farewell Rogers had attacked him. He could hear the smaller man mutter something to the cat before he popped the box open and set it down on the floor.

Surely the flea hadn't gone all the way to Russia Sushi to get food for some cat! Shizuo leaned forwards slightly to see what Izaya was feeding the loitering animal, and wanted to groan when he saw the ootoro inside.

But, as annoyed as Shizuo could pretend he felt that a cat was eating better than him, he couldn't help but find the informant's small act of kindness towards a weaker creature endearing. Shizuo always took the other to be one of those people who kicked puppies and laughed as he walked down the street.

Not like it wouldn't be the first thing he had been wrong about lately.

"Ne, Shizu-chan? You didn't die on me, did you? I thought you wanted answers," snickered Izaya, getting to his feet once more and looking at the blond.

He raised an eyebrow at Shizuo's now flustered silence, a knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. Realizing that he was staring, the blond huffed, doing his best to ignore the blush creeping up the back of his neck as he spoke.

Damn louse had probably meant to distract him from the topic at hand!

"If you weren't their leader, then why get involved at all? I don't get why you had them beating the shit out of my clients in the first place…" he said awkwardly, his embarrassment fading as he was brought back to the serious nature of their conversation.

Izaya sighed and rolled his eyes with an amount of exasperation that any teenage girl would be in awe of.

"Because if I hadn't sent them to do it, you would've, Shizu-chan. Isn't that always what happens? You get irritated on the job, one little thing sets you off, and you fly into a rage and end up hurting someone," explained Izaya, and Shizuo could tell from the clipped tone of the brunet's voice that he was getting impatient with having to say all of this.

Heh, and here Shizuo had been thinking that Izaya loved nothing more than the sound of his own voice.

"Don't you get it? You hate violence, so I knew that you couldn't possibly enjoy losing your temper so much. The self-loathing you feel is no longer entertaining to me, so I decided to do something that _would_ be fun, which is where the Farewell Rogers came in. I had them go after those I knew would anger you most to save you the trouble and hours of moping. The only reason I ever got involved with that gang was not because I've been planning anything diabolical or whatever your poorly misled brain thinks, Shizu-chan, but because I wanted to… help you."

Izaya spoke those last two words with a slight frown, his head dipping so that his eyes were shadowed by his hair. He turned his head back in the direction of Iza-chan, watching the cat eat his ootoro as though it were the most fascinating thing in the world.

Confused by this change in attitude, it took Shizuo a second to realize that Izaya was embarrassed by his confession. It figured the flea would be someone embarrassed by doing something selfless for others.

Oh.

Shizuo shook his head and chuckled with a wry grin. How could he have forgotten? It wasn't because Izaya had done something for someone else; it was because he had done something for _Shizuo._ Of all people, for Izaya to randomly decide he wanted to help out his previously sworn enemy was ridiculous and entirely out of character. After the two had spent so many years trying to kill each other, none of it made any sense. Arguments of watching him wallow in self-loathing no longer being fun aside, Shizuo could think of no real reason for Izaya to do something so absurd.

"I don't understand," admitted Shizuo slowly, his eyebrows drawn down in thought, "If this were something you'd started doing after our truce, flea, it'd make more sense to me, but what the hell would ever make you want to help me before that?"

"Always the protozoan," Izaya sighed.

Shizuo's hands twitched slightly into fists before relaxing again. Well, excuse him for not being able to understand Izaya's most recent bout of insanity! Whatever Izaya's reason was for using the Farewell Rogers to make his life a little easier also had to be the reason for why the louse had called a truce between the two of them, and Shizuo was incredibly frustrated that he couldn't figure it out for himself.

But he was asking Izaya to help him out here, dammit!

"Heh, calm down, Shizu-chan. For once I didn't mean to make you mad," the informant giggled as he grew closer, his hands up in the most pacifying gesture he probably knew how to make.

Shizuo noted with horror at the way his heart began to beat more loudly in his ears with every step Izaya took. After spending the past two days trying to smother his stupid, doomed feelings for the other man, had he really been unable to put an end to them?

This wasn't fair, that Shizuo still felt like this when Izaya seemed to so easily forget the past few weeks between them…

"I already told you what you wanted to know, and I'm not in the habit of giving more information than what's necessary, but I suppose I should be accommodating for a protozoan such as yourself. The reason for why I used the Farewell Rogers and why I got close to you is very simple," said Izaya, the smirk on his features hardly disguising the peculiar hesitance in his voice.

"I wanted to steal something of Shizu-chan's."

"W-what?" Shizuo spluttered, at once looking around his small apartment for something that might be of some unknown worth.

What the fuck could Izaya possibly want to steal from him?

His thoughts came to a dramatic halt as the informant laughed softly and placed one of his ring-adorned index fingers against his chest. The sound of Shizuo's heart beating was deafening in the following silence, and it was like the very moment seemed to pulse with the same rhythm of that strong yet fragile muscle. He could feel Izaya shivering nervously through where the brunet's finger connected to his chest, as though some invisible current ran through the two of them.

Slowly, so slowly, Shizuo's disbelieving gaze traveled down to where Izaya was prodding him, his breath catching in his throat. He knew the answer before Izaya spoke, but there had to be some mistake. He had to be misreading the signals.

There was absolutely no way – even if Izaya had admitted to liking Shizuo – that the flea actually…

"Idiot," huffed Izaya, but there was only fondness in the word, "Here."

He tapped Shizuo's chest, right over his heart, for emphasis.

"My _heart_, Izaya?" Shizuo breathed, bringing one of his hands up to grasp Izaya's tightly. He feared that if the other man were to move his finger even a fraction of an inch, just slightly enough so the two were no longer connected, that it wouldn't be true, that Izaya would be lying as he always was.

That his heart would fracture even more until it was irreparable.

"Why?" he asked, and in his voice was a plea.

His eyes looked into Izaya's red-brown ones searchingly, expecting to see at any moment a flash of disgust, a flash of that old hatred, but the Monster of Ikebukuro found only honest affection staring back at him.

Izaya smiled.

"Because Shizu-chan stole mine a long time ago."

* * *

**I know it's not a lengthy chapter or anything, but... it's my favorite so far ;; Er, anyhow.**

**Review if you'd like, or don't, but reviews are like cupcakes for my soul! Thank you guys so much for reading :] Has it really been half a year? Whoah.  
**


	19. Chapter 18

**You guys, I am so unbelievably sorry for my absence ;; Especially after the overwhelming response I got to chapter 17 (seriously, my heart probably exploded about a million times reading all of the lovely comments you all left me, holy snap. You readers are way more than I deserve, and I really adore you guys ;u; Thank you for sticking with a weirdo like me!)... There's an explanation after the chapter for why I was MIA for so long, but for now:**

**Disclaimer: If I owned DRRR!, there wouldn't be any official body pillows D: Just thinking about the things that will be done to those poor pillow!Shizuos and Izayas makes me sad orz  
**

* * *

"But I hated you," responded Shizuo softly.

As soon as the words were spoken, he wished he could take them back, Izaya's expression tensing with something akin to pain at the memory. But the informant took a deep breath and sighed.

"We've already been through this," he teased awkwardly, and a thrill of warmth ran acrƒoss Shizuo's skin as the brunet's hand shifted so it lay flat against his chest while Izaya spoke.

"It doesn't matter what we thought we felt, right? I understand what I was feeling towards you now and why it made me act the way I did. There's no use in dwelling on the past," Izaya said with a shrug.

"How do you–"

With his free hand, Izaya hurriedly covered Shizuo's mouth before yet another question could spill past the blond's lips. Though his eyebrows were drawn down in irritation, the tiny smirk on the informant's face betrayed his amusement.

"Ne, Shizu-chan, what's with all the questions? Protozoans should just accept what they're told."

Shizuo growled and muttered something against Izaya's hand, the movement of his lips against the smaller man's palm causing him to shiver slightly. Izaya was painfully aware of the way his heart hammered in his chest due to his proximity to Shizuo, but he did his best to hide his embarrassment. It wouldn't do for the bodyguard to know just how easily he could undo one of Japan's most notorious informants.

"What was that?" asked Izaya, removing his hand so that Shizuo could repeat himself.

"I said," grumbled the blond, "that I'm sorry I don't understand how you could ever…" he trailed off uncertainly, the blush on his face more than enough for Izaya to figure out what the brute had been about to say.

"How I could ever _love_ you, Shizu-chan?"

Somehow, the flea made the word sound like a curse. Confused, Shizuo wanted to ask what the hell had brought on the sudden bitterness after Izaya had seemed to be in such an oddly un-Izaya mood, but the informant was threading his fingers in his blond hair now, effectively derailing his thoughts of further questioning the smaller man.

"Words are beyond a feeble-minded brute such as yourself, I see. I'll just have to show you," said Izaya in exasperation.

And with that, he pulled Shizuo down so that their lips could connect.

Shizuo's eyes widened in surprise at the bold move, stunned. It was only when the tip of Izaya's tongue grazed his bottom lip that the blond allowed his eyes to flutter shut as he parted his lips for the informant. Izaya hummed approvingly at the response, and his grip on Shizuo's hair grew almost viselike when the bodyguard ran one of his hands down to the small of his back to pull him closer.

There was a lot Shizuo knew that the two of them still had to discuss, so many questions he still wanted to ask, but for now he would let himself be carried away by Izaya's desire to prove his love.

Forced by the necessity for oxygen, the two broke away for a moment to catch their breath, and Shizuo was taken aback by the passionate haze in Izaya's eyes as the informant caught his gaze. The flea's heart was beating so fiercely against him that Shizuo felt as though Izaya's heartbeat had become his own, drowning out any other sensations until the only thing the ex-bartender could focus on was the smaller man he held in his arms.

Seeing that this might be the last time he would get to make any sort of protest, Shizuo spoke up.

"Izaya, are you sure you want this?" he asked, trying to will away the breathless quality of his voice.

Izaya's eyes narrowed in a way that was very familiar to Shizuo, and the blond would have thought that the two of them were standing across from each other on the streets of Ikebukuro, locked in one of their violent battles, were it not for the fact that there was no hatred or anger in the flea's expression.

"C'mon, Shizu-chan," grumbled Izaya in clipped tones, "You always complain about how _I_ never shut up."

"I'm being serious. Do you really want this? Do you really want…" – that fading blush was back on Shizuo's face – "me?"

Izaya had the resilience to look peeved for a moment longer, and Shizuo thought that the informant might make another smart, evasive remark, but those hands now resting on the back of his neck pulled him down once more into another kiss with the brunet.

Shizuo sighed with a mixture of relief and gratitude when he felt those soft, warm lips on his again, and he instantly urged them apart with his tongue so that he could explore the increasingly familiar mouth. His sigh turned into a soft groan as Izaya's tongue danced with his own, shoving back against Shizuo's with every thrust and teasing stroke.

Focused entirely upon the wonderful gasps and whines the informant was making as Shizuo sucked on his tongue, the ex-bartender didn't notice that he and Izaya were stumbling backwards until Izaya was pinned against the door of his apartment. The two were now pressed lip to lip, heart to heart, and hip to hip, but Shizuo wanted to be closer.

He needed more contact; he needed to feel more of Izaya.

His hands traveled from where they had been smashed between the small of the informant's back and the door, ghosting over Izaya's ass before gripping his thighs and hoisting him up. With a satisfied groan, Izaya wrapped his legs around Shizuo's waist, his nails scratching at the blond's neck.

Shizuo pulled away from Izaya to catch his breath, his body shivering as he panted. His pale gaze met Izaya's, and the need within him flared painfully at the sight of the informant.

Izaya's eyes were glimmering nearly the same deep red color they had in Shizuo's dream what seemed like so many nights ago, and his eyelids were heavy with lust as he looked down at the man holding him, his abused, pink lips parted as he also tried to regain some of the air Shizuo had stolen from his lungs.

And yet there was just the ghost of that shit-eating grin on Izaya's face. What had previously been an expression that enraged Shizuo, sending him into fits of rage, now made his desire to touch the informant that much stronger, as though all of that old violence had been morphed into passion.

Burying his face in the crook of Izaya's neck, Shizuo set to licking and biting every patch of skin in sight, his tongue traveling slowly along the other man's pale flesh as he reveled in the taste that was so perfectly Izaya.

With every scrape of teeth or the swipe of Shizuo's tongue across his neck, Izaya emitted a soft gasp, each increasing in volume until the informant finally bit down on his bottom lip to stop the embarrassing noises.

Shizuo smirked at the unspoken challenge. So Izaya wanted to keep quiet, huh? The flea was far too proud.

"Izaya-kun," purred Shizuo against the brunet's skin, loving the way Izaya shook at the sound.

"You were so vocal last time. Why hold back now?"

Izaya scowled, but even his expression of frustration was cute.

"I remember no such thing, you ridiculous neanderth_ah!_"

The informant was forced to break off with a gasp when Shizuo's hips suddenly snapped up into his, the blond's clothed arousal rubbing against Izaya's ass. Shizuo groaned softly and repeated the motion, nuzzling his face against Izaya's neck as he soaked in the pleased sounds coming from the other man's throat. The feel of Izaya tightening the grip his legs had around Shizuo's waist spurred the bodyguard on, and soon enough he and the informant had set a frantic rhythm to the grinding of their hips, the muffled thud of Izaya's shoulders against the door little more than background noise.

"Need you so bad…" growled Shizuo, punctuating this remark with a particularly sharp bite to Izaya's abused throat.

"You– _hnn…!_ already have me, idiot," Izaya teased with a great amount of effort.

Another harsh thrust of hips against hips. Izaya's fingernails dug into the back of Shizuo's neck, and a pleased shudder racked the brunet's slender body as the friction of Shizuo's stomach rubbing against his arousal intensified.

"Not enough," was the blond's eloquent rebuttal.

Before Izaya could taunt the other for his caveman-like way of speech or his animalistic lust (because Shizuo knew there was definitely a taunt coming by the way the flea huffed at him), a hand found its way between the two of them and was working to pull down the informant's zipper. Izaya gave a small whine at this, and halted Shizuo's progress by grabbing the blond's wrist tightly.

"Ah, Sh-shizu-chan," Izaya murmured, his eyelids fluttering as Shizuo continued to assault his neck.

"Hmm?"

"Don't you think we should move to the bed if we're going to do this? My confidence in your ability to fuck me while standing is somewhat lacking, what with the _nnah…_" – Shizuo was nipping a line along Izaya's jaw now, his smoldering gaze locking with the informant's and challenging him to continue; Izaya never turned down a challenge – "way you seem to have such… diff_ah!_ difficulty with walking and talking."

The former bartender paused in his ministrations, peering at Izaya curiously. Izaya glanced away in obvious discomfort, the blush on his face intensifying as he stared unseeingly down the hallway at where Iza-chan was just walking by.

Shizuo smiled at the flea's insult, a poorly veiled request. He had almost forgotten that this was Izaya's first time, too, but he would have thought the informant wouldn't care where they had sex. Shizuo had never pegged Izaya as one of those more traditional types.

"What the hell are you grinning at?" snapped Izaya.

He was looking at Shizuo again, glaring at him with all his might. The shy blush across his face wasn't doing anything to help his intimidating act, though, and Shizuo only found himself grinning even more widely.

"You're too cute," Shizuo chuckled, and the informant's expression grew sourer.

Izaya appeared as though he were about to make a snide retort, but Shizuo pulled him away from the door, and the brunet made a faint hum of panic as he tightened his hold on Shizuo to keep from falling, thoughts of insulting the bodyguard forgotten for now.

"And for the record, I'm not fucking you," said Shizuo suddenly as he shoved the door to his room open with one of his feet, arms currently occupied with keeping the informant's body against his.

"Oh, Shizu-chan's going to let me fuck him? I never thought you to be a bottom, but you've always been unpredictable," Izaya said.

Meanwhile, Shizuo was wondering how the hell the flea kept that sly look on his face while his still-clothed erection was rubbing against Shizuo's stomach with every shift of their bodies.

"Haa? That's not what I meant, louse," Shizuo grumbled when they finally reached the edge of his bed.

And then, his eyebrows furrowing as though he were mustering all the courage in his being, added:

"I want to…"

His mumbling grew even more inaudible, and Izaya cocked his head to the side as he lowered himself down onto the edge of the bed.

"Excuse me?"

Shizuo fidgeted with the button at the wrist of one of his sleeves, looking anywhere and everywhere but at the informant. Now he supposed he knew how Izaya had been feeling; this was a little embarrassing…

But this was Orihara Izaya, and after years of being lifelong enemies, even if they had become much more lately, Shizuo refused to show him his weakness.

"I want to make love to you," he said, looking Izaya straight in the eye.

The informant was stunned into silence for a moment, and Shizuo couldn't help but feel a little proud of himself for causing Izaya to be at a loss for words. Izaya recovered quickly, though, the peculiar, surprised expression on his face replaced by amusement as he laughed.

"I never thought protozoans cared much for semantics," he giggled, "But have it your way. Fucking, sex, making love, it's all the same to–"

Shizuo captured the annoying informant's lips once more before he could finish his sentence, not wanting to hear whatever stupid argument Izaya had to make about Shizuo's word choice. Besides, there _was_ a difference between the two.

Shizuo would just have to show him.

He crawled onto the bed with the brunet – still connected at the lips – which forced Izaya to scoot back to make room for him, one of his hands working its way back into Shizuo's hair.

While Izaya was distracted with Shizuo's tongue running along his, groaning softly into the blond's mouth, the ex-bartender snuck his hands beneath the hem of Izaya's black shirt, trailing his fingers up the smaller man's sides.

Izaya shivered at the touch and only clutched Shizuo more tightly. The kiss was quickly becoming frantic as Shizuo's hands roamed along the informant's back, his flat stomach, his hips–

"Ah! Shizu-chan?" Izaya breathed, his mouth finally separating from Shizuo's though his arms still remained firmly entwined around the other's neck.

"Mm?"

The blond had now set himself to the task of covering Izaya's neck and collarbones in love bites, but Izaya could tell by the way Shizuo's pale eyes flickered up to his that he had the other's attention.

"Lay down."

Delighting in the way Shizuo's red blush came back in full force, Izaya couldn't help but smirk. Had all of the ex-bartender's confidence just been a front?

"Why?" he asked, suddenly wary and further worried by the way Izaya's smirk only became more devious.

"Didn't I ask you to cut it out with all of the questions~?" the informant teased, "I promise you'll like it."

His heart fluttered stupidly when Shizuo reluctantly moved off of him to lay down on his back, that blush an ever present fixture on his handsome face. By the way Shizuo took such a suspicious command from the informant without genuinely questioning his intentions, Izaya could tell that the brute definitely trusted him more than he had thought.

Feeling light at the thought, Izaya crawled over the blond, hoping to whatever powers there might have been that Shizuo couldn't hear the pounding of his heart as he stared down at his former enemy.

The way Shizuo's hazy eyes were watching him, burning with lust and affection, caused Izaya to hesitate, and it was as though the muscle pounding beneath his ribs skipped several beats.

He finally had him.

* * *

Izaya snapped out of whatever trance he had fallen into, seeming to remember Shizuo was laying beneath him (though how he could have forgotten, the blond couldn't fathom).

"Ne, Shizu-chan?" the brunet hummed, cocking his head the side slightly as he leaned down so that he and Shizuo were practically nose-to-nose.

"What, flea?"

Just from the mischievous look in Izaya's eyes, Shizuo could tell that he wasn't going to like the louse's next request. Because, yes, it was definitely going to be another request; Izaya wouldn't look so amused if it were something sweet and innocent.

Not that he believed Izaya to be capable of doing anything sweet and innocent anyway.

"Close your eyes~"

Shizuo stared up at the other, certain that Izaya was going to do something weird.

But then the informant ran the bridge of his nose along Shizuo's jaw before pressing a line of insistent nips against the skin. He shifted so that more of his weight was settled right above the ex-bartender's aching erection.

"Please?" he breathed.

Shizuo couldn't close his eyes fast enough.

Were his mind focused anywhere but on the beautiful man straddling him, Shizuo would have laughed at the ridiculous contrast between their past and their present situations. His throat constricted with some unnamed emotion when he heard Izaya take a deep, steadying breath.

Was it love that was making him feel warm and restless?

Izaya's lips found the sensitive juncture of his neck and shoulder, and he shivered as the informant gently nipped at his skin, both fascinated and amused by how hesitant Izaya was being about the whole thing. Sure, the flea had said he'd never done this before, but Shizuo had thought that the devious brunet would have been more confident.

The way those delicate hands worked over Shizuo's body now as they moved closer and closer to the hem of his black pants spoke only of self-consciousness. Izaya wanted to do this right, or at least as best he knew how.

Shizuo could almost feel the informant's searching gaze on him before those hands suddenly undid his pants.

"Flea, what're y– _ah…!_"

While he had let his mind be momentarily distracted by thoughts of what Izaya was planning to do as he had his eyes shut, the informant had shimmied down his body, unbuttoning Shizuo's weskit and pushing his shirt up so that he could plant shy little kisses down the bodyguard's torso as he moved. Shizuo's back had already been arching into that soft touch, but what had caused his line of thought to break off so suddenly was the hand that had found itself in his boxers and was now palming his erection.

"See, Shizu-chan? I said you'd like it," Izaya giggled, and a shiver raced up his spine when he realized how close Izaya's mouth had gotten to the bulge in his boxers.

W-was he going to…?

He swallowed with some difficulty at the thought. Izaya _had_ said that he'd fooled around a bit. Was this what he meant?

The hand already teasing his cock was joined by the other as Izaya pulled down the elastic waistband of the blond's boxers, and the cool air against Shizuo's hot flesh caused him to shudder only momentarily, as Izaya's warm breath was on him soon enough, those sweet lips hovering just over the swollen flesh.

"Izaya," Shizuo spoke clearly, fighting passed the lump of anticipation in his throat.

"Yes, Shi-zu-chan~?" Izaya replied.

Each syllable was a tortuous breath against his erection.

"Y-you really don't have to do this," continued the blond, remembering to keep his eyes closed even though he knew Izaya was grinning up at him.

He wanted to see that mischievous, knowing smile. But he knew he'd lose whatever self-control he still had if he looked.

One of Izaya's fingers teasingly trailed down the side of his erection, causing Shizuo to gasp.

"But I want to."

Any further protests Shizuo wanted to make were silenced when that warm, wet mouth closed around the head of his cock.

"_Shit_," growled the bodyguard, his eyes finally snapping open to get a good look at what Izaya was doing.

Izaya had probably known that Shizuo wouldn't be able to keep his eyes shut for any longer, a telling smirk gracing the stretched corners of his lips as he locked his gaze with the ex-bartender's. Shizuo's breathing was ragged as Izaya pressed the tip of his tongue against his erection, and the brunet chuckled softly at something he saw in Shizuo's expression, the sound sending pleasurable vibrations through his cock.

"Izaya…" he groaned, one of his hands reaching down to bury itself in Izaya's black hair while his other grasped at the headboard of his bed.

Encouraged by his reactions, Izaya took more of the blond's length in his mouth, eyelids falling closed over his fiery, dark eyes as he focused on what he was doing with his tongue, his lips, even his teeth…

"Nnn… ah!"

The bodyguard arched his back and pressed his head back into the pillows of his bed, unable to stifle a rather embarrassing mewl when Izaya lightly grazed his teeth against the hypersensitive flesh. Izaya glanced up, probably concerned that he might have hurt the other man, but the way Shizuo's mouth now hung open, a thin string of saliva trailing down his jaw line as he stared at Izaya through narrowed eyes erased any worries the informant might've had.

Shizuo knew that he wouldn't last very long with the way Izaya was maneuvering that talented tongue of his along his hot flesh, tiny tremors of pleasure racing up the blond's spine and causing him to tug on Izaya's hair, urging him on. Cooperating for once, Izaya brought his head down until he was nearly deep-throating the other man.

The informant was smirking around the cock in his mouth, and Shizuo thought to ask Izaya what he found so damn amusing, but even if Izaya didn't decide to stop what he was doing in retaliation, he'd have to stop temporarily to respond, and the last thing Shizuo wanted right now was to be deprived of this mind-blowing pleasure.

Soft, wet sounds accompanied Shizuo's breathy moans and whines as Izaya's mouth teased his cock, filling the silence of the room until it was all he could focus on.

Blood was pounding in his eardrums, suddenly deafening him as the muscles in his stomach began to tighten.

"I-Izaya, stop… I'm gonna…!"

The request was so breathy, so feeble that Shizuo feared it would go ignored, but Izaya brought his head up quickly, surprising the blond with an expression that was devoid of any amusement.

Though his heart was still thundering in his chest and tiny jolt of pleasure continued to race across his skin, Shizuo felt himself easing off of the edge.

Licking a small bit of Shizuo's pre-cum from his lips, Izaya smiled and reached one of his hands out, brushing some stray blond locks from Shizuo's eyes. Warmth burned in his normally cold eyes as he watched Shizuo, his head cocking to the side as though he were contemplating his handiwork, but all Shizuo cared about were the gentle fingertips that had come to rest on the side of his face.

And then the moment was gone, Izaya's smirk fixed in place as he moved back up to straddle Shizuo, careful not to brush the other man's still-aching erection as he peered down into the blond's misty eyes.

"Shizu-chan's too cute like this," he purred, leaning down to press a kiss to the side of Shizuo's neck, lips moving down until he was littering the man's collarbones with tiny nips.

Shizuo could only groan in response, letting his eyes slip shut once more as he gave in to the wonderful sensations of Izaya's mouth on his skin, fingers gracing sensitive spots the bodyguard hadn't even known he had. Part of him felt as though he had missed something all of his life by never doing this before, but another part was glad that he had saved his first time for the incorrigible flea that had tormented him since high school.

He couldn't imagine anyone else running their fingers gently beneath the hem of his shirt like Izaya was right now, peppering his skin with kisses, or pressed so close to him that their heartbeat had become one. No one but Izaya could have ever made him feel like this.

The sudden absence of Izaya's hands on him caused Shizuo to open his eyes. Already his body missed the brunet's touch, and he felt as though he were being deprived of something as necessary as oxygen.

He made to ask what the louse was doing now, but Izaya halted his thoughts with an insistent tug on the pants the blond was still wearing.

"Don't want to get these dirty, right, Shizu-chan?" snickered the informant.

Shizuo rolled his eyes, remembering all of the old bartender outfits that Izaya had so carelessly destroyed in the past, but made no comment. The louse would only argue with him, and arguing was one of the last things Shizuo wanted to do right now.

While the ex-bartender squirmed out of his pants, Izaya likewise set himself to the task of removing his clothing. Though his motions were slow and deliberate as he peeled off each layer of clothing, Shizuo could tell that the informant was holding himself back, willing to put off getting what he wanted if it meant he could keep a bit of his pride.

Even when about to have sex, Izaya was almost stubborn to a fault, but where it had infuriated Shizuo before, it now only made the ex-bartender smile. This stupidly stubborn man was about to be his.

Once both of them had rid themselves of their clothing (Izaya still managing to undress faster than Shizuo despite his self-control), Shizuo sat up so that he could reach the other man, his eyes taking in the brunet's slender, beautiful form as he wrapped an arm around Izaya's waist and pulled him closer.

"What's that stupid grin for?" Izaya sneered, likely wanting in on whatever Shizuo was thinking.

Was he really that hard for the flea to read?

Rather than answering in words, the blond pulled Izaya forwards so that he could capture his lips once more, groaning softly at the way the informant's tongue instantly moved to massage his, warm breath causing Shizuo's body to feel unbearably hot.

As soon as they broke away for air, Izaya's face still close to Shizuo's, the brunet's gaze shifted over towards the nightstand by Shizuo's bed. With a wave of embarrassment, Shizuo realized what Izaya was going to ask before the words were even out of his mouth.

"Not that I can think of a time when you would've ever needed it before, but might you have any lube, Shizu-chan~?" Izaya cooed.

Shizuo didn't bother responding to the half-hearted insult, instead stretching across the bed to open the nightstand and retrieve a tiny bottle. Upon seeing the look of surprise on Izaya's face, the blond hurried to explain.

"I thought that I should be prepared. If I ever did bring someone over, I didn't want to hurt them more than I probably already would," he mumbled, unable to meet the informant's eyes.

Izaya laughed softly, and muttered something under his breath that sounded like "Shizu-chan's so sweet" as he snatched the small bottle of lubricant from Shizuo's hand, instantly drawing the blond's focus back to him.

"Wait, what're you doing?" asked Shizuo, a shock of panic running down his spine as Izaya squeezed a generous amount of gel onto his fingers.

"Relax, will you?" Izaya snorted, smirking up at him while he worked the cold lubricant between the pads of his fingers, "I'm not going to do anything to you that you don't want me to. Have a little faith in me."

Shizuo felt like he had heard that exact line fall from the flea's conniving lips before, probably before being stabbed in the stomach, but he forced himself to relax now. Seeing his reluctant cooperation, Izaya smirked, but said nothing, leaning forwards slightly so that the bridge of his nose grazed Shizuo's neck.

The blond's breath hitched when Izaya reached his lube-slicked hand back, fingers running down the end of his spine before slipping between the cheeks of his perfect ass, probing until – with a tiny groan – he found his own entrance.

"Nnn… ah, Shizu-chan…"

Captivated by the other man's actions, Shizuo found himself frozen, his hands twitching beside him on the sheets with the desire to touch. He stiffened when Izaya's eyes fluttered to half-mast, staring up at him with lust, affection, and warmth in his gaze while his hot breath ghosted across Shizuo's skin as a constant reminder that yes, this was reality. Yes, Izaya really did want him.

The informant shivered against him when he found his sweet spot, practically mewling into Shizuo's neck while he thrust his hips back onto his own fingers, little beads of sweat rolling down his skin and causing his hair to stick to his face all the while.

"Shit, Izaya," Shizuo murmured, finally reaching down towards his own dripping erection while he watched the flea prepare himself.

One of Izaya's hands smacked Shizuo's away, and the bodyguard jumped at the sudden contact, painfully aware of how much his body needed Izaya.

"_Izaya_," he growled.

He was willing to wait if the louse needed to get himself ready, but he couldn't seriously expect Shizuo to not need to do something to control himself.

Izaya fixed him with one of those infuriating smirks, somehow able to look smug and finger fuck himself at the same time.

The informant really was multi-talented.

"Are you ready then?" Izaya purred.

His fingers removed themselves from his entrance to rub the remaining lubricant down Shizuo's erection, and Shizuo jerked his hips upward into the welcome touch, nearly forgetting that he had been asked a question.

"Weren't _you_ the one who was prepping?" he mumbled.

Izaya's smirk morphed into something warmer. Tiny jolts raced through Shizuo's heart at that look, and suddenly the lithe fingers danced up along his erection were no longer just needy and lustful, but caring as well.

"Is that what it looked like?" chuckled the informant, and though there was amusement in his voice, Shizuo could tell that he was no longer mocking, "Maybe I just didn't want to startle my poor, innocent Shizu-chan by taking things too fast."

Shizuo wanted to respond that Izaya was a virgin as well, even if he certainly wasn't innocent, but the brunet was suddenly shifting, his palms pressing down on Shizuo's shoulders while he positioned his stretched opening over the bodyguard's straining erection.

Hazy red eyes lighted back up to Shizuo's, and a shiver ran up his spine at the intensity of Izaya's gaze.

All at once, that delicious heat was engulfing him, Izaya easing himself down onto Shizuo, his breath hitching and legs trembling slightly as he did his best to go slowly both for himself and Shizuo.

Meanwhile, it was all the blond could do from forcing Izaya down. The way the informant's inner walls were twitching around his erection, burning him with that heat, was maddening, but the last thing Shizuo wanted to do was hurt the smaller man, so he stayed absolutely still.

"I-Izaya, are you sure you can…?" Shizuo trailed off awkwardly, not sure how he should word his question without somehow offending the arrogant louse.

Apparently he hadn't been careful enough, because Izaya's eyes narrowed, and he suddenly forced himself down the rest of the way.

"_Ah!_"

* * *

"Shizu-chan… aahn…"

Izaya would never admit it, but the sudden penetration hurt like hell. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on steadying his breathing, all the while completely aware of the large cock burning him and tearing him from the inside out. Sweaty forehead pressed against Shizuo's shoulder, the informant hoped that his discomfort had gone unnoticed by the debt collector.

Fingers lightly ran down Izaya's spine, sending shivers across the brunet's skin as Shizuo began to rub gentle circles into his back.

"Relax," murmured the blond, his lips tickling the sensitive shell of Izaya's ear and causing him to groan, "I don't want to hurt you."

With a weak nod, Izaya took several deep breaths until the pain had subsided.

Tch, how could he handle vending machines to the head but not something as simple as this? It was embarrassing really.

Opening his eyes once more, the informant glanced up to gauge how well Shizuo was holding up, certain that the other man would start moving any minute now if he didn't. Surprisingly, other than his eyebrows being furrowed with concentration, the brute's expression was calmer than Izaya had ever seen it.

A tiny smile tugged at Izaya's lips at this, and he brought his hands down from where they had tangled themselves in Shizuo's hair to rest on the taller man's shoulders. Taking a single moment to brace himself, Izaya used his grip on the other to pull himself up before coming back down on Shizuo's cock with a breathy gasp.

"Nnng, Izay_ah,_" groaned Shizuo, his hands coming down to grasp tightly at Izaya's rocking hips and help him, "So good…"

With the sensation of Shizuo's overheated skin around him and on him and in him, Izaya couldn't help but shudder and moan embarrassingly, his nails digging into the blond's shoulders as Shizuo thrust in with more force than before.

Despite the confidence the informant had felt when he had first decided to try his hand at developing some sort of benevolent relationship between himself and the brute, he had never expected things to work out so well for him.

Even Orihara Izaya could never have predicted that they would end up like _this._

Another tiny groan escaped his lips, though it quickly grew in both volume and wantonness when Shizuo ran his tongue along the shell of his ear, pearly teeth nipping at the sensitive lobe as he brought Izaya's hips down on him once more.

Pleasure raced up the informant's spine this time, momentarily blurring his vision and causing him to mewl some terribly maimed rendition of his partner's name.

Shizuo's eyes widened with genuine confusion at this, and his movements stilled. His hands were still clutching Izaya to him as though he were his lifeline, but they were now tense with what the informant was sure was fear that he had somehow harmed him.

"Ah, don't stop…" Izaya panted.

"I didn't hurt you?" Shizuo asked, and Izaya just barely felt the way the man's fingers twitched against his hips with the desire to move again.

A raspy laugh spilled unbidden from Izaya's lips.

How was this man, the terror of Ikebukuro, capable of being so cute?

"_Hurt_ me? Shizu-chan, we're going to get you an anatomy book after this; it felt amazing."

The blond's face colored in both embarrassment and pleasure at this, and Izaya could tell that the brute was struggling for the words needed to respond.

As much as he would have loved to teach Shizuo about the wonders of male anatomy, he decided that it could wait and intercepted further questioning by leaning down so that he could whisper against the debt collector's ear.

"So I'd really like if you did it again, Shizuo," he murmured, his voice low, "Please…"

Be it the use of his real name or the voice with which Izaya made his request, Shizuo did as he was told without another word, his hips snapping up once more into the informant's. One of Shizuo's hands relinquished its hold on Izaya for a moment before settling itself on the back of the brunet's neck and pulling him down for a kiss that started out as more of a frenzied clash of lips and teeth than an affectionate gesture.

Gasping at the combined sensation of having his lower lip nibbled upon and prostate consistently pounded into, it was all Izaya could do to keep his shaking legs moving while he begged the universe that he didn't run out of stamina before either of them came.

Unfortunately for Izaya, today just didn't seem to be one of his luckiest, and it was with a rather pathetic whimper that he stilled. At a loss for what he should do, he leaned against Shizuo's broad shoulders and deepened their previously sloppy kiss, running his tongue along the blond's gently and managing to pry a pleased moan from the other before Shizuo pulled away.

Though Shizuo was just as flushed as Izaya and his skin was glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, the ex-bartender didn't look any worse for wear.

Seriously…?

"Are you too tired to–"

"Shut up," Izaya mumbled, looking away from the other to hide his embarrassment.

He could think that his fooling around in high school gave him a little more sexual experience than Shizuo, but the fact of the matter the he was just as much of a virgin as Shizuo was.

That, and he didn't have any absurd super-human abilities like the blond.

Izaya could've sworn he heard Shizuo chuckle.

"We'll just do it like this, then," the debt collector said comfortingly, wrapping an arm around Izaya's waist as he gently laid him back onto the mattress of his bed.

Heart lurching at the shift in position, the informant squirmed slightly in Shizuo's hold, trying to ignore the way the movements sent shocks of pleasure through his body each time the blond's cock nudged his prostate. This position was too–

"You don't have to baby me. I was fine," Izaya snapped, and he turned his gaze away from the brute looming over him.

Love for the other man aside, Izaya was still unable to get over the fact that he and Shizuo had spent years trying to kill each other. Even after the time they had spent together, the belief that Shizuo could and would crush him now that he was in such a vulnerable position ran through his mind and made him tense. If he needed to get away, Shizuo's body had him pinned.

"Izaya, look at me."

Scowling, the informant grudgingly lifted his eyes to the other, and guilt instantly washed away the beginnings of fear he had felt in this new position. Shizuo's concerned expression told Izaya all he needed to know to calm himself.

"I'm not going to hurt you, alright? You can trust me," Shizuo assured him, his low, kind voice causing Izaya to blush more than he already was.

Both of them caught the hesitance, though. They knew Shizuo could never absolutely promise he wouldn't hurt anyone, but Izaya understood what he meant: that Shizuo no longer _wanted_ to hurt him.

With this thought in mind, Izaya gave a tiny nod of consent. Shizuo smiled and brought up a hand to brush a few sweaty locks of black hair from Izaya's eyes, and the informant found himself mirroring the sweet expression.

That was all Shizuo needed to start moving again, his hands bringing Izaya's legs up around his waist while he tried to find their rhythm again in this new position. With gravity on his side now, the blond was able to penetrate deeper than before, and Izaya practically mewled as his prostate was hit with every thrust.

"Ah… Shizu-chan, harder," groaned the brunet, his hips moving in time with Shizuo's as he tried frantically for more stimulation.

Before Shizuo had moved him, he had been close, but now with the other man crouched over him so carefully, hands gripping his legs with a gentleness that spoke volumes of how Shizuo felt, Izaya knew he wouldn't last very long.

"Sh-shit, flea. Sucking me in…" Shizuo said.

Izaya didn't bother to counter the remark: it was true. Once the pain had subsided, he found himself quickly becoming addicted to the sensation of Shizuo inside of him, a sentiment he could express only in a series of breathy gasps and utterances.

The bed beneath them creaked a little in protest as they began to move with more urgency, Izaya trembling as his mind went silent of all thoughts except for more, more, _more._

His fingers dug into Shizuo's back as his lower abdomen tensed, and he wondered if the sudden warmth beneath his fingernails might not be from the other man's blood.

"Izaya… I-I'm gonna…" panted the blond, his pale, desperate eyes locking with Izaya's, "Can I…?"

A shaky smirk graced Izaya's sharp features as he pulled Shizuo's face down to his, his lips ghosting against the brute's as he spoke.

"Go ahead, _Shizuo._"

Shizuo came hard at the sound of his name being spoken so seductively, and he growled something that sounded like "Izaya". The feeling of Shizuo's hot seed painting the informant's insides was strange, but certainly not unwanted, and he came just moments after Shizuo, his nails scratching down the bodyguard's back.

While Izaya lay there panting and trying to control the tiny shivers that were dancing along his exhausted frame, Shizuo eased out of the smaller man, carefully eyeing Izaya all the while.

Heh, what was with that look? It was almost like the protozoan expected Izaya to yell at him or something.

"What's that face for?" Izaya asked, removing his hands from the blond's back as he spoke.

He scowled a bit at the feeling of cool air against his sweaty palms, but decided to not think of how badly he needed a shower right now. There were more pressing matters to worry about right now, like the suddenly brooding man over him.

Protozoans weren't supposed to brood.

"Didn't mean to make such a mess in you," replied Shizuo, unable to meet the brunet's dark eyes.

"Tch, is that all?" Izaya snorted, "If I hadn't wanted you to, I wouldn't have let you."

"But–"

"_But_ since my Shizu-chan's such a gentleman, he can go get a towel to make up for it so I can clean myself off~"

Really, Izaya was just too sore and tired to go do so himself, but Shizuo didn't need to know that; it'd probably only make him feel worse.

The blond nodded and left the bed quickly without another word.

Just before Shizuo disappeared into the hallway to retrieve a towel, Izaya caught a glimpse of the angry red lines that had been clawed down the ex-bartender's back, and he couldn't help but grin. Shizuo probably didn't even feel them.

Izaya would be lying if he said he wasn't secretly hoping they'd scar. Shizuo already had one scar from Izaya on his chest, one given out of malice and hatred. In the informant's opinion, it was only fitting that the brute be given an entirely different scar from him.

"Izaya…?"

Jolted from his thoughts by the low rumble of Shizuo's voice, Izaya blinked up in surprise at the other man he hadn't even noticed reenter the room. Shizuo was holding a towel out to him that Izaya took with a grateful little hum, mopping up most of the cum running down his thighs before handing it back to Shizuo.

Shizuo's face was dusted with a light pink as he took the dampened towel and wiped away Izaya's release on his stomach, tossing it to the ground carelessly as he lay back on the bed once more.

Izaya instantly curled up against the blond, and the way Shizuo tensed momentarily didn't go unnoticed by the information broker.

A tiny thrill of triumph ran through him at the thought that for once he had been the one to do something unexpected, even if it did irk him that Shizuo had probably believed he was one of those people who had sex and then didn't want their partner anywhere near them.

They lay in comfortable silence for several moments before the question Izaya had been waiting for finally came.

"What were you thinking about just now? You were zoning out," Shizuo asked.

One of his hands had come up to stroke through Izaya's hair, and the informant fought to keep his eyes open, his body practically melting against Shizuo's.

"Again with the questions," Izaya sighed, though he was too sleepy to inject any snarkiness into his voice, "I'm too tired to shut you up right now, though… I was just thinking about Shizu-chan."

"Hm…" was the blond's soft reply, and Izaya glanced up to see that Shizuo's eyes had closed.

Shizuo's fingers in his hair had stilled. Had he really fallen asleep while Izaya was talking? How insulting.

But now that he was asleep…

Izaya shifted himself so that he was at eyelevel with the other.

"Thank you," he whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Shizuo's forehead before settling back down against his chest, a tiny smile on his face as his eyelids fluttered shut.

_For saving me. For listening to me…_

_For accepting me._

It was probably the first genuine thank you that Orihara Izaya had ever given, and he recalled being vaguely amused at the fact that it had been given to his ex-mortal enemy of all people shortly before sleep finally took him.

* * *

**Yeah... So in a nutshell, my best friend of five years and I cut things off rather messily, found out one friend has HIV, another is going insane, my mom lost her second job, a tsunami hit the country where quite a few of my friends live, and we had to move ASAP because of money problems orz I feel like all of my bitterness and anger went into this chapter; it's really just no good, and I'm so, so sorry for that :( You readers really deserve better. I will do my best to make it up to you wonderful cats in ch19, which I shall hopefully have up in a week-ish, but I make no promises since doing so seems to invite all of the world's misfortunes upon me :'D (P.S. I will try to get up the beginnings of my kinkmeme fill sometime soon, too. Since I was working on that this past month to keep myself sane.) /life TMI.  
**

**I've really never been more embarrassed in my life than I am right now ;; Sorry again, guys. I really do love you all~  
**


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